the most effective class..

I’ve always made the point that the most valuable class I’ve ever taken in high-school was typing as it’s the one that every person would eventually use. Typing was so important in our high-school that you couldn’t graduate unless you passed the class and the only way to get around it was if you could convince the administration that you chopped your hand up falling down the stairs carrying a glass or something equally ludicrous. Well the more I think about it, the other class which left the most impact on me was HEALTH.


Now I’m not talking about the part where they told you to not eat too much cake but the part where they scared the living shit out of you about having any kinds of sex. I’m sure this was the goal but by the time I got out of that class I was so frightened to knock up some 15 year old or worse get the High Five from one of them that I’d shit my pants if I was ever asked to take them off. First of all this class which was meant to give you a sexual education was ironically taught by the lesbian in khakis who had less heterosexual experience than anybody in the room. Maybe it was her man-hating persona but she was VERY effective at what she did..

So either I was a total loser (most probable) or my high-school health class was particularly efficient because I just read some headline that said

“115 pregnant girls in one high-school”

Now for a dude who got hardly any chicks in HS and slightly less of them in college, I am a bit flabbergasted. For one, who is having this much of the sex in High School? I remember that not only was I not having sex because I was a dork but also because I had a fear of being laughed at for because I not only carry a small winkie but it looks even smaller when framed by my gigantic sack but more importantly being scared to death by the FLHS health department.

But the more I think about it there were a bunch of total fabrications they would ‘teach’ to scare kids from having sex.


1- You can knock up a chick because there is sperm in pre-cum. This is a total load of shit in most cases. The sperm comes from the testes, it doesn’t hang out in the front of your unit unless you beat-off a few minutes before you tagged some chick.. I think they told you this because they know guys (young and old) have a hard time not spewing without warning and are afraid that you have guys plugging chicks and accidently two-pumping and KABOOOM

2- The Hi FIVE.. Remember I went to HS in the early 90’s when the AIDS scare was at top-peak. Magic Johnson had just gotten it and the guy on the Real-World just announced he had it and it was a horrible scary time. Well I have a buddy who to this day claims that getting HIV is much more difficult to get than most people think. People in high risk groups (intravenous drug users, gay men, dudes who sleep with prostitutes unprotected) have a very good chance but the amount of HS kids getting AIDS he says has always been very very low.. His theory was that they knew that the national media was all over the AIDS epidemic and the HS health-departments used this vehicle to try to discourage teenage sex not to prevent AIDS specifically but to prevent teenage pregnancy.