Take on the worst of the worst

At this point the question is which people in Trump's orbit are not going to be lead off in handcuffs. If Trump is the Titanic, Rudy is the captain, Pompeo and Barr are the deckhands, Ivanka and Jared are the waitstaff, Lindsey is the piano player, McCarthy is the violin player, Kellyanne plays the tuba and Beavis and Butthead are the rodeo clowns

God I hate all of them

Take on Jimbo the Bimbo Jordan

Jim Jordan is a wretched human being for his beliefs, his lack of heart and his dark soul but nothing irks me more than the fact that he wears ridiculously long ties. The guy walks around with his tie dangling between his legs like an elephant trunk and sadly for him it's really only his tie

The only reason he's doing it is because he can't afford to stay at one of Trump's ratty hotels, so instead he's trying to look and dress like Dear Leader

Take on Rudy

As much as I can't wait to see Trump get rolled up, he's such a slippery slimeball that he might figure out a way to get off, even fits a Jerry Ford-Dick Nixon situation.
But the one who we will all really enjoy to see get destroyed by this, is Rudy. What the hell is his roll? How the hell does he have access as somebody who isn't anything other than an unpaid advisor. It's shocking that this guy was American's mayor less than twenty years ago and now he's Russian loving conman. What the hell happened to him?!?

Take on the meddling

People will ask why our president is unconcerned about Russian meddling and most will assume it was because it helped him get elected.   Some will say he's unconcerned because a few Facebook ads are not going to convince anybody of anything but we think the issue is deeper.   It's not just that Trump is a Putin puppet, it's not just that it invites them to do again, it's that it allows for money to flow into the NRA through nefarious channels.    The NRA is now an entirely Russian backed operation and is being used to influence elected officials with their mob like strong arming tactics

Today Trump asked the NRA to fund his impeachment defense, which is essentially asking Putin to fund it in exchange Trump would stop trying any gun legislation which just pushes the divide in the country which is exactly what will gaslight this election back to Putin's puppet

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Take on the any NY Times whistleblower outgoing

Everybody is critiquing Dean Barquet for the Times releasing part of the identity of the whistleblower but This editorial board finds the knowledge that it's a CIA agent incredibly valuable for the credibility of the the story. Nobody with half a brain realizes that you don't need to be a first hand witness to report a crime but had this been the White House butler with second hand info and not somebody trained in rooting out espionage, we might feel differently. Should they have released the info, maybe not but without it the GOP talking points might have carried a lot more weight

Take on the “transcripts”

The White House releases why they said was a transcript but was really a memorandum which was as damming as we imagined and yet Trump and his cronies are trying to spin it to be normal business
What is most shocking to me is that Trump always seems to get himself so in the weeds with this stuff. He's president of the United States yet he's the person who leads the entire exposition of trying to find dirt on Joe Biden. Even Nixon wasn't wearing a black mask at the Watergate hotel, but there is little doubt that Trump would be the one driving the getaway car because he doesn't trust anybody but himself

Let's see the official whistleblower report to see how bad this thing really is

Take on impeachment

Here we go!! It's about time for us to buckle our seatbelts because the next 6-8 months are going to be a wild ride. Trump will get more despondent with every passing day, his anger will know no bounds and his already limited ability to stay calm will fly out the window.
He will go scorched earth and his defense force will come out with guns blazing.

But it will all be worth it when they take him out in handcuffs

Take on the ugliest hat ever

Some dude with a blue check mark made a comment about children of elected officials profiting off of their parents and accompanied it with an article of Ivanka making $4 million off of the Trump hotel in Washington. Obviously the issue of profiting off a hotel which foreign dignitaries visit has its own issues but the bigger issue is the photo which shows her wearing some kind of reverse female yarmulke. It's gotta be one of the ugliest hats I've ever seen

Take on no action Nancy

Do your job Nancy!!

At this point what does Trump have to do to get you to act?!? If you aren't ready to do why you were elected to do, step aside and let somebody take over the leadership because you are either too frightened or are in the bag for something or someone.

Maybe you are afraid it will galvanize his base, guess what?!? His brazen disrespect for the office, of basic decency and of US established law is exiting his base because they see every time he doesn't back down as owning the libs when in fact the one they are owning is you.

Take on Rome

While the president fights off his most troubling acccusation to date, his senior advisors were out galavanting around Rome. This is typical of a Jarred and Ivanka weekend, rubbing elbows the rich and famous while FatMan Trump angry tweets about everything and anything and crazy Rudy goes on national television to have his You're goddamn right I ordered the Code Red moment.

Then she's so damn tone deaf to post it, not caring how it looks

Take on Nancy’s lack of response

Nancy, if not how then when??

Trump is like the high school loser trying pick up Nancy Apelian but she just keeps ignoring him. He's constantly trying to one-up himself but nothing seems to ruffle her feathers. What it means is that he keeps getting way with the equivalent of murder on 5th avenue but instead of it being in mid town Manhattan it's happening on the beltway and affecting the entire world

Step up and do what you have a constitutional responsibility to do or her the heck out of the way

Take on crazy Rudy

Rudy told Chris Cuomo that he can't handle the truth and it was glorious.
Cuomo kept pressing and Rudy kept spinning like a top until he got pushed into such a corner he admitted to something he denied a few minutes earlier. This is Rudy in a nutshell, totally crazy, totally weird and totally on a handful of viagra and there is going to be a couple of hookers in DC who are making some good loot although they will have to shower from smelling like old man

Take on loose lips sink ships

Trump pays women to keep them but he can't keep a secret himself ever. Whether it's revealing spy info to the Israelis or Russians or discussing sensitive border control technology, he always just shoves his big foot into his big mouth

And these are all sort of small issues... what about the fact that this maniac has his grubby little fingers in the codes, guy just know this psycho will one day decide to just see what happens when he pushes a bunch of buttons on the nuclear football

Take on the car crash bandit

People are so sick of Trump they are literally driving their cars into anything with his name on it. I have no idea if this was deliberate but I have to assume it is and the idea of the driver getting out and sitting on a couch after crashing his car is ultimate 2019

My only far is that now the secret service is going to ha r to protect a bunch more of his crappy properties

Take on the Obama book deal

Trump is taking it to his predecessor and inviting people to look at the Obama book deal and Netflix series. I'm not quite sure what this will expose, other than some free publicity for Obama but whenever Trump gets angry like this, there is something about to explode and it's likely going to be ugly
Obama lives rent free in his head and there is just nothing that the great real estate developer can do anything about.

Take on our new middle eastern war

Today was the day that we nominated a new Secretary of War and its MBS.   I have no other idea but Saudi Arabia is not a NATO country but somehow Trump insinuated that we will help them in their neighborhood squabble.  

Now, this type of intervention might be the right decision but making that decision without so much as a cursory call to Congress seems dangerous.   There are wars out there that we must win and others than we can choose to stay clear of but I'm quite sure this is not one we want to parachute into without an exit plan

But then again, foresight has never been a strong point for this president 

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Take on The Stable Genius

Nothing screams stable genius like calling yourself a stable genius and then retweeting your own quote as if somebody else said it

Nobody is more insecure than Donald Trump, he so badly wants to be heralded as one of the greats and almost never does anything to approach that pantheon.

The only question remains is he further from stable or further from a genius because from the angle it's hard to tell

The one thing we can hope for is that it could be only a year and a half left of the stability of intellect

Take on the Yang Bang

We're supposed to love Andrew Yang for his no-tie, slightly to buff Asian bro look and his wild ideas about taxing technology. He's as stiff as a board even as he tries to come across as the ultimate nothing bothers me dude. The chances of him winning are somewhere in the range of never and ever, but he has a contingency of followers who keep pushing him up in the polls just high enough that his head acts as a speed bump for the Harris-Biden-Warren-Bernie express but yesterday he took that speed bump and turned into a business. He's offered to buy the votes of 10 families by gifting them $120k each. Seems like a cheap way to get a lot of twitter followers, so it's sort of brilliant but when they realize he only tweets about comics and the Knicks, they may not be that interested.
Now we're taking politics.

Take on Alyssa Milano and Ted Cruz meeting

TOR favorite Alyssa Milano met with Ted Cruz villain Ted Cruz this last week which Cruz posted on his Facebook page..

this seemed like a good idea for Cruz to show that he wasn't afraid to be confronted by a flaming lefty..even if Milano has a couple of guns herself and the confrontation was not very confrontational.  

what was surprising was that Cruz's media team let them post a video of this douchebag wearing this ridiculously tight bologna skin suit and if that wasn't bad enough, he didn't unbutton his jacket and now looks like he is popping out of it like a fat-chick in a tube-top

Take on the greatest

Jack-
You made us laugh
You made us cry
You showed us your sack
You made us appreciate physical comedy like no one else
Your star was brighter than all, in an ensemble you always owned the show

But the ensemble gave you the avenue to display greatness whether it was Janet, Chrissy, Teri or that weird cousin. The way you played off of Roper and Furley was magic on a small screen and your friendship with Larry D gave every fella hope that friendship is tighter than all.

I can't tell you my favorite episode but it's likely the deep freezer confessional with RF or the one with your twin Tex although the scene with you and Felipe goes down in TV lore.

If you were here I'd have to ask how you didn't lose it on Angelino and how through it all you persevered to start the Bistro showed all your character.

You'd likely admit the Three's a Crowd years left something to be desired, as did The Ropers but when it was just you and Janet and a random blonde in apartment 3, you made magic

Jack, how we wish you just come and knock on our door

Drinking on through a straw tonight in your honor

RIP

Take on The Bolton Brothers

I'm not a big Michael Bolton fan but still probably prefer him to John Bolton. This John Bolton-Donald Trump marriage never seemed to make that much sense, not because Trump wouldn't be able to be convinced to nuke the world Bolton style but because he hates guys who look sloppy

There is just nothing about John Bolton that would appeal to somebody as vain as Trump and the fact their little rendezvous lasted as long as it did, is a shock. I constantly thought Trump would pull a Steinbrenner and make him shave his mustache if he wanted to keep working for him

Take on the de Blasio technology tax

Bill de Blasio wants to tax companies who move to technology to replace employees which sounds like the kind of backwards thinking Trump would give us. He also suggested a federal agency to oversee this new tax. I wonder if he's also going to tax any company who uses excel instead of having some secretary add it up on a calculator or fining a company for using photocopy machine

I hear that this is just a repacked Andy Yang idea, which is odd coming from a Silicon Valley type guy..although maybe he's not Silicon Valley and just a nerdy Asian guy

Take on Trump’s fuel stop

The US Air Force has been landing at an airport near Trump's in Scotland for refueling and staying at his Turnberry resort. This doesn't smell shady at all. This is why we shouldn't elect a guy whose got repeat or hotel or peanut farms and instead we should elect people who aren't complete scoundrels.

But that's just me

Take on twitter diplomacy

Trump went to Twitter to tell the world that he called off his Taliban meeting after an attack in Kabul. It's a fine reason to call it off but why he decided to air it publicly is more than a little problematic. It exposes what would have been a secret meeting between the two factions which only hurts the long term peace process Diplomacy can't be done by tweet, it has to be handled delicately and our president handles it all like a China shop bull.

His mistake is always that his gut tells him he's forged this understanding and relationship with adversaries some of whom have made it their stated goal to destroy America and then acts surprised when they do what people like Kim Jong Un or the Taliban do.

Take on the endless road to impeachment

At this rate we may get an impeachment of Trump by the time Ivanka Trump is serving her third term as president and Eric has finally figured out how to operate those funny smart lights. The house judiciary committee moves at an absolute snail's
pace and that might be being generous. Nobody knows if the impeachment will stick but at this point we are a year away from an election and it may not even get started until well after he loses in a landslide

What the real fear democrats have is that the impeachment will invigorate his base and take away the momentum which the Dem's got after the midterms

At some point very soon in the future, it will be decided that the political risk of impeachment isn't worth the trouble although conventional thinking would be that incumbent president looking for reelection with a big impeachment inquiry hanging over his head has to be a good thing for the opposition party ...but then again nothing this guy does is conventional

Take on another Alabama

Another day and Trump still can't let go of his stupid Alabama fixation. He spent another day trying to build his cone of attack to include Alabama

All the maps he shows seem to look like a giant avocado which is ironic because he has probably never eaten an avocado himself.

Although it does look like a giant penis also and he might have had a few of those in his day.

Take on the sharpie drawn map

Trump is such an amateur, he's the most powerful man in three world but instead of having his team professionally mock up up a full blown map. He instead drew a second head to the penis that looked like the original Dorian trajectory.
So here we are, Trump caught in a stupid misspeak doesn't just admit his mistake but instead doubles down and looks like a bigger Orange fool

Take on Mike Pence’s European vacation

Mike Pence must be worried that Trump is going to kick him off the ticket, so he's shunning common sense, convenience and ethics and staying at Trump's golf course on the other side of Ireland instead on in Dublin. It's not as if Dublin is ant capable to hosting a world leader, they've certainly had a few of those in their day but staying at the Grand Hyatt or the Ritz Carlton wouldn't enrich Papa Bear and Mike Pence always makes sure that Papa Bear is taken care of

It was nice to see him bring both Mother and his mother on the trip, I'm sure they didn't share a room, so that added another couple of bucks to Trump INC.

Good luck Mikey, hope you can sleep well at night knowing you sold all your Christian morals away for this moron, a moron who will drop you for Nikki Haley in about a week.

Take on Trump’s Poland theory

Trump isn't well read and his aides don't seem to give him any help with some minor homework before he comes out to speak. We know he doesn't have any intellectual curiosity but you'd think that the position of president would force him to at least get some CliffNote but apparently he didn't have time for the history of Poland in 1939. He congratulated the country for..being simultaneously invaded by the Nazis and the USSR and being made a pawn in the greater schemes of a couple of mad men.

Thanks Trump.

Take on the Beto Take

People criticize politicians for all sorts of things but when you see them being critiqued for saying gun violence is a fucked up epidemic, it rages me. We have come to a place where our political class is so threatened by the NRA that any discussion about responsibilities related to guns is now untouchable. We are more angry at Beto for saying it's fucked up than we are about the fact that mass murders are now a thing which we can predict.

So Mitch and your mitches, get over yourself, come to the table and act rationally in a way that takes into consideration the fact that you idiots should be working to protect this nation but instead it feels like all you do is carry the water for the gun lobby.