Take on the Met Gala

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have any idea what the Met Gala is. The outfits are outrageous, the rec carpet is a who's who and E! probably covers it for 24 hours straight but still, what is it??

Literally I have no idea what they are getting dressed up for.
I just hope it's for a good cause

Take on the hopefuls

Nobody is a bigger loser than the Trump VP hopefuls. It's a job where you know you're going to spend all your waking time kissing the bosses gigantic pimples ass and when it comes time to do the right thing, you won't be able to without pissing off pimple ass. And your political career at this point will be over because you will be asked to decide between decency and a big ass pimpled asswipe

Take on the Cybertruck

I caught my first Cybertruck in the wild today and it was somehow uglier than I expected. I know everybody is dubbing on Musk for this monstrosity but I could not have imagined how weirdly ugly it would be in person. I'm pretty sure this thing isn't going to save Tesla let alone save any dude's chances of meeting a woman.

Take on aviation safety

When your plane looks like somebody punched it in the nose, you kind of worry. I've flown a million miles but can't say I've ever been totally comfortable getting onto any flight, mostly the ones where it looks like the plane is being held together with duct tape and bubblegum. But maybe getting a glimpse before boarding isn't the best idea.

Take on Auntie Anne’s


I often walk by an Auntie Anne's and wonder if they exist only at airports. I'm not sure if you'd find them at a strip mall in Columbus but like a Cheetah, I've never actually seen one out in the wild. I have to think they'd appeal to a certain demographic, which I guess is the pajama wearing teenager at Detroit Metro at 8am.

Take on the political donation

The biggest regret I have for ever making a single political donation isn't the fact that even the goods ones aren't that good but when you make one donation they sell all your info to every political organization.   I now get dozens of text messages from randos asking for an urgent donation and I'm sick of it.    Please, for the love of God, leave me alone if you hope to ever get another dime out of me. 

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Noem story

The Kristi Noem story is one of those which unites people. Forget politics but it brings people with heart and decency together which is hard to do. I'm sure she thought this would be endearing to those in the farm life but not only did that fall flat, it basically shows her to be heartless wench.
So maybe the perfect VP for Trump

Take on the assertion that Putin did not order dissident Alexei Navalny's death

The US intelligence report that said that Putin wasn't involved in Alexei Navalny's death is a bit hard to swallow. Not as bad as trying to swallow a nerve agent but still.. I don't believe anything happens at these levels without mother Russia knowing about and most likely ordering it but I guess if US intelligence claims it to be so…



they are probably hiding something

Take on the Smartfood glazed donut

I walked into a Walgreens and came face to face with some Smartfood called Chocolate glazed donut. I'm not sure what Smartfood proclaims to be but I can't imagine claiming to be healthy options is something they can credibly assert. Also quite sure this bad of donut will be horribly disgusting.

Take on Big Bill Barr

Nobody is a bigger hypocrite than Fat Bill Barr. He's never shown to have any spine when it really matters including his latest revelation that although he thinks Trump is completely unfit for office, he'd vote for him anyway. We know this man has no actual moral, so it's not shocking but I look at the way he carries himself and wonder how this far turd can look himself in the mirror. The saddest thing is that he has publicly turned on Trump so he's got no shot of working for him anyways so this support means he's not doing for moral, professional or personal reasons.
They probably have photos of him rolling around jello

Take on 18 weeks

We all know that the NFL's goal has always been to get to 18 regular season games, player safety be damned. The first part was this half measure to 17 games but yesterday Goodell went all in. I get the appeal for the NFL (another weekend of games) plus the fact the Super Bowl would now fall on President's weekend . but always thought they could accomplish this the same way with player safety in mind. They could add a second bye week which would still get you that extra weekend of games as obviously there are still games when some teams have byes, they still get you to play on President'a weekend with an extra week built into the schedule and players brains may not turn into as much mush. Everybody wins.

Take on the Harvey Weinstein sex crime overturned conviction

The fact that Harvey Weinstein may walk is one of the great injustices we have seen since OJ's trial. We obviously know that even if he gets off on this appeal trial, he'll be a social pariah but I'm not happy enough with this. The man's face looks like a wrinkled scrotum sack but his fame and power was the only thing that got him close to any woman…and then he took advantage of that. He's a complete utter pig

Take onReggie Bush getting his 2005 Heisman Trophy back

The idea that Reggie Bush was going to be a scapegoat for life never sat well. We know he did stuff he wasn't supposed to but we also know that basically every five star college athlete has had boosters putting envelopes in his or her pockets for decades. This is like denying Bonds and Clemens into the baseball Hall of Fame but letting that big slob Big Papi in. Screw that blowhard and screw boring ass baseball

Take on the Port Authority stabbing

Body who has to commute into the city by bus will tell you what an absolute hellhole Port Authority is. It's crowded, smells likes rotting flesh, has leaking ceilings and has no airflow. One thing it typically is though is relatively safe. But not for some poor construction worker
waiting for a bus. The poor guy is just minding his business buried in boom when he gets stabbed 9 times. I'm not one to hate on the city but this mental health crisis in public transportation is something we need to take care of. It seems somebody is getting thrown into a subway or stabbed at a bus stop like once per week

Take on the little Pecker

David Pecker will be the first witness in Trump's hush money trial and finally the world will get to meet one of the sleaziest humans alive. This guy has made his fortune in tabloid news including schemes where he'd pay for stories to just keep them under wraps. What I never understood is who actually takes anything from that rag seriously, why even bother to pay to dump it.

Take on Eric Adams

Why any lawmaker would extend Eric Adams' power bees to be recalled as this man deserves no such opportunity . I'm sure that after his tenure, we will two cycles of Republican mayors who will force us all to live in fear.

Thanks Eric!!

Take on the jury trial

We have a jury and it's time for Trump to start having to answer the music. Nobody ever imagined we'd ever get here but on the eve of the first criminal trial for an ex president, it's time for us all to step up. We are thrilled with the fact that he'll finally be held to task for what he's been doing for the last few decades.

Take on the jurors

Trumps jurors were chosen today and looking at the list the one that is most clear is that none of them have children. I'm not sure why that stood out to me but it did mostly as I wonder if people who don't have offspring may not have the same long time life outlook and may be more likely to support the orange buffoon. But I'm just hoping they come in with a clear head and no preconceived notions so that the case can be tried without too much drama

Take on mental decline

Routine jobs raise the risk for cognitive decline by 66% according to a recent study and it reminded me again how horribly mundane our lives are. We all wake up in the same bed, commute to the same job, eat the same lunch and go home on the same train all while doing the same thing and I wonder why we don't just end the entire experiment now and go directly to the credits.

Take on Sleepy Don

Sleepy Don couldn't stay awake during his own criminal trial and we are only two days into it and so far nothing of any consequence has happened. I know this won't be pleasant for him but that makes this entire thing so much better, knowing he's totally miserable and riddled with insecurities which he can't placate from inside that courtroom

Take on the draft

No one has done more for women's basketball than Caitlin Clark. She was an amazing collegiate and will likely be an amazing pro but the truth is she'll be vastly underpaid. I'm not comparing her to Lebron or Steph in terms of her expected earnings but rather to the fact that she's the face of her sport and is fill being paid worse than some uniform manager on an NBA team.
I also realize the women's game doesn't bring in the revenue that the men's game does but let's get this woman her due.