Take on Ivanka’s no good very bad day

The video of Ivanka trying to elbow into a conversation with true world leaders is astonishing. Her father is a walking orange embarrassment but somehow she made us look worse than anything he did this weekend..which is miraculous considering he is Trump

But the disdain in the eyes of the IMF chief is great, Macron, Trudeau and May did a slightly better job of hiding their absolute disgust for her and she looked like a complete Barbie bimbo

This is what we get when we elects an orange Idiot

Take on the intellectually limited President

He can't literally be that dumb, can he? When Trump was asked about busing today, he gave a typical rambling answer which came down to him saying that there aren't many good ways for kids to get to school.
Let that set it for a second, the president cannot so much as grasp a concept that divided a country AND was discussed at length after the debate this week.
This is Trump at his most honest, completely disinterested in anything that doesn't have to do with him, without intellectual curiosity in learning anything new and completely ill equipped to be anything other than some idiot reality TV character

Take on Trump Dobler

Trump is trying to hit the trifecta by giving handies to three of the worst dictators in the world all within a matter of hours. He first refused to engage MBS on anything remotely related to the murder of Khashoggi, he then joked with Pappa Vlad about election meddling and now he wants to stand outside of Kim Jong Un's bedroom playing "in your eyes".

Lucky for us, he's definitely has our best interest in mind and will have Kushner at his side for all of it. What can possibly go wrong??

Take on the crowded field.

It's time to clear the deck. Ten people on a debate stage is like trying to drive ten cars cross country at the same time, it just doesn't work. Half these people wouldn't be recognized in the local Target and some of the ones that would be are recognized because they are so frigging unlikeable

Tonight all the talk will be about Kamala going after Old Man Joe or about the chick at the end who has some kind of speech impediment but really it should be about a bunch of people who just shouldn't be up on stage

St this point in the 2016 election, Jeb! Was leading the GOP pack mostly because of name recognition, I have to think that this is exactly what will happen with Biden. He sounds like the ideal candidate in theory but the reason he never became president is because he cannot chew gum and debate at the same time.
I'm done with De Blasio, the Hawaiian lady, Klobuchar and anybody who is an old white man

Give me Kamala, Booker, Warren and Mayor Pete and lets get this thing on the right track.

Take on the first democratic debate

I didn't have a chance to watch the Democratic Debate but seeing the commentary on social media it sounded like it was either boring or really boring. When the highlight is Beto speaking broken Spanish and the meme of Cory Booker and Elizabeth Warren looking like they saw Donald Trump walk into their room in the buff

I follow more politics then most people I know and even I couldn't name all 23 democratic candidates. These guys are so white, so lame and so boring that the chances of beating Trump have to be way under 50%

Let's hope tomorrow's version is better because this thing sounded like an complete mess


And how the hell did de Blasio get invited? In NY we wouldn't invite this moron to buy us a slice of pizza

Take on the @Wayfair hysteria

The internet is going nuts about @wayfair selling a number of beds to be used for the migrant children held at detention centers along the southern border and I honestly do get it. I find the entire act of border separation despicable and the conditions these innocent children are being housed is a human atrocity. I hold Trump responsible and he deserves all the blame but what I don't get is why we would protest them buying beds.
The fact that these children are forced to sleep on concrete floors is a travesty, buying them beds doesn't change the fact that they are being imprisoned but while we can't quickly change that we would want them to have some basic necessities. Wayfair could offer to donate them but the government should pay for this, so I have no issue with them buying them

I'm not quite sure what they'd want Wayfair to do? Should they not take the order and have these kids continue to sleep on concrete?? That will show everybody!!!

Take on the Trump rape charge denial

Just when you didn't think he could go much lower, Trump is at it again. In denying the rape charges he didn't claim to not have been there, or even that it was some vast left wing conspiracy, Trump denied it by saying that she's not his type. He can't possible answer with "no comment" instead alway needing to hit just a bit harder below the belt.

This is who we elect, a man who denies a credible rape charge by degrading the woman based purely on looks...and it's likely his best defense.

Melania must be so proud.

Take on Chuck Todd

Chuck Todd couldn't hold Tim Russert's jock. When he's finally gotten the opportunity to interview Trump the most memorable sequence is him asking Trump where he'd have his presidential library which is laughable on so many levels.
Trump and library are two words that have never been in the same sentence when not separated with "extensive porn" but who cares

We are living through daily crisis, with migrant families being separated, a war with Iran feeling imminent, a trade war dragging on our economy, an irresponsible environmental policy, unprecedented corruption and a national debt growing faster than his waist side, yet Chuck Todd asks him about his presidential library?!?

You can ask ask an ex-president that, you can ask a president in the final months of his final term but you don't waste precious air time to show us that.

Have some guts you incoherent fool.

Take on the end of the de Blasio

Mr Mayor, it's over.

Bill de Blasio is keeping his miserable campaign alive even as he is drawing smaller crowds than your coworker does at his Comedy Sets. There are at least a dozen people running for the democratic nomination who should be, but the mayor would be the highest profile-lowest polling one.
He has national name recognition but there is literally nobody in the 8.6million people in NYC who want this guy to do anything other than to jut go away

Take on GGL law firm

I'm a big fan of the Failing New York Times but I have to say their ads have gotten Viagra level bad.  I'm reading an article on the provocation by Iran and Trump's lukewarm response...or lack of one.   But as I'm reading I'm forced to pass an ad, for what seem like a law firm run by the Sopranos for the Sopranos

I'm not sure who GGL is but I'm certain I'd be more comfortable if they had my back after I had a fallout with my bookie than if they were defending me against a traffic ticket 

Then again maybe the idea is that having Pauly Walnuts represent Tony Soprano is actually good business practice when you are leaning in with a littl muscle

Sent from my iPhone

Take on Roy Rogers Moore

Roy Moore just doesn't know when to people say no. He lost the special election to a democrat in Alabama which should tell you how likable he really is. This guy rode a horse to the last election polling station and likely offered a ride on his horse to any teenage girl he passed. He is one of the most despicable humans to have ever held a seat in either branch of Congress and that is saying something

Let's hope he loses so badly he won't show his face in a mall for a decade which is good for any teenage girl in Alabama

Take on Jerry Falwell jr

The chances of the naked photos of Jerry Falwell's wife being innocent photos of her sunbathing are probably 0.000001%. The chances of the photos showing her cuckhold husband gag-tied watching her get rammed by the pool boy are decent and the chances of her husband participating in the act and not an innocent bystander are over 75%.

You have to wonder how he explains this to his congregation. Even if he never admits to any impropriety behavior what the heck is an evangelical preacher doing hanging out at a swanky South Beach hotel where he meets a 21 year old kid who he then puts in charge of a $5 million hotel.

When you the. find out that he's been flying the kid around on his personal jet and you start to realize what all this is about and it's not about giving some poor kid a leg up but much more likely giving old Jerry a chance to get out some of his animal lust

Take on Trump’s guitar enthusiasm.

Trump tried to stroke interest for his big campaign rally today by claiming there is this unreported amount of enthusiasm which goes unreported. He then made an analogy saying that nobody has ever seen anything like it with the caveat "unless you play a guitar"

I have absolutely no idea what the guitar portion is suppose to signify but if there is something Trump could never accomplish it would be playing an instrument. He has neither the finger dexterity nor the mental aptitude for something involving any side of the brain that isn't used exclusively for his primal animal instincts.

Take on state TV

Uh oh, the polls are not looking good and for the first time those polls are coming from FoxNews.   Trump is raging because when state TV starts pushing down against the dear leader, it's like the rats jumping off the ship

What is most telling is that Trump only got 27k likes on this tweet which tells guy that he's fractured his audience.  Half of it are Fox junkies and the other half are other just junkies

Sent from my iPhone

Take on Trump’s bad treatment

Trump genuinely believes that he has been treated so badly that there is no other president in his stratosphere when it comes to mistreatment. He even thinks that Abraham Lincoln who didn't see the second act was not treated as badly as he is because Trump's been asked for things like his tax returns, asked about what he knows about election interference and has had people question his ability to keep his personal business decisions separate from his presidential ones

But this is who we elect, a complete narcissist whose entire world comes crashing down the second you so much as our a scratch in the armor.

Take on the suspended campaign

Howard Schultz hid behind some mystery medical condition to bow out of the presidential bid which was the equivalent of the tree falling in the Forrest analogy. Howard Schultz has the personality of a falling tree and his chances of coming out on top for President were about even with de Blasio's. He brought nothing of value to the campaign other than reminding us that hiring a business man with no political pedigree or experience seems like a really bad idea.
But we hope him well in his next endeavor which probably involves opening multiple locations of the same thing within ten feet of one another which kind of reminds me of what the democratic debate stage will look like when they face off in their orange v purple debate.

Take on orange vs purple

Decision 2020 splits the Democrats into two debate groups which sound like they are splitting up the Lamda Lamda Lamda crowd in terms of coolness. When you call them the orange team vs the purple team, you just know this will have the kind of energy of a bingo night.

I'm not sure which debate will be more boring but I suspect they will both be more soft-porn than hard core. This early in the process these guys will all be circling the wagons and likely not try to land any body blows.
Let's just hope half these guys drop out before this

Take on the end of Big Huck era.

Big Huck's tenure as the worst press secretary of all time just ended and the concepts of honesty and transparency are better for it. Without a bit of irony, Trump announced by thanking her for the 3 1/2 years of service at the White House.

All press secretaries probably stretch the truth somewhat but Sarah Sanders stretched it as if she was trying to fit into a size 2 dress. There wasn't a story she wasn't willing to fabricate, a poll she wasn't willing to twist and a falsehood by her boss she wasn't willing to cover for. In fairness to her there are people on her role who the press would've eaten alive, she basically had them for lunch....and ordered seconds.

So goodbye Big Huck, if you are replaced with a bulldog, it won't be much different in terms of getting information from the administration and when there is a stench in the room, we still won't know who to blame.

Take on The Trump Bump Dump

Is there any doubt that if Trump could delete himself he would? Sadly for him, his stubby unit, weird neck and gigantic belly makes that an impossible combination but he seems to relish in the next best thing which is self praise. His "lots of people are saying" shtick has been seen through and exposed countless times but somehow he doesn't have the self awareness to realize that he has just become a laughing stock when he uses it. Even his most loyal ardent supporters acknowledge that you can't take anything he says literally and most also admit most of what he says can't be taken seriously.

What is maddening though is that they don't see it as a character flaw but instead see his blatant dishonestly as a badge of honor by sticking it to the libs

Take on the Mexican deal

Trump has been bragging about this great deal he struck with Mexico, a deal so great that nobody can know the details including the Mexicans. He insists that he'll reveal the contents of the greatest deal shortly which is as believable as the time he said he would release his taxes.

We predict the deal will be as good as advertised which means we will get

- a big beautiful wall on their dime..or peso
- a break in illegal immigration
- tons of cheap Mexican items
- a year worth of tacos
- a case of corona
And we only give up our soul.

Seems like a hell of a deal.

Take on the lying President

The Washington Post has been keeping their Pinocchios tab going. They figured that he averages like 12 kids per day and that doesn't count him fudging his golf score or putting on his wig. I'm wondering if they have a kid pool going in the Post press room, where everybody ha to throw in $50 and guess how many lies he'll tell before the end of his presidency with Price is Right rules

The good news is that we're only 1.5 years away from crowning a champion

Take on Trump’s big agreement

To nobody's surprise, Trump's big agreement with Mexico was sold by him as this incredible deal for farmers but when the dust settled, Mexico claimed no such deal was made
This is the way Trump handles things. He creates a crisis, doesn't think of the consequences, never formulates a realistic end goal, threatens big, negotiates from a point of weakness and then tells everybody it's the greatest deal of all time when in fact it's no different than what we started with. But the amazing thing is that he has convinced people that behind all of that, stands a master negotiator, a person with a skill set we don't understand

But it's not, this is what we are left with. A limited man with a gigantic ego who shows up short handed but somehow can convince us all that he's actually good at something he's terrible at...he like a walking infomercial for horribleness

Take on the leadership crisis

What the GOP needs now is leadership, they need somebody to step up and say that the party has lost its way and that Lincoln would be turning over in his grave. They have given in to forces outside of their norm and have sold their souls to the devil

But thank god we had Mitt Romney who in no uncertain terms today said that he may or may not endorse Trump in 2020. This is backbone, this is leadership, this is putting your country first.

Time for Mitch and Lindsey and Devin to take note because they are standing in the company of greatness, a man who stands up to tyranny and corruption and Sean and Rush and the rest

M

Take on Uncivilized travel

Train travel always has this feel of sophistication but having experience it first hand, it has to be one of the least civilized methods of transportation

I travelled through Penn Station today and for all the crap Port Authority takes for being a dump, at least there is some order. The entire concept of the waiting area has to be one of the least organized place I've ever been, it's like the mob pit at a Motley Crue concert without the slutty 80's chicks but an equal amount of meatheads. There are a thousand people who wait until some track announcement and these stationary people all squeeze and fight and push their way to the tracks to get from this miserable place to their miserable home with their miserable families. Honestly this is no way to live.

Take on John Dowd

The John Dowd voicemail to Flynn's attorney was much more damaging in audio form than it even was in transcript. This is what it must have freely like when FBI agents were listening to John Gotti and seems like a classical description of obstructions it's covering for some type of racketeering

These are an example of "the best people" that Trump surrounds himself with and just another example of the mind boggling nature of Nancy Pelosi's refusal to bring impeachment hearings

What do these guys have to do?? Literally shoot somebody on 5th Avenue??

Take on Donald’s European vacation

Trump put on a top hat in an apparent nod to Winston Churchill but came out looking like Elmer Fudd. This is Trump at his worst, get him on an extended overseas trip and he finds himself bored and horny and he can apparently relieve both stresses by going after Bette Midler
He was interviewed by Piers Morgan whose only slightly more annoying than Richard Quest and truthfully he would have been better drinking bleach.
Please come home Donald, you are killing us over there in Europe

Take on Trump in tuxedo

Trump had a black-tie event with the queen yesterday and the only thing you think of when comparing his photo with her majesty and the one of his predecessor is...did he eat Enrico Pallazzo?

Trump looks like a gigantic whale, his white vest buttons seem so strained that they can pop off like a machine gun at any time. His body is so incredibly wide that he takes up virtually the entire frame. He's like a fat penguin waddling over to meet the queen and you just know this slob will spill shrimp marinara all over his shirt

Take on the free press.

There will be US history classes in thirty years debating how the hell our country allowed Trump to get away with the stuff he does. He suggested today that people drop AT&T to put pressure on CNN to give him more favorable press, and nobody bats an eye. A free press keeps an administration in check but this is the last thing Trump wants as he knows instinctively that the more they dig, the more they find and the more they find, the unglued the picture becomes. Of course there was some outrage and a few commentators had comments but the people who would have the power to do something about it, did what they always do...sit on their hands

Take on Trump’s church gear.

Trump showed up at some church today to pray with the people of Virginia Beach having come directly off of the golf course. It was a weird look as his usual rats nest haircut was replaced with a very TOR one, he wore this ugly blazer over a polo shirt, matched it with these ridiculous khakis and decided that a church function was the perfect place for golf spikes.
This is Trump in a nutshell, you know he had zero interest in going to church, even on the official "pray for Trump" church day and when he did show up, he couldn't bother to put on a suit. This guy wears a suit everywhere, he once punched Don Jr because he showed up at a Yankee hame in a T-shirt. But God forbid he takes off his golf crap to go to church

Take on the National day of prayer

The most ludicrous thing that will have come out of this period in our time will be that the religious right will have embraced this president despite the fact that there is nothing in his heart or soul that should speak to a Christian.

Actually.. maybe that line would be better if we just chopped off everything after the word soul


Franklin Graham must had a closet so full of skeletons, ones that Donald Trump is well aware of, that he not only sold his soul to the devil, he's dancing with him as we speak. The religious right has lost any sense of a moral high ground with their embrace of this man and everything he represents