take on the gym membership cancellation

A few years ago when a friend had a terrible accident, I volunteered to help consolidate and close a bunch of things in her name including credit cards, payroll stuff, retailer cards, drivers license renewals etc.    It was all pretty straight forward for the most part except when it came to canceling her gym membership which was nearly impossible.    I needed doctor's letters, proof of hospitalization, report of the accident and more... it almost got to the point where I was expecting them to ask me to bring in a body.  
Fast Forward 10 years and off to another gym membership cancellation..my own.   After 7 or 8 years with NYSC, I made the conscious decision earlier this week to cancel my membership after having made the unconscious decision not to use it about 6 months earlier.    It's not that I won't work out, it's just that I hate the treadmill with a passion, I don't ever see myself pumping iron and I find all those machines completely irritating and thus prefer to work out by running on the hard pavement of NYC.  
I call up NYSC and am told that I can only cancel in person which is a complete scam designed to only prolong your membership especially in this case when I did not have a contract which I was going to break.    I'm sure if you throw enough hurdles up, it will dissuade people from canceling just to avoid the nuisance.

Well if having to physically get there wasn't a big enough pain in the ass, they then put the full court press on you.     I walk in and ask to speak to somebody about canceling and the guy at the desk tries to shoo me away by 'warning' me that it's busy and that maybe I should come back later.. now realize it's Wednesday Night at 6:30 the week between Christmas and New Years.. there isn't a soul in the place. 
Finally one of their reps meets me and the conversation goes something like this

Righetti:   I need to cancel my membership
NYSC guy:   sure no problem.. can i ask why
Righetti:    I haven't used the gym in 6 months..preferring to run outside
NYSC guy:   gotcha.   let me just get to a screen
Righetti:   thanks
NYSC guy..   so am I correct to state in this cancellation sheet that you have decided against being healthy
Righetti... well not exactly
NYSC guy..  no problem.. they just need to me to fill something out.. so I guess you are fine to by a lazy slob for the rest of your life
Righetti...  well.
NYSC guy..  gotcha.. I see here you have a family and young child... please sign here stating that you do not have any intention of seeing her grow up
Righetti..  that's not really what I'm saying
NYSC guy.. ok no problem.. we'll just say that you are happy gaining 2 to 3 pounds a year which will mean that you will be 250 pounds by the time you are 65
Righetti.. i'm not quite sure that's what I came in here to say
NYSC guy.. ok just sign here..here...here..and here.. hope your fat fingers can hold the pencil

MLIA