Take on the winter storm

You have got to be kidding me. I'm driving home tonight and am met with a bunch of winter storm watch signs. I've had enough of this winter, we had 70 degree weather this week and now I'm back to looking for my winter coat?? This is a cruel April joke.

Sent from my iPhone

take on the legal tag to make sure we didn't think the trump post was real

A week ago, the controversy of the day was the TruthSocial post of Trump in his Jesus pose. It's obviously blasphemous but as expected the religious right proved again to have no actually standing in their righteousness. But looking back on the CNN post, I noticed the "apparently AI generated image" tag on the post. The article -and common sense- obviously isn't enough that we have to be told this isn't actually a real image I get the fine print in legal paperwork or even waivers at a bounce house but how litigious have we become that something this obviously fake has legal requiring this. What's next, are we going to put a "not an actual mouse" whenever we watch a Disney movie??

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Gray's recession special

I walked into the 72nd street Gray Papayas to relive some of the best meals of my youth. There was still a line of people, they were still working on 100 Sabrett's dogs at a time and they sell a bunch of odd island juice, so all intents and purposes, I was back in 1994. It was all very familiar except for the price. Long gone was the recession special, now replaced with the mega deal which was three dogs and a papaya juice for like $13.50. The taste was as amazing as I remembered, the papaya juice is basically just sugar and the hit to my wallet was typical NYC. Come on Mamdani, do something about this pricing travesty.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the low price of gas

Only Trump would be able to get away with saying gas prices aren't very high after it cost me $55 to fill up. We know that telling the truth is not one of his strong points but at this point, we may have to wonder when his MAGA base will see him for the out of touch geriatric he is.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the S&P and Nasdaq hitting record highs

There is no bigger financial manipulation than what happens to the stock market after every disruption. I'm so sick of looking at the market make its wild swings on the back of the word of a guy who is barely lucid. He speaks out of both sides of his mouth and we hang on his every word like there is a kernel of truth to any of it.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the loudmouth

There is nothing worse than sitting on a bus for over an hour and having some douchbag legs as open as a Dunkin' talking so loudly he's practically screaming on the phone about the big hedge he has against the price of corn or something. I look at this dude and think not only are you wearing those kinds of sneakers which are supposed to look like shoes but you are riding the NJT bus, nobody here thinks you are some high roller.

Sent from my iPhone

The on the Jesus Christ pose

Some days he's a warrior, other days a fighter pilot and yet other days he's a solider but nobody seems to shrug when he posts those images online but I will say that the religious right is completely spineless if they let Trump get away with posting AI photos of him as Jesus. I don't care about religion and mostly find it all a complete sham but if this is what you devote yourself to, you can't also allow Trump to urinate all over it with his AI slop. You can't be both a supporter of this and somebody who holds JC in the highest of regards.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the double mixed Strait.

I took the weekend off of the news but when I checked in it seems we decided that if Iran isn't going to open the strait, we will close it. Funny thing is that maybe closing something that is closed might be like double locking it which will drive oil prices even higher and make the economy less stable which you'd think any president would avoid. But when your present has both the complexion and the IQ of a tangerine, all rules are out.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on PA

Nothing quite gets you ready for Pennsylvania . The people are nice enough, we don't much like their sports team and they do have some beautiful spots but when you look around you realize that everybody looks like they are being chocked by a neck tattoo. The level of white trash is partially high in the region but the fact that nobody wears anything resembling a coverup and just lets their rolls loose is empowering. And disgusting.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the CNN Artemis II

I was all in to watch the Artemis II return today but don't think I was quite ready for the wall to wall coverage on CNN. They ran out of anything interesting to talk about after 15 minutes and just drones on and on about the heat shield and the angle of the entry point. They interviewed the brother in law of the captain who was as bland as that sounds and the spent an hour with a toy replica which kept breaking. And then, right when we were about to get our big climax, they kicked Erin Burnett off and moved in Anderson Cooper who may as well have been finished g the play by play of a funeral.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the next Nobel Peace award winner

I can't wait for the Nobel peace prize to be awarded next year and it going to Shehbaz Sharif for brokering peace between the USA and Iran. The beautiful irony of that is going to absolutely kill the orangutan and will likely get him to threaten to drop a nuke on Pakistan but for those first few minutes, his seething anger is going to be glorious. Sent from my iPhone

Take on the aftermath of the taco I had on Tuesday.

  I wake up every morning at 5AM, throw on my running shoes, a hoodie, a hat, gloves and my blinking vest and hit the streets of my suburban town to run. It's not easy to get up most mornings we make it through but this morning was particularly difficult as the salmon tacos I had last night were not negotiating in good faith with my stomach and I was about to get screwed I make sure I'm well emptied before I head to the street as I don't want any problems, or so I hoped. My left ankle is achy and my left knee hasn't been right since I stepped into a pothole during a run a few weeks back but neither are quite as troubling as my stomach which by mile 3 is has gone from 60% enrichment to 90% fuel. The issue is that I'm not even half way done and I'm not off on some dessert or under a giant mountain and anybody with a knowledge of suburban sprawl will tell you there are very few places to hide. Plus this is my own neighborhood where I know most everybody and dropping a ballistic missile without letting your friends know would be more than a bit wrong. But I luck out, as I'm feeling like I'm going to absolutely boil over, I see an off ramp in the form of a porta potty at a construction site right next to a friend's house. With no time to waste and in the pitch dark I am met with blessed luck as there is no lock on the door, so I run in drop onto the seat snd pray to the good lord as the fury the likes nobody has ever seen before took shape. The sounds from that porta potty was akin to the howls of innocent women and children being slaughtered. I'm sure there will be an international inspectors checking out that nuclear site from now on but I'm just happy we didn't accidentally start WWIII. Sent from my iPhone

Take on Taco Tuesday

We knew it would happen, we knew he couldn't resist being a total jackass. It's time for the cabinet to do their job and invoke their ability to oust him or to get congress to do theirs. We're trying to not get worked up on this TACO crap but also when people's lives are at stake, we can't stay silent. But mostly this incident proves he's just a gigantic impotent flaccid loser who is now just stuck trying to outdo himself and nobody even cares anymore. Put him out to pasture and let's get back to business of governance and stop this fun little game of letting grandpa near the fireplace

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the skinny drug.

It seems like half the world is on some kind of weight loss drug and now that they are in pill form, I suspect the other half will follow. I'm all for living the healthiest lifestyle but am getting nervous that with every celebrity on them now, there aren't any really people left for our kids to look up to. We've gone to a place where we aren't representing who we are as a society and are now just a saggy faced, flaccid body having? miserable looking culture devoid of any emotion. Those Charles Barkley commercials make him look like a muscle less sack of potatoes. It's like he looks less healthy being less heavy. This is winning.

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Hampton Inn housekeeping policy

I don't ask for much but I do feel like it's should not be too much to ask my hotel to make my bed. One of the reasons I prefer a hotel to and Air B&B is because I don't want it to feel like home where I make my own breakfast, make my own bed and brew my own coffee but this new housekeeping policy basically makes me feel like I've paid $160 to sleep at my own house.

Take on the Artemis photo

Artemis II sends back a photo of earth and they compared it to the photo taken in 1972 and honestly, the one that is older than me looks better. I'm not sure what they were proving but i will say that considering all of the technological advancements we've made, apparently long exposure photography isn't one of them.

Take on Tiger

Our president takes phone calls from over the hill golfers -and generally miserable human beings. When they flip their cars while driving while hammered. This is the president we deserve, one who is easily corrupted by fame that he's take time out of that day to some repeat drunk driver for yet another example of how not to drive a car.

Take on going back to the moon

When you ask why we are making a big deal about this moon thing, realize that it IS a big thing if you come to grips with the fact that when this was happening nearly six decades ago, it was happening in a sound stage. We were in a life of death battle with the communists and we just had to one up them after Sputnik and if you believe the entire Neal Armstrong thing was what it was then let me tell you about the Easter Bunny.

Take on replacing my running shoes

As an avid runner who runs about 1700 miles per year, I know the importance of great running shoes but often confused as to when I should change them. All the data says they should be changed around 300-500 miles which is crazy when that means you could be replacing them in two months. I'm not sure what the right number is but I'm convinced the 300-500 number is just what Big Sneakers want us to believe which at $150 for a pair of sneakers is totally ludicrous.
So here is my rule of thumb. You run till you can feel the bounce in the shoe or the traction is worn out or you've stepped in dog shit that you can't get out. Whichever comes first.

Take on the restricted vehicle

I'm not quite sure what a restricted vehicle is but apparently when you try to cross the GWB, a big electronic sign calls you out like you are wearing a scarlet letter. It instructs you to pull over and get railed for more than the $20 toll and I'm sure they pull you over after the toll booths.

Take on a dilute of technology

We can put a man on the moon (allegedly), we can bomb the living hell out of a sovereign nation and we can use AI to basically take over our entire life but to this day I still have fifty iPhone cords that are totally frayed. I don't understand why it is so impossible to design a cord that doesn't look like the string in a hoodie after a week. We have to be better than that, right?

The on the rat

Can somebody explain this new Apple/At&T ad to me? It's some far white mouse eating a carrot and he somehow turns into an iPhone which doesn't make me want to buy a new iPhone or eat a carrot. I'm no marketing expert but imagine that associating your premier product with a giant rat isn't a way to increase your customer base

Take on the awful life choices

It's Saturday night at 7pm and while my friends are watching college basketball, drinking with friends or camping, I'm sitting at a completely dead bounce house pumping in awful techno versions of songs that already sucked. I am not holding anybody responsible for this other than myself but at this point I am questioning every decision I've ever made.

Take on the stock photo

I've walkways wondered if the photos they post in CNBC after the markets close are just stock photos labeled "worried trader" or "reaction to big swing by fat investor guy". I have no idea but it seems crazy that there's a guy walking around taking live action shots of these dudes running their algorithms to try to short the market.

Take on Borg

When I was in high school we would rob my friend's dad's liquor cabinet and end up drinking a bottle of Chivas. The stuff tasted like horsepiss but at least you felt like you grew hair on your balls. What kids are drinking now might be worse

I found a bottle of green goo in a gallon container that was some concoction of vodka, Gatorade and seltzer. I can't imagine that this thing tasted any better than Chivas but I'm also sure it's got a bunch of Red40 and Blue20 in it so my ADHD would kick into hyperdrive

Take on the near fatal crash

I'm walking down 38th street today buried in my phone when all of a sudden I almost have a bone collision with a delivery guy riding a bike. I was startled by the entire thing but mostly when he proceeded to scream at me "what where you're going ahole". Now I fully admit I was distracted by my phone but what the heck. We do have a million miles of bike lanes not to mention normal streets but this dude acts like he's some 12 year old riding around the block on a weekend. Like it's my fault that I'm not watching out for some dude on a bike in a pedestrian walkway.

Take on the horrible bus commute

The commute from the Jersey suburbs into Manhattan is starting to feel like pre covid levels of misery. It wasn't too long ago when it felt like th commute albeit still sucky, was manageable but now the commute mid week is routinely one a a half hours with most of it my bus having it's nose dug right into the ass crack of the next bus like an elephant circle. I'm so ready to retire cause commuting 3 hours a day is slowly killing me

Take on the LaGuardia tragedy

The tragedy at LaGuardia seems like the kind of human error which appears to have been entirely preventable. We know that accidents happen but at this point with what we should have at our disposals, this doesn't seem like it should happen.

But what was almost laughable was that the investigation was delayed when one of the investigators was stuck in a long TSA line. The fact that this guy doesn't have PreCheck or Clear is ludicrous and the fact that some dude made him take his shoes off and make sure his handcream wasn't over 6 ounces makes me want to scream.

Take on the Dunkin Line

I stood in line at Dunkin this morning at an old school non drive through. There were about 4 people in line so I assumed it would be a few minutes. The issues was that every 30 seconds a bell would go off which I learned to mean was a mobile order. So although we are literally standing in the store, the guy working behind the counter is prioritizing the mobile orders while we stand there. He's going line person, mobile order, line person, mobile order The issue is that the average person walking into Dunkin is looking for a single coffee but these mobile orders are usually like four sandwiches and four complicated drinks.

Never again

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Banksy unmasking

I'm not sure why the scoop to unmask Bansky was so important but I like life to have some mystery. I get feeling like we have a right to know what our government is up-to or what corporations are paying off what agencies as they pollute our rivers but this was a secret I was good with. I'd like to go back to a more simple time where our presidents didn't get us into forever foreign wars and the Jets didn't suck.

Take on the noodle craze

Something happened to microwavable prepackaged ramen since I last tired them during my college days. The "ramen" options in my supermarket are nuts with noodles and flavors from Korea, Thailand, India, Vietnam and China which is great. I'm sure the sodium levels are through the roof but for a cheap quick option, it can't be beat. What is the most shocking though is that not only do you get a meal for like $2, they also come with these K-pop trading cards. It's like the opposite of a pack of baseball cards where you got a stale stick of gum, here you get a Polaroid of some korean dude in a pack of stale noodles.

Take on $200billion

Whiskey Pete is asking for $200,000,000,000 for this war in Iran which is odd as Trump already told us the short term gas price hike was necessary to destroy Iran. I don't quite understand how an America First policy could possibly involve spending $200 billion dollars on a war against a country who didn't pose an actual threat. But I'm sure the MAGA faithful will come up with some excuse.

Take on the TSA backlog

We're another week into TSA workers not being paid and once again Americans are paying the price. We know that the only way to get attention is to cause a stir and that stir whether it's a walkout or a shutdown hurts the people who depend on it. But when it's the only way to get the attention of those who are weaponizing the CBP and ICE, I guess this is what we have to deal with.

Take on flu b test positive test.

I'm going on a couple of years of staying virus feee but today got smacked with Flu B. It has run through my house and although we've been back to isolations and being masked up like it's 2020 but it wasn't enough as this sucker must have snuck under the door or something.
I will say these three in one tests for Covid, Flu A and Flu B are one of the few good things that have come out recently

Take on cruelty

The cruelty is unmatched when it comes to this administration. We have seen it break up families, we've seen it deport people here legally, we've seen them kill Americans and we've seen them slash USAID. Now we found out that they are holding HIV medication hostage unless Zambia gives up minerals, we've come to the point of no return. I'm all for making sure we get a fair shake but not when it's at the expense of children, which this will be.

We will never recover from this administration.

Take on the cost of war.

This warning Iran is hitting home with my fillip of regular costing me nearly $65 today. This should last me through the end of the week if I'm lucky but the idea of spending $250+ per month on gas for a single car just feels insane for a conflict of choice.

Take on the knee

Three days ago, I stepped in a pothole while running and hyperextended my knee. I've been mostly pain free in my running journey but this injury absolutely sucks. It's likely a rest and ice injury but when I'm sitting around all day doing nothing, the guilt of not exercising is awful but mostly because I feel guilty about drinking beers.

Take on the pay kiosk thing in a takeout restaurant

I knew there was a reason I hated those stupid kiosks where you pay for pickup food. I assumed it was because there was this unneeded pressure to tip for somebody giving you a bagel or a ringing up a bottle of water but speaking to a guy working in a midtown takeout restaurant today, as I went to check out he quickly pushed the "no tip" for me as I was checking out. I was perplexed and told him I was going to add a dollar or so and he said "please don't, the boss takes that money and we don't get any of it". This greedy crap tells you again how corrupt the system is towards the worker.

So drop a single in the tip cup, don't ever tip on that rat kiosk.

Take on the salad bar

There really is nothing less appetizing than walking into a place that has a salad bar while doubling as a sauna. I love the variety but don't love the guaranteed diarrhea that come with the $14.99/pound price tag. We need Mamdani do start bashing some heads and force these places to turn on a fan.

Take on gas prices.

I spent $60 filling up this week and when I saw the total I almost had a heart attack. Obviously there was going to be an economic fallout from Iran but this one hit pretty damn quickly. It's not that $60 is unheard of but usually it sort of comes at you slowly while this one was like a drop kick to my groin. I guess we will be dealing with this for a while and it wouldn't shock me if we are at around $4 gallon soon.

Take on Liquid Dwath

I'm a huge fan of seltzer water, drinking easily 50 ounces per day but honestly I've found I'm just as happy with the store brand no name options as anything else. Pelegrino doesn't have enough carbonation, other ones think that there can't be enough while the Stop and Shop one is just right.

But what gets me is this new trend of artisanal seltzer which is just ludicrous, like dude it's water with carbonation, there is nothing to it and that's ok but somehow we are being swindled into paying $4 a can for water. But nothing is worse than the liquid diarrhea they market aa Liquid Death. Not only is it ungodly expensive but it's basically carbonated urine.

Take on the sad Starbucks experience.

Here is a shitty life hack that somebody is employing.

-#1. Get a very common first name
-#2. Walk into a Starbucks
- #3 grab any coffee with that name on it.

I know this isn't new but when you walk into a Starbucks and the drink you ordered and paid for on your app which they say should be ready is not on the counter, you lose all faith in humanity.

Give me back my grande oat milk latte no water cappuccino thing.

Take on the worst war


A week in and we've lost seven service members, we've bombed a girls school, we've caused generational trauma on a region, we've gone into deeper alliance with a war criminal and now we have the son of the Ayatollah taking over from the old Ayatollah. Did we not realize that the old guy was like an indeed years old and probably about to croak and the mantle would've passed to his son which is exactly what happened just on an adderall riddled time frame. But when your great leader is as morally corrupt as he's narcissistic, this is what you get.

Take on the War of Choice

Who old have guessed that starting a war in the Middle East with an OPEC country would have negative effects on the price of gas. When we as a country are rebooting against inflation, why would a war of choice sound like a well thought out strategy
When our young boys and girls are dying, we better have a coherent message to tell their parents because so far it sounds like a Trump decided it was a good idea defense.

Take on the latest plan

The goal in Iran keeps changing from having the people rise up, to finding somebody from the old guard that they could prop up to now and unconditional surrender. We know Trump doesn't plan and isn't detail oriented but I have a bad feeling this isn't going to end very well for anybody.

Take on the Bulletproof Vests and Rolex Watch wearing cosplaying secretary.

When Kristi Noem was fired via tweet, we were just glad she wasn't in the same place as Sexy Rex Tillerson was when he got canned. She's a horrid human and her firing couldn't come quickly enough. The fact she can kill a dog, bang Corey Lewandoswki and cosplay as an official act, makes he entirely unserious and unqualified. So the time for her to go was basically as quickly as it takes me needing to after a 20 ounce coffee.

Take on the lack of a bone

Senate republicans showed again they have no backbone, femur, hip bone or bone bone. They have had opportunities to establish themselves as a coequal branch of government but completely refuse and their impotence is leading to yet another war in the Middle East. Maybe someday they will stop being flaccid losers and start getting themselves up for a battle.

Take on the weird rash

Trump has some weird herpes growth on his neck and the entire world is praying it's fatal. We know we can't be that lucky but whatever this growth is, it's absolutely disgusting and you just know he's got these measles all over his palsy blotchy skin.

Take on shorts in a plane

I'll never understand why somebody decides that flying in shorts in the middle of winter makes sense. I get that you may be going to Florida but that doesn't mean you have to look like you park on the grass in front of your house. Have a little self respect and put on a pair on jeans and suffer like the rest of us when you get to Daytona Beach

Take on OpenAI's deal with the Pentagon

Here is a hot idea, let's turn a nascent technology which has unlimited power and capabilities loose to an unfettered department of war which has not proved to have any morality from the top. Lets then take any guardrails away and let them at it. Now let's guess how this can go wrong and wonder how long before our mechanical overlords take over with their imbedded Nvidia chips.

Take on the war room

When Osama Bin Laden was captured, the photo of Obama showed the gravity of the situation. When we bombed Iran earlier today, Trump hung cheap black plastic curtains while sneaking out for pancakes. I am not sure what the protocol was before Trump but the fact that this is happening in the dining room of a crappy Florida resort tells you how dangerously unserious they all are.

Take on a horrible market moment

The job market sucks, inflation is still very real for goods and services, th general feel of the economy is crap, tariffs are killing this country but somehow the stock market remains ridiculously resilient. I can't believe that we are in a place where we have yo-yo-yo's at the 50k mark for days now. Everyone it climbs, Trump takes credit, if it drops..he blames Biden.

Take o. 32.6 Million people watching the State of the Union

I always believe that the State of the Union ratings are sort of what Pig Vomit would tell Howard. People who love Trump watch for 30. Minutes, people who hate him watch for an hour. We know there is nothing substantive about the event but at this point we need to find ways to keep ourselves a little entertained and what better way than to watch an old man ramble on for nearly two hours.