Take on John Delaney

John Delaney announces he was dropping out his campaign for the democractic nomination which was met with a universal..."who?"

I was under the impression that all of the marginal candidates -except one being propped up by Putin- had dropped out by now. Big Bill deBlasio is out, the weird yoga lady is gone, that guy from Colorado is out, the dude from Massachusetts is gone. Even some of the real national names like Booker and Harris have dropped out a while ago.

But today's announcement that Delaney is out is a real shocker because he had a real shot to play dealmaker in this thing. His support of tens of people could have swayed one caucus district which may have swayed another and then another and before you know it this guy could have been 46

Or not

Take on the coronavirus

This coronavirus has taken the world by storm.  The death toll is still relatively low but I'm sure as hell not taking a risk and cancelled my trip to a China a few weeks ago.   It's crazy how quickly the panic spreads in these cases because it went from something that infected a few people to global epidemic in like three weeks.  There are entire countries shutting down air travel to China and our state department has now putting China on the same list as Syria, Iran and Afghanistan 

Anyway, I'll be staying away this time. No chicken feet and gizzard for me, no brown cloudy skies or people spitting randomly on the street.  Oh how I'll miss it 

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Take on Trump’s public scolding

You have to give Trump this...he's got some gall. He went on a Twitter tirade this morning attacking John Bolton ripping into his character and saying he couldn't get approved for the UN ambassadorship and was an incompetent fool. He then went on to say that if Bolton had had his druthers we'd be deep into World War VI by now which is comforting to know

This is the guy who Trump hired. I hate John Bolton nut way one thing for him, he's consistent. Everybody knew that Bolton was a lunatic hawk but only Trump was dumb enough to hire him and be shocked that he'd be pushing us towards conflict.

Trump's greatest story is always that he is keeping us safe from the people he brings in. The old adage of keeping your friends close but your enemies closer takes another turn here, in Trump's mind it's bring your enemies in so that you can publicity humiliate them, neuter them and have them beg for forgiveness AKA become Lindseyed. Ted Cruz is a perfect example.


Apparently he's been staying away from criticizing Jeff Sessions recently, can only imagine the two of them at their big kumbaya moment where Sessions will beg forgiveness for being a punching bag

Take on the master debater

Jared Kushner was going to bring peace to the Middle East after Trump told us that he would be the best choice there ever was to negotiate everlasting peace. Sadly, after three years he came back with a peace plan which carves up the West Bank like a piece of Swiss cheese with random tunnels connecting it to Gaza and some weird high technology zone.

Kushner, of course, took offense to the idea the Palestinians wouldn't be accepting his terrible peace plan and said they the White House's Middle East plan is "a great deal" and if Palestinians reject it, "they're going to screw up another opportunity, like they've screwed up every other opportunity that they've ever had in their existence."

Thanks for the info Jared, glad you took an impartial view of this situation.

Take on Mitt’s stand

Mitt Romney's big moment is coming and the world will be watching. It's a chance for him to finally get back at Trump for that miserable groveling he was forced to do when he was interviewing for the Secretary of State job. He apparently has a few GOP senators who will vote with him to call for witnesses and it's been suggested that this is really the beginning of the end for Trump
The GOP can't blackball Bolton from testifying, can they? He's establishment republican, he represents all that they are in their souls. This is their chance to at least stand for something, even if that something is John Bolton bad. But they likely won't and will just leave us with this another 53/47 vote

Take on Thunder John

John Bolton's book might be a best seller when this is all said and done but something tells me that Mitch, Ted, Matt and the pervert wrestling coach will never read if. These guys claim to all love the baby Jesus which they may but when it comes down to it they pray to something else. A shrine built on cheesy gold and stinking of cheap perfume.

But even the establishment can't ignore Bolton the way they ignore Parnas. They have hitched their wagon in Bolton so many times that they have to at least listen here...right?

Take on Liddle

Trump's nicknames are often childish, many times pretty lame although sometimes they are even funny.

They may not be classy, they may not be clever but they are almost alway effective in a way they can damage his opponents politically. He has a certain rhythm with these things. He starts with the nickname and tries it out for a while and just works it into his speeches and twitter feed. They are sometimes so effective that even if you hate Trump names like Crooked Hillary of Shifty Adam Schiff are stuck in your head.

But the one I don't get is Liddle'. What is the point of spelling the word wrong? What is the point of the apostrophe? What is the point of the odd capitalization?

It's just as if he invented his own word and feels like if he can get it into the lexicon, he wins $100

He's a moron

Take on Lev

Lev Parnas is like that guy whose snuck into every Super Bowl for the last fifty years. He has somehow able to find himself in the orbit of every major GOP personality and has a selfie to prove it. He has so many photos that it almost started to look comical but when he released an hour and a half audio tape of Trump basically threatening to take out his own ambassador, something sounded fishy

Lev must be a foreign spy unless he's Gilligan.

Take on the saddest man in America

I feel bad for Tucker Carlson.

I feel bad for him because he always looks so constipated. He spends the entire interview looking like he has to poop and somehow never able to get it out

I feel bad for him because as a kid named Tucker he must have been teamster endlessly

I feel bad for him because when he shows up at the pearly gates, there is no chance he gets in because St Peter will have been able to see though his faux outrage

I feel bad for him because he looks like he has no friends at all

Take on the deal with devil


Chuck Buck Schumer wants no part of a witness swap trading the potentially devastating testimony fromJohn Bolton for the stumbling and humbling testimony of Joe Biden. We aren't huge Joe Biden fans and believe there was something not quite right with Hunter Biden's cushy job but Joe Biden isn't on trial here, the one who is is Donald J. Trump and he has skirted every lawsuit before and will likely skirt this one as well. He pressures witnesses to not come forward, he lies under all circumstances and he has mastered the ability to not have any idea what the hell he's talking about.

Schumer shouldn't give up Biden because there is no legal justification for it and it will only damage the potential democratic nominee but if the Democrats don't start making a more powerful case this one will fall 53-47 like every other vote on this thing so far. And it's not because Schiff isn't doing a masterful job, he is. It's because they have already made their case once and without new evidence these GOP sheep have made their minds up already.

Take on Jeff Bezos cellphone hack

MBS was playing virtual footsies with Jeff Abe's is after the two met each other at some lame billionaire event. They started exchanging WhatsApp messages and before you knew it, the guy running the biggest tech company got hacked by some dude in a robe sending over some malware. Granted MBS isn't just any dude in a robe but the fact that Bezos would leave himself exposed is shocking.

Who else do we know who communicates with MBS over WhatsApp?

Take on Mittens

Mitt Romney has the ability to become a true American hero by standing up against the angry turtle Mitch McConnell and stand for the rule of law and the constitution. Mitt usually makes decent decisions, so have him follow suit here wouldn't be shocking although this would be the first time he'd take a principled stance as an elected official but the time is right. We know we can't count on Susan Collins, so we need a wingman for Lisa Murkowski and old Mitt might just be the man

Take on the chickenshit endorsement

The NY Times made their endorsement and they went half and half.

Granted they took the two likely TOR picks if we were given a progressive and a realistic option but even this editorial board wouldn't take the easy way out. We would make one pick.

This is where these guys need to step up and make a choice, albeit it a difficult one. We ask you to go through the mud of these primaries, vet the candidates and find somebody to love and if you can't, you can't help us.

Take on the owning the libs thing

The Trump administration is proposing changes to school menus to allow for more junk food and less vegetables, the latest moves to own the libs. The argument is Rand Paulian saying that nobody has the right to tell fat kids from Kentucky they should eat some greens or fat kids from Ohio to cut down on the greasy pizza? But mostly this is done to end a program that was started by Michelle Obama which was obvious in that they chose her birthday to announce it. The actis reminiscent of Regan taking down the solar panels. It's not about policy but just about republicans sticking it to their predecessors in a way that gets their base all hot and heavy.. like a fat guy eating cheese nachos in a sauna .

Take on the Trump defense team

The Trump legal team is being rolled out and it's certainly a doozie. It includes Ken Start who was personally offended by every extramarital affair a president ever had until he met..Trump
There's Alan Derhowitz who kept his underwear on the entire time he was being massaged by on of Jeffrey Epstein's victims and likely Trump will add another
It could give been Rudy but he's likely going to be indicted in this thing, maybe it will be Big Chris but Trump is on a strict budget and Double C is hungry

Maybe he will take Johnny Cochran or the Kardashian guy although they may need to Weekend at Bernie's him to do it.

Take on the Kush

Jared Kushner made the cover of Time magazine which will undoubtedly Pisa off his father in law. What we noticed was how weird his body looks, it's like he's got these hips that make him look like he's popped out a couple of kids but his then has this weird kid section. He also has no muscle mass at all, his head which doesn't look particularly large normally look like it's perched upon his body like a bobble head. He also has this weird stance that screams either I just got off a horse or the horse just got out of me

He's such a weird pasty looking dude.

Take on The Mob Hit

Rudy's number one goon spoke with Rachel Maddow tonight and here's to hoping he's Sammy the Bull to Donald's Gotti. We know Trump doesn't write anything down and refuses to use email, people assume it's because he can't read or can't write coherently but we have always believed it's for a much more sinister reason. Trump doesn't ever want to be trapped by his own words and will
never explicitly lay out his business and will use innuendo and double speak. This is a classic mob mentality and Lev was likely just a henchman for the sixth family in New York.
Rudy, the guy who cut his teeth on jailing guys like Lev and Trump is now so embroiled in it that you almost have to think he's been on the take for a lot longer than we think

But as the old adage says...follow the money. We know Rudy is working for free for Trump's personal attorney but to keep up with his lifestyle (and three sets of alimony payments) he needs income and something tells me those are coming in the form of rubles.

Take on the Sopranos White House

Lev Parma's and Robert Hyde had a Sopranos-sequel exchange about US Ambassador Maria Yovanovitch. I'm sure the Trump sycophants will come up with some excuse for this saying they just wanted to order her some Uber Eats but the deeper you dig into these people, the more obvious it becomes we are dealing with a first rate crime family.
I've said for years that the reason Trump doesn't use a computer or write anything down is the same reason John Gotti never did. He always wanted to leave a glimpse between the truth and culpability and dictating it all to somebody allows for that

We need a Sammy the Bull...just wonder who it will be

Take on the lame democratic field

Somehow the Democrats are taking our eye off the ball and instead on focusing on the lies that roll off of Trump's tongue, they are focusing on ways to beat each other to a bloody pulp.
The field which once was like 50 deep is down to a couple of old white guys, a old white chick, a middle aged white chick and a gay white guy..and that weird Tulsi thing
It isn't the most inspiring democratic option but truth be told the democrats run a boring uninspiring candidate about 75% of the time...the problem in that those candidates always lose.

The list of democratic nominees that failed to win the national election is like a whose who of gingivitis patients

Hillary, Kerry, Gore, Dukakis, Mondale

If that was the set for a comedy club you'd take the first lead pencil and shove it in your urethra

Take on concocted reasons to go to war.

When you put a former Ratheon executive in charge of the defense department, don't be shocked when we start lobbing missiles at our enemies.

Mark Esper acts mostly like a Trump sycophant but when he was pressed this morning even he had to admit he hadn't seen any intelligence on an imminent attack on four embassies. Trumpetters will likely say something like "you can't take him at his word, he just exaggerates" which is fine for a crowd size but not for a reason to go to war.
But we are now less than 10 months from the election, the Democrats better get their ducks in a row because it's go time for the good of our country, our people and our world.