Take on the Trump loss

Trump finally lost. It was a few months late but I guess it's better late than never. This one was about the debt ceiling and he wanted to raise it on Biden's watch not his own. This is typical of Trump, he doesn't actually like the governance part of it, he just likes the ridiculousness of it all

Take on president Elon

The smartest thing the democrats have done since the Weird thing this summer is l the recently adopted running joke of Elon rubbing the show while Donnie has to play second fiddle. You wonder why it took them so long to get somewhere with this because it's so obvious that having all these memes with Elon larger than Trump has to irritate him to no ends.

Take on the Jansport backpack

35 years ago, I desperately wanted a Jansport backpack and after begging and pleading I finally got my parents to drop some stupid amount of money on a bag which looked exactly like the bag every other kid had. Fast forward and my own kids are looking for the exact same backpack I had as a kid and it's still twice as expensive as any other bag. You'd think the extra money pays for better quality not just a brand but honestly in 35 years plus of making these things, they still have bit figured out that kids will jam these things full and then before you know it, the zipper will get stuck

My kid's zipper is so stuck, I need jaws of life to have a shot to open up that bag.

Take on the Canadian annex

In season 1, Trump wanted to buy Greenland which was met with more than a little skepticism. We obviously never thought we'd be back here again but here we are and now in season two and 47 is threatening to annex Canada. I'm not quite sure what our northern neighbors think of this but I have to think that all those new Canadian immigrants that come with the territory won't make Trump all that happy. Then again, most of them are white (or Asian) so maybe he won't care that much.

You'd have to think the new state (or hopefully multiple states) would lean left and we can retake congress and the presidency.

Sign me up...if nothing else it can only help our Hockey teams

Take on the TikTok ban

I never cared all that much about alleged Chinese spying embedded within TikTok, always assuming that they are already listening. I also assume Meta and Google and whatever else is listening too, so don't believe we should have any pretense of moral clarity.
Why in happy that there might be a TikTok ban is so that my teenage kids are forced to spend time doing anything else.

Take on the FDIC

I guess if you are loving the return of Polio, you'll love the run on banks. It's like we are back in the 1930's all over again and the party is just about to start.

Today I noticed a new FDIC insured message when I opened by Citi app and first thought it was odd as they were maybe forced to do so, or maybe they were making a statement.

Turns out it's a new FDIC mandate which makes sense as a preemptive move but it does beg the question as to what the hell Trump is thinking with this. At least in the first term he was overtly nuts but now it's like this branded craziness which will destroy us.

The plans to make us back 100 years is coming together nicely.

Take on Don Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle's split

When news broke that Donnie Jr and Kim Guilfoyle had broken off their engagement, I'm sure tears were shed Those were maybe by the florist or the wedding planner, as I can't imagine anybody else not being paid to run that wedding cares about either of them. Little Donnie is already with some other skank, so I'm sure papa Trump is happy enough to send the last one to Greece

Screw this entire horrible family.

Take on endless daylight savings.

Trump is talking smith eliminating daylight savings but somehow he's got the wrong side of the argument. If we go to full time standard time, we'll never get our long summer evening nights, it will always feel like miserable winter. So please god, don't do this to me.

Take on the UFO drones

The worst thing that ever happened was the Ring community feature where people freak the hell out about a million random things. For the last few years it was random coyote sightings or a missing Amazon box but the last two weeks in NJ, we get a notification every three minutes about a drone sighting. Last night we had something like 15 notifications which made my eyes bleed and made me want to throw my ring doorbell in the river.

Get over yourself and start living life and stop staring at the sky hoping to see Alf.

Take on the giant USB plug hole thing

Every electronic charger you get now is one of those Mini USB-C things yet every airline I've ever flown on is still only offers those gigantic USB plug holes.

I am not sure how the hell these airlines expect me to sit quietly for a six hour flight if I can't even charge my phone anymore. Time to make it into the 21st century, PanAm.

Take on the confused elevator

I get to my hotel today and I'm floored. I thought I woke up in Michigan today but apparently I'm in Berlin because the elevator is telling they have both a Ground Floor AND a First Floor. I'm not sure what kind of mental gymnastics I need to do to make sense of this but if we ever thought socialism was coming, here is the clearest sign.

Take on the three types of people at an airport

Long gone are the days when people looked dignified travel, somehow we have decided that going to the airport means we are basically giving up on any style. People don't even try anymore a this point, and it's rely the downfall of civilization.


I'm convinced there are only three types of people at an airport.

- the business person, dressed up nicely, clean and basically staying out of the way and just hoping to get their connection to Milwaukee.

- the guy traveling to Florida with the stupid Goofy hat on and a Hawaiian shirt on. Usually has his boarding pass in a punch around his neck and his wife screaming at him wearing a Minnie Mouse shirt and a pair of pants three sizes too small.

- the person who looks completely homeless in dirty sweats, crocs with socks and one of those shirts you get free when signing up for a Discover card.

We need dress code at these places. It's disgusting.

Take on Assad

I was thrilled to see the Assad government overthrown not because I have any idea what the next group will do but because the Syrians deserved to have their say. My problem is that we've seen this before and usually it runs into a complete cluster. We are weeks away from ISIS running the joint.

It's with them or worse yet some new splinter faction which will make ISIS looks like teddy bears in the same way that ISIS made Al Qaeda look like a walk in the park

Take on the end of The Michael Kay show

The Michael Kay show coming to and end feels less tragic than when we lost Mike and the MadDog mostly because while Francesa is a complete self indulging slob, he's must listen radio while Kay is every bit as self absolutes but not nearly as interesting.
I have listened to most shows for the last few years and although it has started to grow on me, the fact these guys aren't in the same studio most of the time, is the reason the chemistry feels manufactured.

Maybe try actually hanging out together next time.

Take on the ultra wealthy

Tax the Rich
Eat the Rich
Whatever
The fact that Elon Musk is basically the republican version what they claim they hate most (a secret deep state running the government by pulling the financial levers) and it's all lead by Elon. I have to think that a guy willing to spend 1/4 billion dollars just to get Trump elected, must mean something.bur right now he's got the best seat in the house when it comes to influencing Trump.

Take on assassinator

Yesterday's brazen assassin Marion of the health care executive just feels off. I'm not talking about the evils of the healthcare system or whatever justification you hear, I'm saying that the fact that we have a shooting a few blocks and a bit more than an hour before I was there, is shocking. This just doesn't happen in the US, Yeah we have school shootings, domestic violence and gang warfare but assassinations are like a thing in Russia. Who the hell do we think we are?

Take on Navarro.

I know it wasn't a shock but really, Peter F'n Navarro?? There isn't anybody who I'd want to run trade less than this guy who basically has a mission to run us all into the ground.

Plus he's a January 6th conspirator

I'd prefer they hire Dave Navarro.

Take on Pete Hegseth.

God, Pete Hegseth is a complete lunatic. I am sure there are worse humans somewhere but I'd be hard pressed to find too many. Not only does his own mom think he's a danger to women's his colleagues called him a drunk and an angry one at that. So please god, let's not give this psycho the keys to a Suzuki Sidekick let alone the keys to the Pentagon.

Take on these notifications on the screen

Every time I see one of these motivations on my phone after the latest iPhone iOS update, i think it's a hair or booger or piece of dirt. I don't know who thought it was necessary for us to be told how many unread messages you have for any app on this Lock Screen but if you want to give me more anxiety, you've accomplished your goal

Take on Hunter

We don't have the House, the Senate, the White House or most state houses. We don't have the Supreme Court or any of the most powerful CEO's pushing our agenda but we always had the moral high ground.

Till Biden decided to pardon Hunter.

If we are going to act like the GOP by stooping to their level, we may as well try to actually do anything to win elections.

Take on Kash

There probably isn't a crazier member of Trump's new team than Kash Patel. I've hated this dude and recognized how dangerous he was since the first season but now that he's actually got a position to do some real damage and I'm frightened. Can we please for the love of god, get some normal folks in there??

Take on Black Friday

Made the mistake of agreeing to go to the mall today, which was like dining myself up for Chinese water torture. I spent most of the time sitting on a bench outside of Macy*s but still felt like I was soundly defeated. But what got me was that there were lines of 40 to 50 people deep to get into Hollister and Pacific Sunwear. I mean, I realize I'm not one who has any fashion sense but how many lame Poison shirts are these kids wearing.

Take on Trump saying he'll l protect US-made cars through steep tariffs, but there is no such thing as an all-American car

It's shocking how little Trump knows about how trade works. For a guy who claims to have a different level of insight, most of his decisions are mind numbingly stupid. There is no way to protect "American" cars when everybody knows the entire supply chain goes through Mexico. Maybe it's time we don't elect morons.

Take on the Port Authority pisser

When there is another endless line at Port Authority as you wait to get onto an endless Thanksgiving bus ride, you are smart to take a leak. As you exit, the question the machine has is "how are we doing?" and I'm like.

- touching that thing is something that nobody in their right mind would do, you can literally see the piss backsplash on the keyboard thing.
- how the hell would anybody vote for anything other than the red frowning face. It's not really anybody's fault but we are talking about the men's room at Port Authority on the day before Thanksgiving. The fact there isn't a giant snickers bar i the urinal is a pleasant surprise.

Take on tariffs

I don't understand how Trump has gotten away for years blatantly lying about tariffs. There is no one with any sense of how the economy works who has corrected Trump to the point he'll stop spouting these lies. This is Trump though, he repeats until we stop asking and somehow he has hoodwinked the half the country who voted to increase inflation.

Take on new tariffs

Trump really knows how to cause pain to Americans. His latest genius idea is to put tariffs on all items imported from Mexico and Canada which will basically just impose a 25% price increase for Americans. The saddest thing is that those same people don't realize that neither Mexico or Canada will be paying for this, it will just increase our prices.
Thanks Trump

Take on Elon

I'm not one to fat shame but when I saw the last photo of Elon, even I had to comment. What the hell happened to this dude, he looks like a pregnant man but not in a normal pregnant way. He looks he basically ate Vivek and hasn't been able to sh*t him out.

Take on climate change

We know it's likely too late but we still know we have to do something. I'm not sure any of these climate summits really work but I do know that it hasn't rained in months till we had a four day typhoon come through. I can't say I understand any of those stuff but I will say that in my own lifetime the climate has changed a lot and not really for the better.
But the idea that a couple of rich countries get together and say they will
pollute a little less or more accurately will shrink the rate of their pollution growth is a laughable solution

Take on Elon Musk Apparently becoming the No. 1 ‘Diablo 4’ Player In The World

When I read the headline that Elon Musk had somehow become the number one ranked player on something called Diablo 4, I texted a few buddies with this theory I've been working on.

Is it possible that the world's richest man, one who has every bit of technology, artificial intelligence and manufacturing available to himself, has somehow created human cloning. That may explain how he can somehow appear to run seven major companies, some of which are the biggest in the world. Oh and by the way, he also has time to spend hours trolling on X and still figure out a way to spend what appears to be every possible second as Trump's in person lapdog. This is all in anticipation for his new gig where he will be heading up a new government agency.

My theory is that using Neurolink, he's cloned his brain which they have put into multiple robots allowing him to be in fifteen places at once.

But like Multiplicity told us, he's making a copy for a copy which means the fidelity and quality decreases explaining how he continues to get more and more awful

Either that or he's just paying somebody to pretend he's him on this video game.

Take on the Gaetz withdrawal from attorney general consideration

The Matt Gaetz attorney general nomination always felt a bit bizarro world even for Bozo the Trump. The chances of him ever getting confirmed always seemed like a long shot considering the fact that nobody actually likes Matt Gaetz. The dude is creepy, he's weird and that entire story with his pool boy turned adoptive son who somehow disappeared never really got the scrutiny it deserved. He can now be Trump's full time lackey.

Take on modern art

I hate modern art. I have no patience for it, see no enjoyment in it and find the entire genre to be self gratification on steroids

But what is more ludicrous is that somebody would pay for this crap; in this case $6million for a banana taped to a wall. I have spent a lot of time contemplating how dumb an idea this is but maybe it's grisly brilliant because some jackhole is willing to spend money on it.

Take on Just End The Season

Somehow the Jets thought their problem was Joe Douglas. This is after they thought it was Robert Saleh.
I have some news for you, the issue is not some henchman. The issue comes front the top down and it's way above the parade of Douglas or Saleh

If you have a fire in your living roll, you can try to pee on the rug but if the fire is burning down the chairs and the couch and the curtains m, I'm not sure your little drops are making much of a difference
Aaron Rodgers is a cancer who needs to go that is for certain but what really has to happen is that this team will never bee good as long as Woody owns it

Sell The Team you Trump loving hack.

Take on Matt Gaetz

Here is a novel idea. Let's put Matt frigging Gaetz as the head of law enforcement for our country. Nobody is sleazier than Gaetz, nobody has less morals than Matt Gaetz and nobody has a forehead the size of that of Matt Gaetz

I find this dude to be so incredibly repulsive that even if he was qualified, which is not, I wouldn't want him anywhere near the most.

God, these next four years are going to suck.

Take on Ronald and the McDonalds crew

The Trump team flew to UFC for some level of ridiculous testosterone and they all got treated to McDonalds which they displayed proudly. We know this comes across a bit odd with RFK Jr but like everything else Trump touches turns into a quarter pounder. I'm not sure these bromances will last all that long but let's hope they all have their arteries significantly clogged.

Take on the cnbc Thread ·

I'm all for journalism but what passes for it today is just ludicrous. A CNBC thread post teases us with what has to be one of the most insanely uninteresting eadlines ever. It talks about Apple releasing 42 phones in the last 18 years which is mildly interesting but concludes their breaking news with the riveting bit of info saying that Apple is now one of the world's most profitable companies. You don't say, I never heard anything like this what so ever. Who knew that Apple was such a success, you'd think that other outlets would able gotten wind of this at some point.

Take on Netflix's failure to launch

They are paying Tyson and Paul a combined $60M but somehow Netflix isn't close to figuring out how to put something like this on. Between the buffering action, the lame announcers, that one field getting her eye poked out of her skull and Jerry Jones this is some of the worst television we've seen in a long time. I'm sure of one thing and this that both Paul and Tyson are in on the joke and this thing is more scripted than a WWE match

Take on Bronny

The entire Bronny James thing has always bored me but when I saw he got demoted to the G league but will only be playing home games, I was floored.   If you are Lord LeBron, why would you want him to have it that easy??  Why not get the work in and use the opportunity for game time experience?   I mean flying commercial isn't that bad and if he was really so concerned, upgrade him to first.    Let the kid be exposed a bit. 

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Take on the crazies


You've got to be kidding me!! RFK Jr to head health, a fox weekend anchor for secretary of defense and that weird Lee Zeldin guy in charge of the EPA?

But not to be outdone by his own lunacy, he's now wants an accused pedophile for AG and Tulsi Gabbard in charge of intelligence. What's next Thomas the Train for secretary of transportation.

I mean, our nations is going to get what it voted for with this guy, he's getting more nuts by the second and we are going to suffer so hard for it.

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Take on the toilet dilemma

Some study was conducted to proved that after sitting on the can for too long, your legs kind of go dead and standing up and falling into the bowl becomes a real fear. I'm not sure what the best thing is but I will say that I'm sure there would be a lot less of the armchair quarterbacking when it comes to science if we weren't all sitting on the can with our phones out.

So get up, wipe up and be done.

The on Little Marco

Little Marco got himself back into the Trump orbit and is now going to be given the biggest cabinet position. I'm not sure what to think but I guess he's better than any one of 100 other lunatics Trump could have nominated. I'm not sure Marco is that bright but at this point it was probably a choice between Marco and Nick Fuentes

Take on the Elon <3 Trump thing.

The Trump-Elon bromance has always felt odd but when one guy can get the other guy huge tax breaks in exchange for some street cred, I guess they both agree. I'm not sure why these ultra wealthy care that much about tax breaks when at some point they have so much they can't possibly spend it even when they have 40 kids.

But the weirdest thing is the way Elon shakes Trump's hand, it's their weirdly effeminate gesture where he turns the palm along Trump to stroke it. It's such an odd visual and thinking of the two of them naked at a Russian bathhouse is something I've now burned into your frontal lobe. I'm sorry.

Take on Trump on a world stage Take II

The free world is about to find out how devastating another Trump presidency will be and truthfully I'm selfishly fearing it. I travel worldwide and the idea of having to explain that my country has fallen into a 1930's German like trap isn't something I'm looking forward to have to explain.

Take on Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan solidified a key demographic for Trump. 20 somethings who don't get laid regularly and spend a lot of time gaming. He assumed that with that boost, he'd have some influence in Trump's orbit and was hoping Trump would be a unifier which is laughable concept. I'm not sure who is more gullible, Rogan or his audience because there is no way Trump's going into any of this without the idea of massive retribution.

Take on the missing 12 million votes.

Looking at the last two elections 

In 2020 Trump got 74M votes and Biden got 81M

In 2024 Trump got 73M votes and Harris got 69M (with a few more to count)

Everybody is going to discuss the electorate.  We are going to try to see where she went wrong.  But if you look at the total vote it speaks volumes

Even if there are a bunch of mail in votes to count, in truth Trump's total vote doesn't change, he gets about 75M each election. 

I'm sure that people who supported Trump did so in '16 and '20.    But democrats went from like 81M to 69M.  Where the hell the did the 12M people go??  

The percentage of white men for Trump goes up because less Democratic white men came out to vote, same with other groups.  Maybe it's not that he got more popular, he seems to have hit his ceiling but more likely the Democrats just can't get the turnout based on their messaging 

They stayed home because she's a black woman. 

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Take on straight white men

I've felt it for weeks, I am not sure what it was but it all felt way too much like 2016. We learned a lot about our country, most notably that straight white men suck...Hispanic men aren't far behind.

We straight white men can't phantom the thought of a female president so much that we straight white men vote against everything we claim to hold true all of our claims of equality and family values, all in the name of bullshit machismo.
We straight white men are the ones that held her back, we straight white men are the ones who couldn't be talked to let alone convinced and we straight white men are the ones who will be so overly boastful now. We straight white men prove again that despite our claims not to, we don't respect women; and we straight white men especially don't respect a black woman.


This one is squarely on us. Sadly, we aren't the ones who will pay.

Take on the 2024 Election live results

We knew it would be a long night and we knew it would take a few days more to sort it all out and maybe declare a victor but the first three plus hours of this has been anything but enjoyable. I am not sure what the internal polling was telling democrats but it's pretty obvious our country is at best going to make this an election that made us all sweat too much and at worst shove this lunatic down our throats. But most importantly it will show the rest of the world that we are a bunch of imbeciles.
How the hell we would elect a guy whose entire campaign is about his own grievances and his own self interest is beyond me.

Take on NYT news

I can't figure out what event the NYT will decide to push onto my Home Screen and what event doesn't quite meet their high internal editorial standards. Today we got the "inventor of Jansport bags who was really old, dies". We're talking about a brand that has some staying power but a founder we'd ever heard. Please don't shove this down our throats the night of the election.

Take on cheating at youth sports

As a long time youth sports coach, there are a few things I can't tolerate.

Obnoxious parents
Referees who don't know the offsides rule
People cheating on birth certificates

I can't tell you how often I've seen the first two and how little I've seen the third mainly because the rules on the US are petty strict (Danny Almonte aside). But how lame is it to actually think a parent would do this.

Take on Iowa

Nobody has thought of Iow in terms of a presidential election since the caucuses like two years ago.  I'm sure this blip isn't real; mostly because I just don't believe it can possibly be.   We've seen polls fail before and I find that when there is a big move right before the election, it doesn't seem to hold.     But at least, for one night, we can feel a bit of confidence.   The idea that our country isn't completely  filled with mindless bigots is a nice thought because I don't think we can survive another four years of this guy's madness. 

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Take on the drought

We often bitch and moan about how hot or cold or wet the weather is but holy hell have we had an incredible fall. It's been warm and dry and everybody has been in a good mood (other than being totally anxious about Tuesday). The leaves turned, we all got a lot more vitamins D and I never once took out my jacket, so what can be so wrong. But it's also November and it hasn't rained since like the summer and now we're being told we can't shower or bath which is going to do wonders for the people shoved in tight spaces when it's 80 degrees. But what this time will really prove is who is a team player and who is a selfish slob who will have a green lawn, a full pool and clean armpits.