Take on the most dangerous thing in the world

The most dangerous thing for a nearly 48 year old man is a dishwasher and a sneeze. Today I was doing the dishes at about 6:30am when I felt the beginnings of a sneeze sneaking up. I knew I was in trouble but having already grabbed a few plates, the only thing I could do is hold on for dear life. See my back hasn't felt totally right in a few weeks and even the thought of sneezing while bent over makes my sciatica flare up.
Here I am, with four dishes and the sneeze comes. Immediately my back becomes as tight as a snare drum and it wasn't for massive amounts of alcohol tonight, I'd be hiding in my room

At least I didn't break the dishes.