Take on the sad Starbucks experience.

Here is a shitty life hack that somebody is employing.

-#1. Get a very common first name
-#2. Walk into a Starbucks
- #3 grab any coffee with that name on it.

I know this isn't new but when you walk into a Starbucks and the drink you ordered and paid for on your app which they say should be ready is not on the counter, you lose all faith in humanity.

Give me back my grande oat milk latte no water cappuccino thing.

Take on the worst war


A week in and we've lost seven service members, we've bombed a girls school, we've caused generational trauma on a region, we've gone into deeper alliance with a war criminal and now we have the son of the Ayatollah taking over from the old Ayatollah. Did we not realize that the old guy was like an indeed years old and probably about to croak and the mantle would've passed to his son which is exactly what happened just on an adderall riddled time frame. But when your great leader is as morally corrupt as he's narcissistic, this is what you get.

Take on the War of Choice

Who old have guessed that starting a war in the Middle East with an OPEC country would have negative effects on the price of gas. When we as a country are rebooting against inflation, why would a war of choice sound like a well thought out strategy
When our young boys and girls are dying, we better have a coherent message to tell their parents because so far it sounds like a Trump decided it was a good idea defense.

Take on the latest plan

The goal in Iran keeps changing from having the people rise up, to finding somebody from the old guard that they could prop up to now and unconditional surrender. We know Trump doesn't plan and isn't detail oriented but I have a bad feeling this isn't going to end very well for anybody.

Take on the Bulletproof Vests and Rolex Watch wearing cosplaying secretary.

When Kristi Noem was fired via tweet, we were just glad she wasn't in the same place as Sexy Rex Tillerson was when he got canned. She's a horrid human and her firing couldn't come quickly enough. The fact she can kill a dog, bang Corey Lewandoswki and cosplay as an official act, makes he entirely unserious and unqualified. So the time for her to go was basically as quickly as it takes me needing to after a 20 ounce coffee.

Take on the lack of a bone

Senate republicans showed again they have no backbone, femur, hip bone or bone bone. They have had opportunities to establish themselves as a coequal branch of government but completely refuse and their impotence is leading to yet another war in the Middle East. Maybe someday they will stop being flaccid losers and start getting themselves up for a battle.

Take on the weird rash

Trump has some weird herpes growth on his neck and the entire world is praying it's fatal. We know we can't be that lucky but whatever this growth is, it's absolutely disgusting and you just know he's got these measles all over his palsy blotchy skin.

Take on shorts in a plane

I'll never understand why somebody decides that flying in shorts in the middle of winter makes sense. I get that you may be going to Florida but that doesn't mean you have to look like you park on the grass in front of your house. Have a little self respect and put on a pair on jeans and suffer like the rest of us when you get to Daytona Beach

Take on OpenAI's deal with the Pentagon

Here is a hot idea, let's turn a nascent technology which has unlimited power and capabilities loose to an unfettered department of war which has not proved to have any morality from the top. Lets then take any guardrails away and let them at it. Now let's guess how this can go wrong and wonder how long before our mechanical overlords take over with their imbedded Nvidia chips.

Take on the war room

When Osama Bin Laden was captured, the photo of Obama showed the gravity of the situation. When we bombed Iran earlier today, Trump hung cheap black plastic curtains while sneaking out for pancakes. I am not sure what the protocol was before Trump but the fact that this is happening in the dining room of a crappy Florida resort tells you how dangerously unserious they all are.

Take on a horrible market moment

The job market sucks, inflation is still very real for goods and services, th general feel of the economy is crap, tariffs are killing this country but somehow the stock market remains ridiculously resilient. I can't believe that we are in a place where we have yo-yo-yo's at the 50k mark for days now. Everyone it climbs, Trump takes credit, if it drops..he blames Biden.

Take o. 32.6 Million people watching the State of the Union

I always believe that the State of the Union ratings are sort of what Pig Vomit would tell Howard. People who love Trump watch for 30. Minutes, people who hate him watch for an hour. We know there is nothing substantive about the event but at this point we need to find ways to keep ourselves a little entertained and what better way than to watch an old man ramble on for nearly two hours.

Take on the TSA Global Entry Pause

Explain to me how pausing Global Entry makes any sense during a government shutdown. This is a service which - by design- is one where there is minimal interaction with an agent. Which is the one thing a shutdown would be least affected by yes you are telling me that with less money and presumably less staff we are going to take people from the kiosk system and instead put them in gigantic queues? Yeah, somebody is playing politics.

Take on the spam political text messages

The Trump speech is not something I'll watch mostly because I have to spend half the time typing End or Stop to hundreds of messages
Listen, I'll happily donate when I'm so inclined but this theory that bombarding me with these messages is only turning me off to your entire movement

Take on the NYC winter wonderland.

There is a certain serenity after a winter storm falls in the suburbs, the white snow covering the lawn, cars and roads while kids giggle as they sled down neighborhood hills. The NYC equivalent 24 hours after a snowstorm are piles of grey mush piled everywhere with lakes of nasty melted slush covering every inch of the street. Garbage bags are piled high and even the rats don't come out to play. I've never claim to have a theory of what they should o but leaving the entire thing unattended certainly is not the answer. Can't wait to be back tomorrow

Take on the killing of ‘El Mencho’

Seeing the cartel kingpin killed was obviously a welcome sign but it does beg the question...why do these honchos have such lame nicknames. We had El Capo a few years ago, now we have El Mencho. I would have thought those dudes would have been named Ratface or Pedro Broken Legs or something similarly sinister. Instead we get the equivalent of Joey Donuts.

Take on the many names for a winter storm.

We all say by the time February or March hits that we are done with winter
But but when looking back over the last dozen years it's kind of a lame statement as we've had a decade of really mild winters. This year is different as between the snow, the ice and the bitter cold, it's actually been really been a rough winter. Now with another Nor'easter on the way, I think the entire country is just done and we all genuinely need a bit of a break. I do wonder if all these names you hear recently, polar vortex, snow bomb, blizzard, Nor'easter are all just ways for Big Meteorology to keep you paying attention because they know we are all sick of just another snow storm.

Take on the Supreme Court ruling

We've been waiting with bated breath for today's Supreme Court ruling which came at a much needed time as running a business when the president changes tariff rates more often than he changes his depends, is impossible. It's also a good sign that for what seems like the first time, a -supposedly- coequal branch of government didn't defer to the executive while simultaneously calling out the legislative branch for derelict of duty. Of course Trump had a temper tantrum and immediately went right back to adding a 10% global tariff which is like taking one step forward and one step back. But what's most frustrating is what Brett Kavanaugh hinted at which was that paying back the illegally collected tariffs was too big of a mess to execute mostly because Trump has already spent all the money on a bender.
It just shows again that Trump get away with murder in the middle of fifth Avenue with nobody so much as looking up.

Take on Texas

Just like how disinterest my kids are with their Christmas presents about 24 hours after Santa came down the chimney, the democrats hope of ever getting a foothold in Texas will be dashed like us has so many times before. We know nothing is going to come of this latest push as it's been made abundantly clear that nobody actually likes Beto while whiny weasel Ted Cruz continue to get statewide support. So don't get my hopes up Texas, we know what to expect.

Take on the airport rebrand.

Of course Donald Trump was going to financially benefit from his pressure campaign to have some lame airport renamed after him. We know that there is nothing this loser won't put his name on, no obvious bride he won't take and no ethical guideline he'll abide by. We also know that he's going to make sure that he sucks every penny out of you while he's doing it. But the weird thing is that they have trademarked the name in part because they plan on selling merch because I know I love walking around town in my EWR hat.

Take on Howie and Donnie.

Howard Lutnick has somehow skated by even after he's found all over the Trump-Epstein files. This is kind of ironic as the entire MAGA movement seemed to have been completely preoccupied with finding Epstein associates before they realized that just as many of their own were embroiled in it as Biden types. Now we have a showdown, will Trump capitulate like the business world has been forced to do, or is he going to thumb his nose once again? I think we know the answer.

Take on the social media fast.

Seven days into my social media cleanse and so far I haven't died. The hardest thing has been the unconscious clicking on the app but once you can get away from that muscle memory, it's doable. I have missed out on dozens of girl soccer videos and cute black lab ones but somehow I'm not a worse person and still breathing

Take on the airport parking lot

I'm sure that if I looked up at every photo I have on my camera roll, it would be 80% the dog, 15% my family and the balance would be photos I've taken at airport parking lots. I often scroll through remembering the amazing parking experiences, the last minute flight changes and the thousands of dollars I've spent in them. What a country.

Take on Steve Tisch.

The Jets have verbally cornered the market shitbag ownership in NYC football market but Steve Tisch is quickly catching up. Woody sucks hard and is a terrible owner but unlike Tisch at least he hasn't been directly tied to Epstein's pedophile ring. Get this dude out of the NFL and somebody run though those fumes with a fine tooth comb and get Bob Kraft out too.

Take on the NFL pardons

For some reason, Trump is taking time out of his busy day to pardon a hunch of ex football players. It's an odd gesture as they were all convicted of various drug charges but because they are famous, Trump figures they should have their records scrubbed. Of course every other black or brown person convicted of similar crimes is rotting away in prison but Travis Henry and Jamal Lewis are getting off.

Take on the Trump deadly blow to EPA’s ability to regulate climate pollution.

We're at a point where it feels like we may as well turn off the lights and at good night because not only has our country reversed course on the biggest threat to our planet's existence, it's made it so no other big polluter (India, China) has any reason at all to abide by it. We are all too happy to ruin our planet one coal powered plant at a time. I guess it's time to get an F150 and burn a bunch of tires in my backyard while leaving the lights on in the kitchen and throwing my aluminum cans right in the trash.

Take on a depraved society

Leaking back to my car last night, I was more than a little surprised that my e tire driver side mirror had been knocked off. I'm not talking a little scrape or even just a broken glass but the entire casing was hanging by a couple of wires. I was the last car to leave the street and there was no sign of anything obvious like skid marks or other damage but one thing was clear, nobody left a note or a phone number. This shows you where we are as society, property damage be damned as long as I don't get caught

So I'm $1000 lighter for that little joke.

Take on the Lutnick three hour tour to Epstein’s Island

Howard Lutnick has always been a total creep, so the fact he's a pathological liar doesn't shock anybody. Going from claiming that he never step foot in the same room after being creeped out to admitting to having vacationed with Epstein on his island is a little rich but sure this is all just some coincidental convenient amnesia. We know he's a pervert and this does nothing to dispel that theory. I think it's time to strip every one of these guys of their titles, positions and fame and burn the entire thing to the ground.

Take on the weather

Crazy to say that when I walked out of work today, it felt downright balmy at 29 degrees. This cold streak has gone on so long, it's almost as if we forgot what not completely freezing feels like and it reminds me of all those years when it's March and everybody says they are soooooo ready for spring when in fact we had one of our typical mild winters. But for three weeks straight did this bitterly coldness makes me think that this is the year we all need a recap of our vitamin D and have these complainers shut their traps.

Take on that Nancy Guthrie lady

Unpopular opinion: I don't really care what happened to Nancy Guthrie. I feel bad for her family but the fact that one old lady's disappearance has become a national story just because she's rich, white and the mom of somebody famous doesn't make this compelling TV. I hope they find her but would rather that we spend time covering the Epstein files, the ICE raids, disastrous economy, our loss in standing internationally or our need to impose regime change.

Take on really spicy food

I'm a guy who likes spicy food but I'm also one who has come to see my limitations and those apparently are the white guy spicy is not Asian food spicy. I tried some 2x spicy ramen tonight and although the top level was hot as heck it was manageable but by the time I got to the broth, I was on absolute fire. There is nothing that would make me give in here expect for the fact my eyeballs were starting to tear up and that's going to be nothing like the pain I'll experience tomorrow morning right when I get home.

Take on the renaming of the transit hubs.


Trump is trying to use the leverage of federal funding to have Penn Station and Dulles Airport named after him in exchange for a release of funds.
Here is an idea, release the funds and we'll name Port Authority after you, we'll throw in the Van Wyck for good measure.

Take on Bitcoin

Many much smarter people than me have said that the entire Bitcoin thing was a house of cards and I never thought it was something I wanted to involved in. I always assumed there would be a giant correction but not sure I saw it dropping to $60k from a higher of about $120k this quickly was even something I saw coming. We know this thing is built on convincing other suckers of its viability but when you stop finding new suckers you look in the mirror and realize that now you are the sucker

The on the pedophile philanthropist

We were all convinced that the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation was doing great work for poor people in poor countries and it probably was. What we didn't realize at the time was that although he was being a great philanthropist, he was also likely a pedophile. I am so sick of having celebrities who wash their sins with donations that have no effect on their day to day living standards.

Take on Susan Collins.

Nobody has gotten more mileage out of being a centrist than that wench Susan Collins. I'm so sick and tired of feeling like she can come to her senses and don't think I can stomach another "very concerning" letter from her. She's full MAGA unless proven otherwise

Take on Punxsutawney Ph

I'm kind of done with that groundhog thing. Not only is it always wrong, it's gotten to the point where I feel like we just keep watching the same thing over again in an endless loop of complete lameness with a bunch of old white guys patting themselves on the back.

Take on the Kennedy center

So how the Kennedy center is in desperate need of renovation right after Trump christened it with his own name. We are sure that it has nothing to do with all the performers who have pulled out of concerts there and it's legitimately about some construction. Of course don't have money for infrastructure, for food for lower income people or for anything else but we have plenty for these vanity projects.

Take on the weirdly crafted emails

What I don't get is why Jeffery Epstein sent emails like a teenager sends texts. Many of his emails end with the sent from iPhone thing but mostly they aren't though out constructed letters but mostly just quick back and forth responses. I can't imagine why he decided this was the method of communication that best met his demands. Maybe he was under the impression that over email he was somehow shielded or whatever he was sending in his text messages was even that much worse.

Take on Trump's sloppy Dump

Trump took a wet sloppy dump while sitting at the Resolute Desk and his entire staff tried to clear the room like it was 2AM at a Boston Bar The group of people behind him were forced to endure the awful stench which is the kind of torture I endorse.
This kind of incontinence really is a perfect ending for him

Take on the confession

Trump's reacting to Rep. Omar getting attacked with some weird spray is just another example of every one of his accusations being a confession. We all know the Butler, PA thing was staged and also know that at some point it will all come out. What we don't know is whether or not somebody was actually supposed to die or they were just an innocent prop. Glad to see nobody ever talks bait that supposed killer anymore.

Take on the Melania movie



Every time I go for dinner with friends they tell me about ten new shows they are watching and five movies they just saw and I wonder where the hell the time goes for me cause I can't find five minutes. So the chances of me watching the Melania movie are not high which I hope is what the rest of the world will choose also. But if they showed some of her earlier movies, that may draw some more attention.

Take on the dog killer

In a normal world, Kristi Noem isn't a cabinet secretary who cosplays as some GI. She is a secretary who blows the boss under his desk which would is a world we'd all sign up for. She's an awful human, who has directed other awful humans to do awful things to the oppressed the weak and the voiceless. What the GOP won't understand is that there will be a day after Trump, a day when we will be forced to reckon with what this administration has done. Where the blood in the streets will be the blood on their hands and those of us who have stood clear on this since day one will not forget those who have played along. I hope Noem gets impeached although I'm sure she will run and hide before that ever happens but her ouster is any enough. The other they need to go after for real is the Nazi linchpin, Stephen Miller.

The on the proper driveway snow removal.

I had one of those aha moments today while outside for the fifth time in two days breaking my back. When I pile snow out of my driveway, all the snow needs to pile up on the left side of the driveway when looking at the house. By putting it to the right side (while looking at the house) I'm only asking for that same snow to get shoved back into my driveway when. The snowplow comes barreling back down the street which is both infuriating and exhausting. So now the snowplow pushes all of my shoveled snow into my neighbors driveway.

Only took me 50 years

Take on the secret ‘discombobulator’ m

Trump told the NY Post that the military used a discombobulator during the capture of Maduro after admitting he probably shouldn't tell them that. The best thing is that it doesn't sound like this machine actually exists and that he's convoluting various items within the arsenal together. What in sure of is that nobody in the military hierarchy wants Trump spewing their secret attack modes which only makes any future mission that more likely to be a flop.

Take on the 2A guys vs Trump

He 2A crowd is doing mental gymnastics tying to justify the killing of yet another person by these ICE thugs. For years we've been told that we should be allowed to carry guns to protect us from
a tyrannical government hell bent on taking way our rights...which seems like we are facing today. And here you have Trumpty Dumpty saying only criminals would be carrying a gun in the streets. Hard to play both sides of this argument NRA

Take on the fees for ApplePay

And just like that ApplePay like everything else went to hell. I know that there is a lot of opportunity to make money but ApplePay was always an amazing money transfer option specifically between family members but like anything else, Apple wants to use it to add to their bloated coffers. I'm not arguing if they could do it or even if they should do it but just saying they will continue to take and take and take until at some point we all break.

Take on the storm of the century.

It's that time again when Big Grocery convinces us all to buy extra water and extra peanut butter by scaring us about some pending storm. I know there are chances it can be big but I'm guessing it's going to be much like Trump's policy...a gigantic TACO.

Take on an (un)happy marriage.

Tabloid are saying that Melania after her awful Hollywood debut has moved into Mar-a-Lago but not actually living with the walking orange diaper. This is the least shocking thing I can think of although it may mean she broke up with the boyfriend living in Trump Tower which comes as a shock to nobody. I do hope Trump catches her with the pool boy who is probably there in an overstayed travel visa just to see him blow a gasket.

Take on Trump's plans problems.

When Air Force one has to return because of a small electrical fire, I get a bit nervous. Not because I feel particularly scared for Trump but mostly because if something were to happen, half the country would just blame the libs. It's time to start playing our cards tougher and when something does happen, we can be ready with a real answer.

Take on the war with Norway .

We are truly living in a world of stupidity. I caught a glimpse of a letter Trump sent to Norway and honestly it might be AI as it's so imbecilic. This is the I'm packing up my toys and leaving the playground level lameness because he dint get his stupid Nobel Prize. I'm not sure what the idea is for our future but I'm sure that soaring with our allies isn't what anybody voted for, well anybody who had their eyes open.