Take on the DC consumer in charge

Our president spends 4-8 hours watching TV and puts down a dozen DC's per day. This sounds a lot like SuperBowl Sunday for a couple of my buddies but even those slobs only do that once per year. This guy leads the free world and brags about his awesome TiVO machine so he can orgasm over Fox and Friends after Hate-Watching Morning Joe
But a dozen diet cokes is insane, those 1 calories apparently add up because Trump looks like he ate a small car and every time you see him, he gets fatter and fatter
The chances of this guy pulling a William He Roy Harrison while laying in bed with a bag of Cheetos and a Big Gulp have to be somewhere in the 80% range, somebody put him on a diet or we'll be stuck with Pence.