Take on the new hairdo

I just spent half of my lunch going through my twice a year money
splurge, a trim at Jean Claude Van Haircuts. I can't say that the
overall experience was much different than previous engagements other
than a Russian chick with leather pants two sizes to small, I got a
dude who looked like Vizzini which is kind of like getting a food
recommendation from a guy who eats a dirty gyro from the grease trucks
everyday.
Well this dude tugged, yanked and ripped on my hair for 15 minutes
like I was a chick into sadomasocism and then have me a slew of
instructions of how to have my head look like unjust left a salon when
I get out of the shower. This list must have been 20 pages long with
conditioners, gels and other treatment. So, here is to hoping that
it doesn't look like a mental patient tomorrow morning