when I feel that standing in a room with me for some people must be
worse than water-boarding. This week I ran into an old acquaintance,
he is a Korean dude who I know through a buddy. Although he wasn't
born in the US, he is completely assimilated in every way and if it
weren't for the fact he's got a bit of an accent you wouldn't be able
to tell. Now you just also know that between the korean accent he
also sounds like he grew up in the hood so he sounds like a cross
between Kim Jung Il and the Method Man. With thay said he's a great
dude and has a real good heart and I'm genuinely happy up see him
Well the issue is when I run into him at some big department store
with his wife who I'd never met, I make the gross miscalculation that
because his English isn't great, she must be a fob. The major
problem here is that whenever I meet a foreigner, I immediately
without realizing go into this modified version of English where I
leave out as many words as possible, speak in short and very basic
sentences and worst of all use this faux Asian accent
Of course it took me 10 minutes of small talk to realize that his wife
was not only completely normal, very pretty and most importantly in
this context completely fluent. She was born about two towns over
and may never even have been to Korea. When I finally realized that
she was not here on a tourist visa, I try to recover but I am sure it
was too late
As I walk away as I hear her whisper to him 'oh my gawd, what a jerk'
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