Take on the crazy lunatics protesting Governor Whitmer

A bunch of armed lunatic psychopaths stoned the Michigan statehouse to protest Governor Whitmer's stay at home order and as expected it turned into another example of white privilege. The videos show why looks like some bull-nosed nazi sympathizers screaming into the face of a couple of young officers like an absolute lunatic. The guy can't seem to put three coherent words together which coincidentally matches the amount of teeth he has.

These guys showed up fully armed and ready for battle and because they are white, they were allowed to act up and cause a scene. I don't even have to imagine what would have happened had they been black or Latino or...gasp Muslim


The one thing that is comforting is that you just know we are two weeks away from the headline in the Detroit Gazette that says "man seen screaming at police officers during the stay-at-home protest at the capitol has contracted COVID and has been put on a ventilator".

Take on the boy wonder who actually isn’t all that special

Right after the election, we all hoped that Jared Kushner would bring stability to Team Trump not because he had shown anything of the sort but purely because he seemed like he might have a decent head on his shoulders. As time has gone on, it's become pretty apparent that he's not the smartest out of the Trump brood and in-broods. He's actually not all that bright from every account we have seen of him and all the special projects he's put on end with another whimper. But it's crazy to think that Eric might not be the dumbest one.

Take on no mask Pence

You just know that Trump is not allowing Pence to wear a mask, I can't think of any other reason why he would blatantly ignore the protocols that everybody else has to abide by when walking through the Mayo Clinic

It's either that or there is some secret vaccine that only he and Trump have been able to get. Or there is a survey which says that the uber immunity for those who eat fifty Big Macs in a week

Take on Kim Jong Un’s buddy

Trump when asked about Kim Jong Un's health hd said he has a good idea about it but can't all about it. We of course wanted to see if we could infer anything in that statement but with Trump, he's so full of crap it's impossible. We are guessing that Kim is brain dead and that his sister is running the show which can only be a good thing because at least she doesn't look like she got her hair cut at the Korean Supercuts and then decided to forge herself at McDonald's ever single day of the week.

So I hope he's dead, I hope the North Korean people get freedom and I hope that Dennis Rodman gets all the credit for poisoning him

Take on the Fat President

Trump who would legitimately clock in at 285 pounds if he stood on a scale with both feet is. Is claiming hd sometimes skips lunch because he is tweeting so....working so hard. I don't think there is anybody in their right mind who believes that by the sheer fact that Trump looks like he has put on 30 pounds in the last few years. I have doubts he can see his own winkie when he takes a leak which is why he probably sits while he pees.

He is a fat mess

Take on the nightly news rallies

I guess the ratings have fallen off because it sounds like Trump is done with his nightly news rallies. I for one am happy to not have to hear him get an audience to spew his nonsense and lies and let the Corona task force take over and answer legitimate questions.
I'm also fine with a trump breaking the social distancing rules and spending the next few weeks a Mar-a-Lago. We need less distractions from
The important things going on now and more distractions from the idiotic things

Take on the 100k total

At some point Trump decided that he was going to use the 60,000 dead Americans number as a goal saying his policies was going to decrease it from the 100k projected by some. There is some study out of The University of Washington (Go Huskies) saying their model predicts 68k but I just don't see it

We are now around 51k and still adding thousands per day which means we will rocket past Trump's arbitrary 60,000 number and will be looking straight down the barrel of 100k people. Not sure how Trump will move the goalposts on this but I'm guessing we will be at 100k in the middle of June. Sadly to get there we would be looking at 52 days at less than 1000 people per day which right now doesn't seems likely unless this curve hits a brick wall.

Take on the Trump disinfectant story

It seems that sometimes Trump just starts talking and falls in love with himself and just keep remaking on and on until the wheels fall off. He went from using UV light to dissident a cellphone to suggesting people like start drinking Clorox bleach to clean out their insides. We don't know where he gets this from but we know that some MAGA moron will be rushed to the ER tomorrow for drinking a gallon of bleach while sunbathing in the buff on his roof wearing only a red hat.

Take on the Las Vegas control group

The mayor Las Vegas offered you her residents as a control group with the thought of opening up Sin City's casinos. As much as this sounds like a terrible idea, the thought that this could at all make sense as a control group is even more idiotic. Vegas' entire economy is dependent on tourists. If you open it up, you aren't just putting your people at risk which has its own dubious moral questions, you are inviting the role to swim in your cesspool and then go home to spread it around.
This isn't some rural town in Nebraska, this is the biggest attractions in the country.

Take on living vs dying

The Texas Lieutenant governor came out today saying that there are things more important than living. I guess he was trying to make a point about personal freedom but I'm not sure I'd give up my mother in law so that I can to Applebee's. Then again maybe he is just trying his own version of "death panels" which seemed to be pretty catchy phrase a few years ago but at least in that grotesque exaggeration even they admitted it was doctors making decisions in their fictional world. Now it's some lame lieutenant governor

It does beg the question, what the hell is a lieutenant governor

Take on the death of Kim Jong Un.

Reports out of North Korea are that Kim Jong Un's health is poor after some kind of surgery which we can only hope meant they had to shave that terrible haircut. We aren't ones to joke about the health of others, well that's no entirely true, but if Kim dies because of this, it will be one of the most momentous moments in US Korean history. The first question would be who would succeed him and take over running the country. He doesn't have any grown children and his siblings were overlooked when he took the throne.
This could actually be the nail in the coffin for the entire North Korean regime because without a Kim there really is no authority.

Anyway, Trump would get some credit for being president while this happened which will just go to his head. If this was actually some CIA plot sanctioned by Trump it would probably boost his standing above 50% and would likely lead to another four years

But then again Kim is a fat slob and maybe this was gastrointestinal surgery and when cutting his stomach they found it stuffed with Twinkie's they needed a wet vac to pull them all out.

Take on the lockdown protests

Thousands of people took to streets and to state government buildings to protest the stay at home measures that states have taken to protect t their residents. Nobody likes these quarantines but we are all sacrificing some personal freedom so the death toll doesn't hit 100,000 or more. The argument I had this week was with a guy who bright young the old lame "the flu killed 80,000 people last year" argument. My response was, that was over a 6-8 month period, we have lost 40,000 in 5 weeks AND despite going into full lockdown mode. Had we not done that, we could be looking at 250,000 dead Americans. So you give up your freedom to hang our at a park so that we don't have to bury grandma and grandpa, and mom and dad and cousin Ed and little Betty and the neighbor etc

Seems like a fair trade off

Take on Kayleigh Ann’s numbers

Kayleigh Ann McEnany tried to tout Trump's accomplishments but in typical Trump fashion, she stumbled over herself in trying to pat her boss on the back. She first tried to give Trump credit for gloves, masks and respirators when most people would give credit to the people who actually got those since Trump wasn't exactly picking them up at the airport and paying for them out of pocket. It also reminds us all that he didn't take it seriously early on and lost valuable weeks when he should have been preparing for the storm, instead he reacted to the aftermath of it. You can't take credit for getting them if you don't take blame when we were wildly unprepared in the first place

What was worse was that it was tone deaf. You can brag about gloves and mask and shields but realize that all those numbers will only remind Americans about a more important number...the number of dead Americans.

Take on liberation

Trump's done with the social distancing and is certainly trying to give a voice to the but aha who feel this imposition is trampling their rights. I get that people are done with this thing, I certainly feel that way but what he's trying to do here is to sow discontent. He's also trying to undermine the governors in hose states who are working around the clock to keep their residents safe. Instead of helping them with consistent messaging, he's purposely pushing these people into the streets and using his 2A rhetoric to imply violence.

The results of this will be that a bunch of Trump lovers will either try to buck authority which may or may not be violet but that's fine for Trump. He'll be able to use that messaging like the Cliven Bundy thing to get his people into a frenzy.

Take on Dr Oz.

I'm not exactly sure what he does but Dr. Oz made news today. He seems to have about as much medical knowledge as Dr. Drew and Dr Feelgood tried to make the argument that schools should reopen saying that there might only be a 2-3% mortality rate and that would be a trade off some people would accept. I'm not really sure where to start here other than Dr.Oz might be more instance than The Blizzard of Oz. Listen Ozzy may have bitten the head off of a bat but he never offered to off 1.5 million kids just so that little Johnny could finish preK properly.
Then again, Dr Oz is a Trump apologist which makes him a medically certified moron. I'll take Ozzy over this moron every day of the week and twice on Sunday because Dr. Oz is going to be walking around with Covid just for being a moron while Ozzy should have been dead ten times over and can still bring it like the best of them

Take on Covid-1

Kellyanne Conway went on some weird ramapage against the WHO accusing them of some weird manipulation of the disease because this is COVID-19 and asking what happened to COVID-1. Of course anybody with a brain realizes that the 19 refers to the year it was discovered but somehow Kellyanne, who is incredibly smart, decided to throw some red meat at the morons watching FoxNews by creating some kind of conspiracy.
Nobody knows exactly what Kellyanne will do next but whether it's "alternative facts" of this weird tin-foil theory, she knows how to take the pressure off of the president by acting like a total loon

Take on the Trump signature on the stimulus checks.

Trump so badly wants to take credit for anything good that happens that he's delaying the distribution of the stimulus checks because he wants his name printed on them. We know this is a good political move but it just proves again that he's only in it for himself. Trump can't even fake empathy, he can't muster up a semblance of concern and every misstep he makes get blamed on another
He's the worst president we've had, handing one of the worst crisis we have ever had and taking zero responsibility for anything other than the handing out of money

He sucks and if we are dumb enough to re-elect this criminal, we deserve everything that we will get.

Take on the Council to Re-Open America

Trump announced the council to re-open America which was a whose who of Trump groupies. The list of rich white men and a rich white woman married to one of the rich white men and daughter of another rich white man include Mark Meadows who is dumber than a wheel of cheese, Kushner who was outed as being dumber than the jocks when he went to college, his wife who gave a lap dance to her creepy old man, Mnuchin who always looks like he's purposely wearing ladies underwear that is three sizes too small, Larry Kudlow whose entire career has been defined by being wrong and the two geniuses who brought is the Trump Tarrifs, Wilbur Ross and Robert Lighthizer.

Not one medical expert, not one other type of expert, not one person of color and not one person who you'd trust with a thousand dollars of your money

Good call Trump, at least your stupidity in this crisis is consistent

Take on Kayleigh Ann Conway McEnany

Stephanie Grisham signed off today as Press Secretary having spent months of stealing tax payer money by not having a single press conference. I'm not sure what the "honor of a lifetime" entails but she was somehow less helpful than Sean Spicer who at minimum knew that he was a total fool

She'll be replaced by Kayleigh McEnany who everybody confused for Kellyanne Conway not just for her name or her blond locks but because she seems like a complete dishonest sleaze. I have to imagine Kayleigh lasts only a few months at which point she will announce she's dating Donald Trump jr having had zero press conferences. It is pretty appropriate that her last name basically sounds like My Enemy which is how she will likely test fair but hard questions.

Good luck to our country.

Take on the voter fraud fraud

Donald Trump who votes by mail is on a war path today saying voting by mail increases the risk of crime and voter fraud. Like most things, it is completely unsubstantiated including his assertion that millions bussed into California to vote illegally last time. But this is what he does, he gaslights to turn his crazies onto his side of an issue for no good reason other than to grow discontent. Voter fraud has always been an odd issue as doing it in large volume is near impossible. Going to 20 polling stations to stand in for a person who hasn't voted would only yield somebody 20 votes, if there were bus loads of people doing this it would actually be pretty obvious. If you guess the wrong person, somebody who voted prior in the day, you'd be caught. Or if that person shows up later they would wonder why the had already been checked off as having already voted

But most of it is about blaming brown people and disenfranchising black people, both of which get whites people very excited.

Take on Trump’s reason whey antibiotics aren’t working

It's time for somebody to walk up to Trump and tell him that he's making a complete fool of himself. The more you let this guy talk the more he embarrasses himself. He was complaining today that this new germ was so smart that antibiotics weren't working which is interesting because the coronavirus is a virus which doesn't work against an antibiotic since it's..well a virus

The funny thing is that Trump supporters will laugh at this and say he's just owning the libs because nothing shows owns the opposition like being dead wrong

Take on the presidential press conference ratings

Trump took time out of his day to criticize the Wall Street Journal for not mentioning that his daily press conferences get high ratings comparing them to The Bachelor and Monday Night Football. We are in the worst pandemic our country has faced in decades, we have record numbers of people filing for unemployment, we have an economy being propped up to stop it from collapsing and, oh yeah, we have 15,000 Americans who have died but captain orange thinks the ratings of a presidential address are worth discussing

You'd hope nobody was watching because it would mean there would be no crisis But you are eating this crisis up like a Big Mac because it gives you the one thing you crave....attention.

Take on 100,000 lives

Trump has gone from calling it a hoax to saying there were a dozen cases that would just magically disappear to now saying that if they can keep it under 100,000 deaths they've done an extraordinary task. I can't imagine any other president getting away with this but his supporters are stuck so far up his five hole they can see the charred burgers.

In some bizarre world, they have moved the goal posts so far back that 99,999 people dying is an accomplishment to be heralded. This isn't a stock market index or a GDP number, these are dead Americans.

Wake up America and realize this pandemic has been managed about as well as Nevill Chamberlain sitting down for tea with for some nice conversation about appeasement

Take on Brian Miller

Trump assigned a new inspector general to oversee pandemic recovery and like almost everything a Trump does. It smells like rotten fish.

The funny thing was that the headline of The NY Times article says "Trump's Inspector General has Expresses Dim Views of Congressional Oversight". But I first looked at the photo and glanced at the caption and assumed he had dim views of being overweight, which would have been ironic being that Miller looks like he ate Mike Pence. Alan Rappeport commented that he was a lawyer in the mold of Barr and it wasn't lost on anybody that Miller looks like a fatter slightly less butch lesbian version of Barr

Trump sucks and our country has lost almost all Freiburg

Take on Trump’s investment

As predicted in TOR a day or so ago...Trump
Has a financial stake in the company making Hydroxychloroquine and now the rest of the world sees what we have been seeing for days. The reason captain idiot is pushing fish tank cleaner is because he can personally benefit from it. Sounds like his buddy Rudy has the same investments as he's been the little birdie in Trump's ear on this thing

Can't believe Trump is taking his medical advice from a guy with fake teeth, a bad combover and the worst irritable bowel syndrome this side of Kirstie Alley.

Take on the CoronaTiger (and take on a trump sucking)

We could write a thousand words about the complete waste of time that Trump's press conference was today..but it would just be repeating what we've said for weeks. He touted an unproven drug with the phrase "what do you have to lose?" which coincidentally was the same phrase he told us in 2016 when he was running for office. The answer of course is..a lot

It wouldn't shock us if Trump had stock in the drug company who makes hydroxychloroquine but since we know nothing about his finances, we just don't know
We could go on about the fact he wouldn't let Dr Fauci answer the question about the scientific validity of Trump's claim or we could talk about the word salad he made of the rest of it but it's boring. Trump is just boring

So we will concentrate on the tiger who got the coronavirus. It's a sad story, I guess, and it does make it scary that animals could pass this thing to humans, like for example our dogs could be passing it to other dogs who could pass it to humans. We need to social distance our dogs now too.

But two questions I saw on Twitter struck me

- who put the swab up the tiger's nose?
- how did the Bronx Zoo get a test for a tiger when there are hundreds of thousands of humans waiting for one

Take on spineless Susan Collins

Susan Collins did what Susan Collins always does when there is a situation with Trump. She feigned disappointment and then went on to her business of doing nothing about it. Susan Collins is a special kind of spineless wench mostly because at the end of the day she's lockstep with Trump and her comments about General Atkinson is no different when it will actually count.

She's never actually done anything other than proclaim she's concerned about an action because whenever she's had an opportunity to use the paper of her vote...she's taken the easy way out.

Take on Trump’s nasty

Trump had a meltdown on camera today when he tried to defend Jared's comment about "our stockpile". He flipped out on a reporter who was asking a legit question and finished it with his typical put down calling her question "nasty"

This is our president, he cannot handle a tough question especially if it comes from a woman reporter and decides to try to put her down in his typical derogatory way

So, good luck with your life President, remember the buck stops with you and the guy you out in charge is a spoiled rich kid who just happened to have banged your daughter.

Take on Jared’s next great feat

I guess the opioid crisis is done, we have peace in the Middle East and Ivanka is knocked yo again because it seems Jared Kushner has plenty of time. Trump put his version of a Hunter Biden in charge of some kind of Coronavirus response which Kushy is attacking with the same kind of rigor he's attacked other jobs he's entirely unqualified for. Kushner's entire success is traced to being born to rich parents who greased the tracks for him his entire life. He then married into another set of greased tracks and now is a senior advisor despite having no discernible skill
His quote today "The notion of the federal stockpile was it's supposed to be our stockpile. It's not supposed to be states stockpiles that they then use." will go down as one of the most ludicrous ones from a completely ridiculously stupid administration.

Jared, not sure whose masks they are but if yiu think they belong to the federal government then they belong to us, the citizens. The people you work for

And you sound like a nasal frog

Take on the gamble

According to a Trump advisor, our president gambled that the Coronavirus would dissipate with the warmer weather. He used this to justify pushing back against experts who warned of terrible calamity and instead played a bunch of golf, had some rallies and called it a Hoax.
Trump supporters are trying to rewrite history and I see tons of trolls online now saying that this is ant the time to criticize Trump which is the same crap you hear after a school shooting.
Trump gambled and we lost

Good job hiring a con man to run the most important job in the planet. God help us