I have decided to leave the real important parts of the decade (Y2K, 9/11, Jr. Bush's war atrocities, Chinese rise in commerce etc.) to the 'real media' while we focus on the top 10 events for the tabloid style TOR format.
Without further ado, the top 10 things which influenced the decade
10- the reinvention of instant.
In the 00's we got instant messages, instant hard-ons, instant information or instant gratification Whether it was brought by high speed internet, blue pills or twitter we redefined 'real time' and forced the entire world on a schedule of now-now-now
9-the domination of F0X,
Whether through American Idol, Bill O'Reilly or 24 the media was controlled by the Australian Mr. Burns whose outlook on TV changed the concept from a media outlet to a wave of right wing influence preying on the heartland of the country. This in turn spawned MSNBC, the liberal answer which came with as much OOMF as a wet diaper, which is ironically exactly what most Fox watchers wear
8- the Death of Rock and Roll.
Although this started in the 90's, this decade will go down as the one that brought pop music to commercials and spawned the first band (Coldplay) whose entire existence appears to revolve around making music specifically for commercials. Long gone are the days when Axl Rose would trash a hotel room during a heroin rage, now you are as likely to have the frontman for Nickleback do a commercial for Hilton.
7- IPhones and other web-enabled PDA's.
Nothing moved this decade more than the ability to check news, sports-scores and email more than the web-enabled phone. Long gone are the days of writing letters in cursive, or even waiting to get home to check emails. Everything is now instantly available from the NY Times to Gmail to TOR. We aren't sure this is a good thing but we know you can instantly complain
6-fantasy sports.
Although rotisserie baseball was around when I was in grade-school the fantasy sports craze really hit it's crescendo in this decade when the craze hit an obsession and my life went from boring to lame. Nowhere
5- low rider jeans on chicks,
somehow in the four decades before the turn of the century jeans came in two types: tight and loose. A huge improvement has come recently, in the last ten years the selection at the average jean store has expanded from those two to about 99 different combos to fit (and accentuate) the curves of the woman's frame
4- texting.
Before 2000 if you said send a text, it probably referred to a shipping out a movie script.. today it should be the only way to communicate. Phone calls, emails, normal conversation have all taken a backseat to the most efficient method of communication since the invention of the written word
3- commercialization of everything
Every sportsplay is sponsored by Poland Spring or Budweiser. There are advertisements on everything from back-packs to ATM's to the turnstiles in the subway stations at Times Square. It won't be long before you will have commercials sponsored by other commercials. I can see it now:
"This Coors Lite fantasy Football Break is brought to you by Americare."
2-Facebook.
Social networking in general but Facebook specifically has changed our culture in ways that are both annoying and terrible. Facebook spying is rampant as somehow every ahole you wanted to forget from High-school can now see pictures of you doing some drunken Bon Jovi Routine.
Privacy setting aside, there is nothing left for normal conversation anymore as you know more about the guy working in your office mail room and his weekend than you do about your own family.
1- YouPorn.
Never has pornography been so easy to come by and so easy to get. Today the red-blooded male gets his porn instantly with choices which are almost indefinite without the stigma of going to the back rack of a magazine stand. Gone are the ThreePacks -the two good porn mags which obscured the middle one which is always something totally incestual like FamilyTime, and here are the videos of chicks taking donkey size units downloaded instantly and watched all over the world.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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