Take on Bon Mueller’s anger

If I had to come up with the least surprising headline of 2019 it would be that Bob Mueller told Bill Barr that the Barr depiction of his findings failed to capture context, nature and substance.
Anybody who read Barr's assessment knowing he was a convert to the alter of Trump, knew that he was spinning it to protect his grand leader so the fact that Mueller was upset should t be a surprise. It will though -hopefully- force Congress to call Bob in to testify and let us finally get some truth to this.

Take on the Amazon tax rate

I can't say I truly understand corporate taxes but I do know that my company pays them while apparently Delta and Chevron and Amazon avoid paying them. I'm far from a socialist but even I don't understand the justification of this, the idea of taxing corporate profits has been around exactly as long as companies trying to figure out loopholes to get our from underneath paying them.
Time for Bezos to step up and the IRS to start to force him to pay his fair share.

Take on Melania’s birthday

The official White House twitter greed trolled fat Donald with the Happy Birthday @Flotus photo showing her sitting in the couch by herself with a thousand paparazzi around her yet. I sign of her overweight husband. Most likely this is the way she envisioned spending her birthday, being as far from him as possible
So Happy Birthday Melania, we'll always remember guy was a willing accomplice to your miserable husband.

Take on the Judge

I don't really follow the Trump justifiers and yes men but sort of assumed that Judge Andrew Napolitano was part of the devout cult until
I saw his take down of Trump on the Mueller obstruction issue and thought that maybe he is not a horrible human OR more likely he is a horrible human but even still is forced to see
What is a black and white legal argument Anyway, he seems to have pissed off our commander in chief to the point where Trump is using his surrogate, Alan Dershowitz to go after Napolitano and still nobody know any better. We all assume it's fine because Trump is running the show. God help us

Take on Trump’s weird duck stance

Donald Trump spent Friday defending his Charlottesville comments saying they were meant as a defense of the great General Lee......and he wasn't talking about the car
What is troubling is that if there was ever a weak point in his presidency, it revolves around those comments, it's the time he got the most pushback from his supporters and the only time I thought he might have some internal reflection.

But what is more troubling is his weird posture, he looks like a gigantic fat duck the way he stands balancing all his weight all the way to the front. It's like his gigantic ass is used as as an equilibrium for his massive stomach and weird looking face

For a billionaire, he sure dresses like he bought his suits off the discount rack at TJ Maxx

Take O the $2 million dollar payment

I thought we don't pay dictators threatening to get nukes?? It's not long ago that the DerangedDonald told everybody who would listen that the Obama Iran deal was the worst deal in the history of bad deals and today it comes out that Donny traded $2million for zero assurances for anything close to a nuclear deal. Nobody wanted to see Otto Warmbier in that coma but paying a ransom there is probably the mind of example the GOP would have jumped all over had Obama been in power.
We don't agree with any of it, an American is hurt, we should make the effort to get him back even if his situation is caused by his own actions

Take on the tweeter in chief

Trump seems to be losing it having tweeted nearly 100 times since the weekend even while we've had nice golf weather here on the east coast

Yesterday he complained that he had not called Bob Costa but was just returning his call. I'm not quite sure how that proves he didn't call him being that returning a call is by definition calling somebody

But the biggest issue is that maybe Trump thought he was calling Bob Costas

Take on the crazy theories.

Trump "the witch hunt lead by the 28 angry democrats and the highly conflicted Mueller who I didn't like by the way are doing tremendous damage to this country a country which has never been more prosperous and has never done better than with your favorite president at the helm as we make America great again for all people who support us and not the racists liberal fascists who want to see our county destroyed daily along with the help of the enemy of the people fake news lead by people like Anderson Pooper Cooper and Psycho Joe who has treated me very unfairly although he's a known weirdo and he likes to tickle your hand when you shake it which is why I won't"

Kushner "hold my root beer.. the entire Russia thing was two Facebook ads and honestly it's all just a big misunderstanding similar to Khashoggi" 

Kushner equates the Mueller investigation to an act more damaging than the actual election interference and then turned the entire thing into just a couple of Facebook ads.    

TOR- well hold my beer.  We all know that Cambridge Analytics was behind a massive influence campaign, one funded by dark Russian money likely laundered in through NRA funds which was used to do targeted buys in states the Trump campaign would be vulnerable because either they had real insight or because they just needed to make it appear that they were as deeply organized and well funded as any campaign has ever been even if every inside story showed a complete dysfunctional family who couldn't get out of its own way and likely only didn't outwardly collude with Russia because they were too inept to coordinate with them.  

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the most common passwords

A study of hacked passwords reveals the most common ones and they are dumber than you'd think
The most common one is blink182 as it allows dumb people to remember their favorite band. There probably is a perfect Venn diagram for Blink182 fans and people who get their bank accounts broken into, so this is perfect

Liverpool and Manutd were up there also as they show absolutely no originality at all and shows again that although they may sound smarter, Brits can be incredibly stupid and unoriginal. Iloveyou and Cowboys1 are uninspiring as well and you have to feel for Ashley and Michael who should be forced to live in holy matrimony but castrated so they can no procreate.

Good luck and let me know how the Nigerian prince money works out.

Take on the weakest defense

Rudy continues to make a big bowl of matzah ball soup and hoping somebody will ask him for seconds. His defense today was based around the notion that the stolen emails are OK because people had a right to know which is an interesting take to keep in your back pocket if Trump's taxes are ever leaked. Everybody knows that the Trump campaign played footsie with Putin, pulled into
second base standing up, likely stretched it into a triple and nine months later our country was in some crazy postpartum depression.

Take on two fat guys playing golf

Trump and Rush played golf today and they had a combined score of ten over par, six wives, two deferments, three opioid addictions, a dozen bankruptcies, 550 total pounds, a couple of size 40+ waist sizes and a partridge in a pear tree.

This is where we are as a country, our president socializes with complete lunatic pundits and nobody bats an eye and the only thing anybody questions is how many hot dogs they scraped down at the turn.

Take on Trump’s writer’s block

Trump had a twitter thread that took him a Seth Abramson length of time to complete but unlike those, these were only three tweets and took him 9 hours to complete. Trump typically takes an extraordinarily long time time to finish his rambling thoughts but this had to be a record. Maybe he spooked himself with his own curse word or maybe the waffle station at Mar a Lago was offering a two for one but he spent more time on this than he does on most things he does which is a bad and a good thing, I guess

Take on the Barr press conference

I didn't have time to watch the Bill Barr press conference today deciding instead to spend time cleaning my belly button instead of spending an hour having Roseanne's little brother lie to me.

When I did catch up on the news, I came across a photo of his press conference and it looks like Rod Rosenstein is in some kind of Chris Christie hostage situation. The other guy looks like he made a wrong turn coming out of a lumberjack competition and Barr looks like a cross between Mike Francesaand a fat lesbian.
Glad I didn't waste my time with this YMCA remix

Take on the Kraft tape

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Take on Crazy Glenn

There is a different level of stupid when it comes to people who buy into Trump, there is a different level of head in the sand naivety when it comes to people who don't believe in climate change and there is a different level of crazy when it comes to the bizarro creature who pay $8.99 a month to mainline directly into the conscious of Glenn Beck

Today Beck speculated that maybe Islamists were the cause of the Notre Dame fire while offering absolutely no evidence of the sort. His justification that at the end of the day you may never find out is about as convincing as the argument that you'll never know for sure if Bech walks around with a trench coat flashing whipping out his flesh pipe at unsuspecting women.

But good news, you could just not order The Blaze and be free from any of this

Take on Trump Brand

Trump went out on a limb suggesting that the entire Boeing 737 Max planes could be fixed with a simple rebranding. We must give credit to Trump for his ability rebrand any piece of garbage into a completely different piece of garbage be it Trump University, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka or Trump Airlines, so be certainly is speaking from experience
But what is shocking is that as the president of our country, he is suggesting a rebranding expertises instead of demanding Boeing spend night an day to fix the issues wrong with the 737Max planes

Then again when you tell everybody you are just rebranding something, you'd think they'd be smart enough for catch on.

Take on the tax return question

Sarah "Big Huck" Sanders went on the morning shows to say that she didn't think Congress was bright enough to understand the complexity of Trump's tax returns
Of course this is silly as reading our "borrowed vast money from Russians" is pretty obvious to even people who don't have a CPA.

But anyway, we are at the point now that is is not an audit holding it back but the pure complexity. Next they'll tell us that the taxes are written in invisible ink.

Take on the Trump Hump

Trump spent the day between tee shots denying then confirming then denying and finally confirming his plan to release illegal immigrants into sanctuary cities. I can't figure out if he's angry at The NY Times for breaking it or because he thinks they will get credit for his idea but he went after them today basically accusing them of fabricating the entire story and then minutes later confirming it to the world

This is what happens when you leave your immigration policy to Stephen Miller

Take on the sanctuary city debate

Trump's new idea of owning the Lina is to take the asylum seekers and dump them into sanctuary cities probing agin that he's both the Scarecrow and the Tin Man. He's spent his entire political career attacking the less fortunate and he has never once made an attempt to bridge the divide, instead preferring to burn the bridge down and then wiping his gigantic ass with it

Take on Julian Quaid

Julian Assange was arrested today after losing his asylum status at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. Nobody feels all that badly for him as he's been unmasked as a willing conspirer with Russia's intent to interfere with our election. Of course there are some pressing questions

- will the sexual assault allegations in Sweden against Assange take precedence in terms of extradition over the hacking allegations in the US?

- will Scotland Yard force him to shower?

- will any of the investigators be able to break him into revealing how intimately involved the Trump campaign was in terms of the release of the Podesta emails?

- has Randy Quaid already been contacted to play him in the Lifetime movie?

- who will take care of all of his cats?

Take on the Trump taxes

Steve Mnuchin responded to the always and Means committee today requesting the release of Trump's tax filings and nobody was shocked when he refused to do so.
It's been so incredibly obvious that Trump's taxes will reveal that he's not nearly as wealthy as he claims, compromised by a foreign agent or both, so the fact that his appointed Treasury secretary won't release them, is no shock
Although I'd love to see them, I have always wondered two things

- how exactly do tax returns show you anything in terms of Russia. There is nowhere on my taxes where it shows what money I owe and to whom.

- Trump's taxes are likely to show he didn't earn nearly as much as he claims he's worth, but he has always claimed his wealth is tied in his buildings, so it might not exactly give a good view anyway


It will likely show that he gives nothing to charity...other than to his own foundation

Take on whimpy Steve

There really is no more whiny tool than Steve Mnuchin who has spent more time in a middle school locker than anybody this side of Jeb! Today he was in a congressional hearing and tried to mansplain his way out of Maxine Water's committee and she wasn't having any of it. He blamed it on an important meeting which likely meant he needed to run one out in the boys room. He has been one of the most damaging Treasury Secretaries in history but his cuckoldness is how he'll always be remembered by us.

Take on the CNN ClickBait

CNN our together a montage of Trump promises to release his tax returns as if the pure act of calling him out for his bill will have any effect. We have heard him lie, cheat and steal his way to a national election and does nothing but call CNN Fake news, and we're made to believe their investigative reporting is going to goad him into releasing them???? I've been watching Trump for years and if there is one thing he can do is deflect. If there is anybody who thinks they are going to convince him to do anything he doesn't see as advantageous is wasting their time and mine

Beat this loser on Election Day..that's all that can stop him.

Take on departing Krisjen

Trump took Krisjen Nielsen's resignation today which means he's left with three people from the original cast..Kushner, Ivanka and Stephen Miller. His hires the best people shtick has certainly started to grow a bit tired but is most laughable in situations where he's basically turned his cabinet into Menudo.

This was apparently in the works for a while
Although Nielsen earned a reprieve by year gassing migrants a few months ago

Nielsen is a horrible human but with Miller in Trump's ear I can only imagine that whoever replaces her is going to basically be Cruella DeVille.

Take on the thin skinned pres.

Imagine having the most criticized job and pairing it with the thinnest skin. Trump has proven over and over again that the only joke he won't laugh at is one about himself which tells you all you want to know about him. Self deprecation is probably the best characteristic to carry in public life and he has absolutely none of it
He can't possibly be as dumb as he sounds but if he could at least own up to it, he's at least come across as half way human

Take on Stinky Julian

Has there been a person more vile that Julian Assange?? He started his public career as this crusader of truth but has since been exposed as a Kremlin puppet intent on destroying the all around him. But what bother is more is that apparently he hasn't been a very gracious guest of the Ecuadorians. He constantly violates the terms of his asylum by searching the dark web for porn, he has a nasty cat and he supposedly doesn't shower regularly which might be the trifecta of bad house guests. If you now tell me he leaves the seat up it might be time to call for the death penalty

Take on 9-9-9

Trump flirts with dictators, he starts trade wars, he fights with our allies but nothing is as dangerous as his decision to name Herman Cain to the Fed. I have no idea why it takes to be somebody who is qualified to be on the Fed but I'm certain that whatever that qualification is, Herman Cain is NOT it.
The guy's entire campaign was based on some nonsensical economic theory which was basically economic alliteration.

Please god, let Trump come to his senses and end this madness.

Take on the showdown

The showdown of all showdowns is about to go down. The Ways and Means chairman requested that the IRS provide his committee with six years of tax returns for Trump. Trump responded that his taxes from the last ten years are under audit which is odd since the IRS doesn't typically go back that far unless they suspect criminal behavior.

I'm sure we will now see a pull from the committee to have them released while Trump will use the power of his office to prevent them from coming to light and this will be a long drawn out battle

I can't say that I'm surprised that we are where we are with this and I do suspect that we will eventually see them either through congressional order, through some kind of prerequisite for getting into a ballot or, most likely, when they are leaked.

You hear that Putin!!!

Take on Trump’s virus

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Take on The Itch

There really might not be a worse person in this world that Mitch The Itch McConnell. It's not just because he looks like a limp turtle or because he ask obviously sold his soul to the Trump
World but because he can't even figure out how absolutely idiotic he sounds for calling Democrats obstructionists on the federal judge nominations

But then again he's a horrible human and we can only hope he gets squashed like the rodent he is.