Take on Ted’s crappy haircut

Ted Cruz has become more despicable the more we've gotten to know him. A decade ago he just seemed like some nerdy moral crusading constitutional scholar but we've since learned that he's neither particularly scholarly and basically morally flaccid. We also found out that he won't defend his wife when she's called ugly, we found out that his kids don't much like him, we found out that his dad may have been on the grassy knoll and we found out that he vacations when his constituents freeze. We also have seen him gain about 65 pounds, grow a beard to try to hide his triple chin and we've seen his openly request to felate a 290 pound orange man.

But what is most bothersome is that he decided to go with some kind of lame dad trying to look like he goes to a Pantera concert haircut. He's already one of the least attractive people in the senate but he has made it now that he will never be invited to one of those orgies Madison keeps talking about