Toke on the 245th day

We're celebrating our 245th birthday today in true American fashion. Our citizens will spend the day eating a vast amount of greasy food, shooting off some cheap fireworks they bought across state lines, drinking cases of light beer, watching a little baseball on TV and taking a nap on the couch.
We've gone through a lot in these 245 years, we defeated the redcoats, we fought an insurgency from the south, we helped save the world and made it to the moon. We also stayed segregated for nearly 200 of those years, we've sent native Americans in a trail of tears, we have convinced ourselves that great wealth achieved by a small few is good for the masses. We've been stuck in what seems like a half a dozen quagmire unwinnable wars. We have taught to the lowest common denominator, we've stifled free thought with indoctrination and we've embraced a party which is openly hostile to the American ideals while cloaked in the American flag. And worst of all we elected a lunatic egomaniac and now he won't leave us alone.

So happy birthday.