Barack Obama is unamerican, because there is no way that somebody who truly believes in American values would ever try to ruin the great American Holiday. Now the truth is that every other president was equally unamerican, that includes FDR, Reagan and JFK too because for all their claims of American exceptionalism they too bowed down to the demands of a few.
We celebrate the one true American holiday by the art of overindulgence and that single act makes us who we and defines us are yet this president pardoned a couple of oversized chickens today in some lame kickback to Big Tofu.
Those two birds should be cleaned, stuffed, brined and roasting in an oven in about 17 hours
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