Red-Headed Monster

Is it humanly possible for a heterosexual man (or lesbian chick cause TOR has to shout out!!!) to walk down the street, see a red-head and not immediately wonder if the rug matches the drapes..

It's not because red-heads are particularly attractive as they often have that pasty look to 'em but there is something that makes them just so intriguing. The girl could be 18 or 45 and it doesn't matter, cause even an older one is better than nothing. Songs have been written, magazines and webpages devoted, and 'movies' filmed but the holy-grail of chicks might still be proof of the curtain's tint.

See the true Red-Head is like the Loch Ness Monster.. People know of people who claim they saw one in the flesh and there might be a couple of grainy pictures. There are people who have searched high and low and publications devoted to finding proof but nobody has real first hand unequivocal proof of what is going on down there.

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I am a loser

There I said it. I am a total schmuck, I have very little value to the rest of society because I am pathetic and more of less worthless

Not to worry, you don’t have to talk me off the ledge here.. this is just a confession not a cry for help.

After a wonderful long weekend, surrounded by family and friends where I just about avoided all shopping malls or leftovers I woke up on Sunday feeling spry and full on energy. Both my wife and my sister were getting into the Christmas spirit as my wife hummed Christmas carols while I read the Week in Review and my sister was going to chop a tree down with her 1 year old and my Father’s 60th birthday party the night before had been a giant success. I went for a 5 mile run, had an egg and cheese and made myself a hot cup of Joe. Read the New York section of the Times and had a big smile on my face.

Then came 1pm and everything changed. I plopped down on the couch, with the 42” TV on the Giant-Skins game and my laptop planted in front of me. This is the way I spend most Sunday’s watching the NFL action on the TV while fixated on the laptop as I see the scores for our fantasy football league flash across my laptop.

The fantasy week had started early this week, with three games on Thanksgiving. I had a little lead (Romo, MB3 and my crappy ass kicker vs TO and Fitzgerald) but it wasn't very large and I needed all the points I could get

I had been kicking around the idea of benching Matt Forte for Clinton Portis all week and when Portis carried the Sean Taylor flag out as the Redskins dedicated a spot for their fallen teammate in the Ring of Fame I was sure that Portis would come out with an extra step of vengeance. I knew the matchup sucked but Forte was in an equally crappy matchup on the road against the Vikings and I stuck to my new guns and inserted Portis.

By 2pm Portis he had about 10 yards rushing and I threw the remote control, by 3pm he had 12 yards rushing and I kicked the couch, by 4pm he finished with about 22 yards rushing and I bit my inner cheek so hard I thought I had to go to the hospital. All the while the combination of DeAngelo Williams and Colston were ripping up my hopes and dreams as it became blatantly obvious that this would be yet another year that the Silly Putty Sacks would not bring home the D-Cup trophy (which by the way cost the league $500).

But then came the 4pm games and when Jay Cutler started dissecting the Jets defense I bit my tongue, when he threw the first TD I yelled at my wife for being to happy and when he threw his second TD I almost cried.

There I sat: disappointed, angry, sad, beaten and more importantly pathetic. I had yelled at poor Mrs. Righetti just as she started to sing “have a merry merry Christmas, it’s the best time of the year” and I realized that not only was a bad husband but I am reall bad at fantasty football.

An entire off season plus 13 weeks of hard-work and dedication down the toilet.