take on the Dutch businessman

A buddy of mine had a meeting with a Dutchman today, so as part of his prep he asked me if there was anything specific I could tell him about the Dutch (anecdotes, customs, cultural references, soccer team etc.).      now asking me to comment critically on the Dutch is like asking Kobe Bryant to comment on the Lakers which means you are going to get a mouthful..

I came up with the following

My guess is that the dude will show up wearing white pants, a pink shirt and a green tie.   You'll think 'clown' and he'll think 'fashion model'

he'll say "ughh" and "aahh" a lot

 he'll probably be as tall as you are (my buddy is 6'4")

 he'll probably be as slim as Zed is (other buddy weighs 98 pounds)

 he'll probably be as blunt as Righetti is (for obvious reasons)

 he'll probably (not) be as smart as Zeke is  (the Dutch have never been confused with the greatest thinkers)

 Then I warned him that he may very well smell since they don't shower every day, he'll have no problem having a beer at lunch, he'll act pretentious (because he is), he'll vacation 6-8 weeks per year and not think anything of it and he'll have no issue cutting off an old lady to grab a seat on the subway. 

I told him that if he wanted to make small-talk that the Dutch soccer team is pretty good, the Dutch airport is fantastic and there are a few Dutch delicacies which are absolutely fantastic but that Dutch people generally like to stick to making fun of others.. 

I then gave him some information about Dutch bathrooms which are quirky at best.   See the Dutch guy's sink at home won't have hot-water so there is absolutely no chance that he's properly washing his hands because the water that comes out of that spout is usually about 1°C which means holding your hands under it for even 3 seconds gives you frostbite.    The other thing is that his toilet will have this ridiculous shelf where you drop your deuce to avoid back-splash but because of it the entire place will reek like the high-heavens.   

In other words.. the guy will probably have smears of crap all over himself..so don't shake his hand or grab his arse and you'll be in great shape.