Take on the White House Correspondents Dinner

After a two year hiatus, the White House correspondence dinner returned and Biden attended and took the place by storm. It's not just that he can be funny, it's that unlike the former guy, he's not afraid to laugh at himself.

It's often been said that the roast that
Obama did of Trump at that similar Alfred E Smith white jacket affair got this entire thing started. Let's just hope nobody insults Junior and decides to run after tonight.

Take on BoBo and the Green Giant

I guess the BoBo and MTG live affair is over. Rumor has it that the two of them are fighting over Lauren's husband's tattooed wiener and it's gotten ugly. The two ladies have spent way too much time working on their own brands that they have left all their integrity behind. What a mess.

Take on Laura Ingraham’s mom

Compassionate conservatives are dying off. Whether it's separating families at the border, embracing white nationalists or making their 73 year old mothers work at Denny's.

Laura in her attempt to challenge the college debt forgiveness plan decided to come clean to tell her millions of followers that her mother had to work at a restaurant making barely over minimum wage to pay off Laura's student debt. It's commendable for a parent to dedicate their lives for their kid's education but when your kid is one of the most recognizable cable news characters who is likely worth millions, it seems a bit cold.
This poor lady is pouring lukewarm coffee for a bunch of ungrateful lumps just so she can make sure her own ungrateful lump doesn't have to dig into her fortunes

Take on the Boeing deal

Boeing during the earning call revealed that they were expecting to lose over a billion dollars because of the Trump Air Force One deal. This is another instance where everybody jumps all over Trump but it might be an example of him actually getting the better end of a deal that didn't directly benefit him. Now we don't know what he promised Boeing for the AF1 deal and I'm still expecting it to include a poison pill or something that winds up hurting the US but I'd also not be surprised if Trump got a free plane for himself out of it

That reminds me, is he flying his owl golf and black Trump plane again?

Take on the Boeing deal

Boeing during the earning call revealed that they were expecting to lose over a billion dollars because of the Trump Air Force One deal. This is another instance where everybody jumps all over Trump but it might be an example of him actually getting the better end of a deal that didn't directly benefit him. Now we don't know what he promised Boeing for the AF1 deal and I'm still expecting it to include a poison pill or something that winds up hurting the US but I'd also not be surprised if Trump got a free plane for himself out of it

That reminds me, is he flying his owl golf and black Trump plane again?

Take on the Trump return to Twitter

Susan Collins thinks Trump has learned his lesson and should welcomed back to Twitter with open arms. She's asking Elon to make sure the ex president ia given back the platform he's used to promote himself, criticize everybody else and incite a insurrection.
As a private citizen, I can see the argument for putting him back on the platform but feel like, as usual, he's just going to be further emboldened and even more annoying which I'm not sure I can take. .

Take on the Musk Twitter sale

Elon Musk gets what he wants. He wants to be considered a founder for Tesla and he gets it. He wants Twitter, he buys it. He wants to be married a fifth time, he does it

I don't know what's best for Twitter and I'm all for free speech but hate speech, speech inciting violence and NSFW speech etc will lead to its downfall. Musk usually turns things to gold, even if it takes him three times as long as he promises, so I'm sure investors will be happy but I can't imagine how much leadership he's going to be able to afford here and it not affect his work with Tesla, SpaceX and the Boring Company.

Kid of wish he just stuck to that

Take on the French connection

I hope the French gave the US a roadmap for decency with the decisive victory of Macron over Le Trump. We have been watching from afar but it did show that despite his approval rating aren't great, the French were smart enough not to burn the entire state down just to own Le Libs

Hope we took notice and can send a similar message in November

Take on the lame bleacher creatures

The Yankees beat the Commanders or the Generals or whatever they are called today in some mostly meaningless April game but the story will be the hooligans showering right field with trash as the outfielders were still on the field

The lamest thing about Yankee fans is that they all act like degenerate losers pretending to channel the bleacher creatures except these losers spent $50 to sit on benches and just finished doing the YMCA while eating $8 hotdogs and drinking $6 Dasani.

Real tough guys

Jackasses all of them

Take on the righteous Jenna Ellis

When Jenna Ellis is on the right side of an issue, I start to get nervous. Not because a conservative can't possibly see the bigger picture (see Joe Walsh, Liz Cheney and George Conway) but because we've been so accustomed to the inner circle Trump sycophants circling the wagons.
I do like the civil war that seems to be brewing between the two different factions of the old GOP and i'm hoping the fallout leaves the MAGA crazies for dead so we can get back to normal discourse

It does beg the question as to why we only have two viable political parties in this country as the best thing for all involved would be to have options outside of the one size fits all model we have today.

Take on Disney

I chose the ring week to go to Disney. I decided to take my family during the February break and it was one of the roar experience of my life. The lines were endless, the covid was everywhere and the masks were non existent. Disney is cool but when it's basically the equivalent of watching a baseball game with about 15 minutes of action wrapped around four hours of commercialized boredom, it's just not that fun

But the week to have gone would have been this one because all the MAGA morons decided to boycott the entire place which would have made the entire experience infinitely more enjoyable.
Less red hats, less covid, less bigotry and less lines.

Would have been great

Take on the tanned nutsack

All eyes will be on the Trump-Pier Morgan love fest on a Sunday which is being billed as Ali Frazier 4 but is probably a lot more like that lame NBC show about those two brothers from Seattle.

I know Trump storms out which isn't remarkable as it takes only a sprinkle of truth to set him off but what we're most interested in is why he looks so fat and sweaty. He doesn't seem to be eating any worse than usual, hard to do really, and he's (not) exercising at the same rate he usually does. He somehow has gotten more grotesque looking, like a sweaty tanned swollen nutsack.

Take on the plane mask mandate

Having the enforcement of the mask mandate on planes expire while planes were up in the air was one of the poorest decisions I've ever heard of. Not only is it radically irresponsible, it leaves this thousands of people who may not have otherwise gotten onto said plane, stuck in a potential petri dish at 30,000 feet.
We had the same thing on the bus today but luckily most NJ transit riders either weren't aware of maybe were courtesies enough not to make a gigantic show about something that makes many of their fellow humans really uncomfortable

Take on Alex Jones

There is no bigger piece of dogshit than Alex Jones and his bankruptcy filing today made me smile a bit but also reminded me of how easily these shit bags can get out of paying anything by declaring bankruptcy. He will declare bankruptcy, lose some stuff and have a moment of embarrassment but as his currency will always be marketing himself and as long as he has quacks following him, he will be able to regroup.
I'm sick of those second chances, if you declare bankruptcy, you spend the rest of your miserable life paying it off. I'm sick of this court protection

Take on masks.

Elon Musk needs to update the Twitter's news thing because the glaring headline is about experts saying masks are safe and effective. This is good information and may have been novel about two years ago but at this point this feels like a "man lands on the moon" headline. Even if it's based on new information, I can't imagine this is exactly news.
Anybody who has believed in science just see it as validation and I doubt there is a mask skeptic who reads this thing and says "Jesus, I've been wrong the entire time, I'm going to start wearing my mask."

Take on Tucker

Tucker Carlson's new enterprise is, well, a little homoerotic. I can't quite understand what The End of Men is supposed to be about but there are a ton of topless dudes doing really manly things like milking a cow and drinking egg yolk but the weirdest thing was this dude in the Jesus Christ pose banging a Tesla supercharger.

I'm not quite sure what the message is but I think it's Tucker's coming out video and I'm happy he's found himself

Take on a different type of America

People say that there are now two distinctly different Americas. I'm not sure if it's pure politics or if something else is at play but I draw the line purely at cultural curiosity.


I have never seen a single episode of the Kardashians
I have never seen any of the Fast and the Furious movies yet they have like 10 of them
I never saw Big Bang or Third Rock or Raymond or any of those fifty CSI's

Maybe I'm an anomaly but I honestly don't know who any of this appeals to but somehow those franchises all make millions. It's like there is this secret society of Olive Garden going, CBS watching, Coors lite drinking self loathing trump supporters who keep this all alive.

Take on the Elon Twitter take over.

Elon Musk's hostile takeover of Twitter has gotten him one thing that we all know he was hoping for… a big jump in share price for the 10% he already owns. Obviously there is also the thought he's now own one of the biggest social media products and would only see it as a stepping stone for 24-7 Elon which is about as exciting as 24-7 Trump channel

Take on the dirty 37

Russia imposed sanctions on 398 members of the House which isn't all that relevant other than I basically outing the 37 members of the 435 person congressional body.
The Venn diagram of these 37 and the ones that likely aided in the January 6th insurrection has to be a near perfect circle and without even looking I'm guessing they include Gaetz, Boebert and MTG

Take one the Trump Family Photo

The Trumps decided to take a family photo and it describes their family perfectly. Fist you have Beavis and Butthead looking coked up and spray tanned. Then you have a couple of old bags who are likely Melania's Soviet parents. Behind them a crazy old guy who looks like he is photobombing the entire thing accidentally on his way to the head. Next to him is some random lady who is probably his night nurse. Next to bight nurse lady stands next to an angry soviet spy who looks pissed that the shower curtain she's wearing is making her "sweat like mule". Then comes the Kushner crew ripe off of their $2 billion dollar swindle and then Tiffany with some freeloader who looks like he's grabbing her ass

The question is..Where is Barron??

Take on the Kay-Rod thing.

I caught a few minutes of this KayRod broadcast and wanted to poke both my eyeballs and my eardrums out. ARod in fairness has some interesting perspective but somehow he doesn't actually make it interesting. It's cool to hear him describe falling behind 0-1 but he basically just tips his hat to the great pitchers instead of telling you how grind through a situation like that. Michael Kay on the other hand is just doing this normal play by play thing sitting next to an ex player like he does with David Cone or Paul O'Neil. This isn't Manning Cast for baseball, it's not actually any different than a YES broadcast.

The Manning cast works because Peyton is genuinely engaging. These two are as engaging as a ham and cheese sandwich.

Take out the most trusted news source

Some survey came out which listed the most trusted media organizations and the weather channel won overwhelmingly. What is odd about that is that people will often complain that the weather forecast are never right and that they feel like most of the time they are just guessing. That tells you how little faith they have in our traditional news sources including the most benign ones like PBS. What else was pretty obvious was that most news organizations are seen completely through partisan eyes with the lone exception being The Wall Street Journal which somehow nobody seems to hate or love. The ones with the biggest gap is the one which for years was seen as non partisan but somehow CNN which is even more skewed that Fox F'n News.

Take on Ali Alexander

Ali Alexander has never been a guy you'd trust to so much as take your garbage out while you were on vacation and as one of the most vocal Stop the Steal organizers, it's no surprise that he's one of the ones that will likely ah e the hardest downfall but the one thing we learn again here is never trust a guy who has a first and last name that are alliterate
Chris Christie
Ali Alexander
Kris Kristofferson
Sirhan Sirhan

Take out the crazy orgy lady

When Marsha Blackburn isn't pulling dead birds out of her beehive or babbling incoherently, she's throwing out white power hand signals to make sure her constituents aren't confused as to why she voted against our new Justice. This GOP has so often disappointed us that we are almost immune to their ways but it's not lost on any of us that the entire state of our country rests with the fact that one of the major parties is now completely outwardly racist.

Take on the rabid fox

Even after a rabid fox was caught on US Capitol forums, I'm not convinced it was the most dangerous thing in Washington. Between Marjorie Three Toes and Lauren "my husband likes to expose himself to young girls" Boebert, it's hard to know who wins that race.

Time to get all of these rabid nut bags out of DC

Take on Elon

Elon Musk is an incredible jackass who has become less likable every year he's in the public eye. His latest purchase and subsequent board position for Twitter reaffirms that he will push to bring back Trump and the return of the lunatics who have made the last few years so despicable
I am convinced that Musk bought that 9.2% stake in Twitter not for any financial reasons but just because he could
.

Take on Ted’s crappy haircut

Ted Cruz has become more despicable the more we've gotten to know him. A decade ago he just seemed like some nerdy moral crusading constitutional scholar but we've since learned that he's neither particularly scholarly and basically morally flaccid. We also found out that he won't defend his wife when she's called ugly, we found out that his kids don't much like him, we found out that his dad may have been on the grassy knoll and we found out that he vacations when his constituents freeze. We also have seen him gain about 65 pounds, grow a beard to try to hide his triple chin and we've seen his openly request to felate a 290 pound orange man.

But what is most bothersome is that he decided to go with some kind of lame dad trying to look like he goes to a Pantera concert haircut. He's already one of the least attractive people in the senate but he has made it now that he will never be invited to one of those orgies Madison keeps talking about

Take on the ugly celebrity couple

There is no more unattractive couple than Justin and Hailey Bieber. I'm sure they were something years ago but the fact he looks like a strung out meth head and she looks like a washed up coke head doesn't bode well for their future. They both look like they are at least 15 years older than they actually are and look like they have hit life hard…and life hit back

Take on the least interesting story of the year

There is no more boring story than the 100th hot take on the stupid Will a Smith slap. We've heard every lame angle, ever excuse, every knock and every one apology and honestly I have to say there hasn't been a story that has captivated me less than this thing. Honestly, if Chris Rock doesn't press charges, who gives a crap. They are both immensely wealthy, never need to work another day and if Will Smith is going to get so offended by a stand up comedian joking about his wife's hair, he won't last in Hollywood for a week. Will he kick
Somebody next time they make fun of his big ears

Please just go away

Take on Palin

I guess Washington needs a little more crazy and Mama Crazy just entered the chat room. Sarah Palin will likely win her congressional race because the crazier the congressman or congresswoman the more likely they win.
What's sad is that you know she won't actually put any effort into it, she just in it for the free hot dogs and beer nuts