Take on the weak coffee

I'll never understand somebody requesting a non-bold coffee. This
morning, I was served something with the look and consistency of an
Earl Grey tea and had to restrain myself from throwing the cup back at
the server. I drink coffee for the dark flavor and the caffeine, not
for some poor excuse for water intake.

So, if you want to serve me coffee, make sure it's caffeinated, black
and thick, I'd like to be able to chew my way through it