Take on the straight pride parade

What kind of moron would spend a beautiful end of summer day marching in a Straight Pride parade? I can't imagine going on a crappy day but how terribly miserable is your life and how sexually I see cute are you that you'd spend your time attending something to prove how heterosexual you are. I don't need to stand on a float blasting It's Raining Men to tell the average Joe that I'm straight. I think the fact I'm wearing the same pair of shorts for the third week and pairing it with a Hot Dog Johnny's shirt and $2.99 flip flops from Old Navy probably is a dead give away.
The other thing is that from the stupid floats it just looked like a Trump parade which should give these marchers pause if they ever hope to get laid by a half normal chick again