Take on Nikki

Spineless Nikki Haley was pretty sad that Trump refused to meet with her, so she decided to go full Lindsey. Of course nobody with half a brain will be fooled by her double talking jive bur the GQP will quickly forget it and embrace/disgrace her when she is running for president in about six months.

She's got to be one of the most loathsome in the bunch since she claimed to have morals.

Time to move on and break up this entire sh!tshow

Take on J&J’s vaccine

With the Johnson & Johnson single shot vaccine approved, it would be a day to rejoice with another option to get as many people vaccinated in as short a period of time and -hopefully- get back to normalcy. But with its 65% efficacy, nobody is dying to get a shot. Yes, it prevents death snd serious Covid conditions but it will quickly feel like a have and have not with which shot you got.

Anyway, get as many shots into as many arms as possible. We need to hit the beach and the ballparks.

Take on the golden calf

They rolled out a golden calf statue at the CPAC today but sadly it wasn't all that golden and just as sacrilegious. But you know there will be thousands of GOP dummies who will worship this thing over the next few days including some of the "leadership"
I'm not sure when it became ok to use the American flag as a pair of underwear but somehow that seems to show less respect for the flag than kneeling for it during the star spangled banner. Also interesting to see golden Trump has slippers like Mrs Roper

Take on the $30 million insurrection

The insurrection will have cost $30million dollars not to mention the police lives lost, the bystanders and first responders hurt and the national embarrassment. But nobody seems to care any more, the GOP wants to pretend it didn't actually occur, the Democrats can never make a convincing argument as they always step all over their own message and today we find out that Mitch the Bitch McConnell will support Trump if he's the nominee in 2024 meaning all he's said the last few weeks was nothing but a little rough-housing before he went down on Trump again

Take on Sloppy Steve

I don't know why the hell is happening to Steve Bannon but it seems like you could see the melanoma growing on his skin. He's always looked patchy and sweaty but lately he's looking more sickly who for a guy who clocks in at two and a half bills, is odd. He's weird looking and I'm sure they are going to use his condition to keep him out of jail, when he should rot there for the rest of his miserable life

Take on the spineless ex Vice President

Nobody has given away more of his soul than Mike Pence.   Pre Trump he was -at least- principled but if there is one thing the last four and a half year years have proven is that Mike Pence will sell everything..his religion, his values, mother, his morals whatever out for a little rate of Trump's ass.   He has nothing left, his entire persona is now just that of a lackey, even after the Trump fueled insurrection where there were chants of "hang Pence"

He deserves every bit of hate thrown his way do the red for his miserable raccoon faced life.  

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Take on the hitchhiker

Trump in his infinite wisdom offered to give Kim Jong Un a hitch back home after a summit in Vietnam. He wasn't offering his crappy Trump plane but was instead thinking that putting Kim on Air Force One was a good idea
The thing about Air Force One, it's very carefully managed, they know exactly how much weight it can take to be able to elude air to ground missiles and if you put 400 pounds of Kim on that plane it will come crashing down like a bad case of kimchee
Not Trump's best idea.

Take on the crazy crypto search

Wirh the word going crazy with GameStop and Bitcoin, we figured it was time to dip out toes into some of the non traditional investment vehicles. Obviously buying a $50,000 Bitcoin is out of the question but when Elon Musk started hyping something called Dogecoin I figured that even if I didn't believe in it, I'm not against riding an artificial wave.
I fire up the old ETrade account but can't find any direct crypto and I'm off to find one of the websites that does handle it. It involves something called a digital wallet and an account on crypto.com, kraken.com or any number of other ones. The issue is you can't just walk up and put $500 on a credit card. They all need verifications like your drivers license, social security card etc. then they need you bank info as you can't just plop it on on your MasterCard even for a fee. I go through a thousand steps with my hesitations and finally set up an account. Problem is they don't offer DogeCoin of whatever the hell Musk is hyping. Now I'm stuck with $500 in an account that doesn't even have the stupid crypto I want. I am not buying BitCoin and the other ones I never heard of.
The entire thing is just insane and the have my goddamn $500

Take on the burning plane

Watching the engine of that United flight to Honolulu catch fire makes me think that maybe never getting on a plane again does sound like a good idea

I looked at my itinerary app today and realize it's been exactly 1 year since last stepped on a plane which for a guy who flies 100,000 miles per year just feels ludicrous. I have an interest in going to places both for work and for pleasure but the idea of an airport, the lines, the security, the delays, the middle seats, the stale pretzels, the crappy bathrooms, the uncomfortable temperature, the burning engines, the Covid in the air etc doesn't at all sound appealing

So I'll wait a few more months, even if right now I have some kind of antibody immunity for 6-7 weeks.

Take on Fake ID’s

A couple of women in their 30's and 40's dresses up like grannies with the hope to jump the line for a Covid vaccine. Nobody was surprised that they got caught because you'd think there is more to this than just putting on a bonnet but what was shocking was they were in line for their second shots, meaning they got away with it the first time

This is kind of like the mid 30ms version of a fake ID

Take on Ted’s giant baggage

Ted Cruz's Cancun trip was cut off short when he was caught vacationing while his state froze.

He was caught flying back today which he claims was something he was planning all along but judging by the size of his suitcase, he certainly was planning on staying for more than overnight

But what is most telling is that gigantic gut he's carrying around. He has that body type which shows absolutely zero muscle tone with no natural bulk except for this gigantic disgusting leg around his waist

Ted, thank you for not taking your shirt off..our Mexican friends have suffered enough and nobody needed to see your interpretation of a beached whale

Take on dead Rush

Today will mark the day they blew up Trump's crappy Atlantic City Hotel which seemed to symbolize the death of Rush Limbaugh. Twitter was filled with stories and justifications for his heinous and noxious behavior with a number of national reporters saying that his shtick was mostly an act. They tried to justify it by saying he was just a caricature and doing it for the money

As if this is a justification for him being a slimy sexist and 30 year public racist. It just tells me he has no morals at all, if he didn't believe it, he just used his position to convince a bunch of morons so that he could get ungodly rich

Anyway, I hate to stomp of the grave of anybody but I can't say I was all that sad when I heard the news today

And he's probably the least deserving Presidential Freedom winners.

Take on the Trump rip of McConnell in lengthy statement

Trump
Has been kicked off of a Twitter for so long, he decided to write a novel and publish it all in one shot. Ok nobody believes he actually wrote that thing and he likely barely comprehends most of it but his letter calling McConnell a four, sullen and unsmiling political hack is a grade A insult, even if you know he didn't write it.
What was left on the cutting floor was Trump insulting Mitch's many china, which I would have appreciated because there really is nothing better than some good old GOP on GOP crime. Let these guys rip each other's hearts out in a cage match...except finding a heart in either of these two guys will be completely impossible.

Take on Lindsey’s newest fling.

Lindsey Graham has got his eye on his next victim. First it was John McCain, then Donald Trump and now it seems he's got his eye on Lara Trump. I have no idea what her qualifications are other than being a generally horrible person but it does beg the question why Lara has such a masculine face. Not only does she look like a frog, she's got a jawline like Bill Cowher. It's like she's built to box because even her cheekbones are weirdly pointy and she has these weird eyebrows which literally dart into her eyes. There is no way she doesn't tie Eric up and then goes to make herself a burger and a BudLite and belches in his face when she comes back.

Take on the homeless stabbing spree

As if this year hasn't been challenging enough. We find out some crazy homeless guy stabbed four people on the A train yesterday, killing two of them. There really is no more scary thought that waiting on the platform when one of these mentally ill homeless people decides that today is your day. This wasn't the first incident this year, there have been something like a dozen crazed homeless attacks in 2021 already.
The city has got to get this under control, stop pretending this is is a housing issue and treat it for the mental health issue it is. We need to open up more mental health hospitals and or be afraid to keep them funded. We aren't talking about your run of the mill flashing, people are getting shoved onto tracks, stabbed and attacked.

Take on the gutless acquittal

It took five days to prove once again that the majority of republicans are gutless worms who couldn't do the right thing if it was literally the only thing they could do.
I doubt any of them deny Trump's involvement, we know Mitch did so after he voted to acquit, which was about a half an hour too late as usual. His entire position landed on a technicality that you can't remove a former president which is interesting as he refused to have the senate trial occur while a Trump was still in office. This is Mitch at his best, every time there is a senate rule, whether real or self baked, Mitch finds the side of it to be a dirtbag snake. He has wielded too much power for too long and show how we have managed to make him the second most powerful person in the country even as he has the personality of a pair of dirty gym socks.

Take on Nikki’s rehab

Team Haley is doing some major character rehabilitation with the hope to whitewash her support of Trump off of her. She's doing her best to distance herself from the last few years and trying to paint herself as someone who stoops up to hum but don't allow her to do that. She's proven to be a sycophant who enabled Trump every step of the way. For a person who has a reputation of telling people what she really feels, she never did that for Trump.

She can say all she wants that Trump, now rotting away in Mar-a-Lago- was wrong for the insurrection but we all know she's only doing so because he yields limited power now. But she still tiptoes around him which proves she's still indebted to him.

Please go away

Take on the conflict of interest

Lindsey, Ted and Mike Lee met with Trump's attorney's to discuss strategy for tomorrow's wrap-up. Having jurors meet with the defense seems to be just a little obscene especially considering they promised to be impartial. But when 15 GOP senators were physically out of the room for large stretches of today's impeachment trial, i doubt there is any chance of conviction.

Take on the trial of the century

The senate impeachment trial against Donald Trump should be an absolute slam dunk but when your coconspirators sit in the jury, it doesn't matter. This entire thing is a sham, there is no chance of a conviction and people taking blow by blow analysis are wasting their time. There will not be 17 Republican defectors, the chances of a conviction was never even a possibility but when you have people like Lindsey, Rand, Ted and Scott who showed up with their minds made up, it tells you all you need to know.
They need to do a secret vote and then take him to federal trial.

Take on the new Aunt Jemima

Pearl Milling Company is the New Coke. Everybody agrees that the Aunt Jemina logo had to go but turning into the Pearl Milling Company is the reason you don't ever hire consultants. They won't make any of their own guarantees but I'm sure the only thing those blood thirsty snakes can guarantee is that Quaker Oats spent $10 million dollars.

There had to be better options out there, either keeping the name and changing the logo to something totally different, embracing and empowering the black woman. Or changing direction and going with anything other than Pearl Milling. Play hommage to the old name, Auntie's syrup snd have a family on the box with matriarch front and center

Take on the recorder.

As if virtual learning isn't hard enough on families between the lack of interaction, the disjointed teaching and the inconsistencies from one class to another, do they decide to punish us even further. Working parents who are trying to keep the lights on are de facto instructors, lunch aides and psychologists. Then they decide to torture us even further when for somebody thought that they should do remote music class and have my 8 year old break out her recorder.
The only reason my neighbors haven't called the cops to report cat abuse is because they are afraid to get anywhere near my house in fear of getting Covid.

I'm going to shove that thing in the toilet and use it as a plunger. Don't care if she fails music

Take on MAGA Brady

As a Jet fan I should hate Tom Brady but I've come to respect him and watching the greatest on the biggest stage win again is something we can say we witnessed.   This is Babe Ruth in his prime, the Russell Celtics, UCLA dominance.    There hasn't been a quarterback who has played the position better than he has in his career, especially if you count success in rings

But where I can't stand Brady is his MAGA affection. You know this guy is a total cult follower and likely supported the insurrection.   He's the most decorated athlete of his era, he's wealthy beyond belief, he's married to a supermodel who is richer than he is and still he has to be a complete MAGA lunatic.    There is nothing funny or clever or cute about being somebody who should know better supporting Trump.   Tax cuts for the wealthy when you and your wife are worth billions really doesn't make a difference.   

So Tom, best NFL player of all time and biggest a-hole to boot. 

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Take on Clarence Thomas’s wacky wife

I've often wondered if there was a person more awful than Clarence Thomas. Not only is he a serial harasser but he hasn't asked a single question in something like 30 years on the bench. I think that alone should disqualifying as it doesn't seem like he has any interest in actually getting to the bottom of an issue.
But enter his wife, who is a QAnon wacko. This is what the conservative movement has come down to, not some difference of opinion on the size of the federal government but instead a complete mistrust of anything normal. And we all know that if Ginni feels this way, she's likely bombarding Clarence with Facebook memes, so he's either in agreement or he doesn't talk at home either. Maybe the guy is dead?

Take on Crazy Lou

Poor Lou Dobbs, not only has he given up any sense of self worth with his complete infatuation with Trump but now that FoxBusiness doesn't need him to keep their favorite viewer entertained, even they realized that he's gone totally bananas. The weird thing is that twenty five years ago, Lou seemed sort of normal. Right of center but not out in some ocean, it's like he's taken that Rudy Giuliani trip directly into the fury of hell.

At least he won't have to put on that terrible toupee every night, that can't be comfortable

Take on MTG

The mistake we are all making, this blog includes, is that we have given The Congresswoman who will remain a nameless any oxygen. She's a first time congresswoman whose entire shtick is she is a QAnnon folksy. It's disgusting that she's a member of Congress but like Trump if you away her voice, she will likely just fade into the night

Let's stop the madness and ignore her..

Take on Gaetz incredible offer

Matt Gaetz has offered to give up his House seat to defend Trump showing that Trump has him so firmly by the balls that even without any actual power, his grip is impressive
I'd like to see Gaetz do it, it would relive us of him as a lawmaker, put another terrible lawyer on the case and hopefully allow him to finally admit that his relationship with the Hester isn't totally kosher

Take on Punxsutawney Phil

There is really no dumber distraction than this Punxsutawney Phil thing they keep doing every year. I never quite understood what the appeal of having a bunch of white guys trying their best to look like Abraham Lincoln with their  top hats and beards   Unlike Honest Abe, these morons aren't exactly trying to ace the Union but they do have an ever important mission to stare at a giant rodent to determine whether it sees it shadow.    This holiday only had one good thing that ever came out of it but the rest of it always seemed lame and even more so this year.  

One thing for sure, since none of these dummies thought wearing a mask was a good idea, I think the one thing we are guaranteed is at least 6 more weeks of Covid

Please end this stupidity. 

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Take on the mutant Anderson Cooper

Lindsey Graham went on FoxNews today to warn democrats to not call witnesses during the impeachment trial because, well, who the hell knows. He also threatened to have the FBI come I and explain to senator what really happened which seems like the mind of thing the Democrats would be happy to oblige.
But what was most striking was that he made this statement to Trey Gowdy who looks like a somewhat mutant Anderson Cooper. Gowdy spent years chasing down Benghazi ghosts but would like to have this chapter closed without so much as a hearing