Take on Mike Brown's mismatched outfit

This Knicks postseason run has been amazing and has brought such life back to a once proud organization. It's a team with good chemistry likable players and great tenacity. It also is a team whose head coach wears a black quarter zip with pants that aren't the same tint of black. I don't know what it is but my OCD brain cannot look at this without constantly thinking that he just dress in the dark and that's coming from somebody who is one of the worst dressed humans you've ever met.

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Take on The Yankee Candle

I don't believe there is a legitimate reason that Yankee Candle exists. How many people are walking into a mall on a rainy Saturday to buy a pine tree scented candle? There just be something else going on in that place, like they must be selling hallucinogenics or some kind of weird herbal life extenders because they can't survive on $11.99 purchases

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Take on the fuel surcharge

Nothing irks me more than the world telling us we need to use mass transit and then mass transit using the opportunity to rip you off. I get that fuel prices are higher and it's something we should acknowledge but when CoachLine decides to add a $2 fuel surcharge it feels like a blatant ripoff. The bus ride just increased by about 25% and I'm sure this isn't the end.

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Take on the commute

When you commute into NYC five days a week, there are days that suck more than others. The lines at Port Authority this week have felt like you are standing online for Knicks tickets expect for being surrounded by excited basketball fans, you are surrounded by people who look like they hope the his runs off of the road. It's like slowly sucking every last bit of life out of you.

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Take on the Trump’s Government Moves to Spare Trump

The corruption is so blatant that it's hard to get worked up because nobody seems to be hiding anything anymore. When Trump got his lifelong get-out-of-jail card from his own agency, we knew it was over. We no longer have a functioning government, we no longer stand for anything virtuous, we no longer are a country to be envied. We are nothing more than the kind of third world deeply corrupt dictatorships we claim to fight against.

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Take on Bud Heavy

It's 100 degrees outside, the Knicks are in the Eastern Conference finals and nobody is bothering me. This is the time I go to my fridge and grab a beer. I typically do IPA's but on a hot summer day I don't mind something lighter. My fridge is usually stocked but today I'm digging in the back and pull out a Bud Heavy which is the only thing I have that isn't something brutal like a Yuengling. I have had three Bud Heavies in the last thirty years and I'm immediately reminded of why. This thing tastes like that Yuengling filtered through my gym socks. It's an absolutely flavorless bottle of Clydesdale piss.

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Take on the Trump administration creating $1.776 billion slush fund for allies

The corruption from Trump is so blatant that we've now just become immune to any feelings about it. I can't believe he has done it but over the last decade he has made us forget our values and morals and now whenever he does something we just collectively shrug. It's like the entire country has just given up as it all feels completely preordained and predictable.

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Take on the art of the deal

The White House is trumpeting an agreement they say the Chinese have made that would have US farmers selling $17 million of agricultural products annually. That sounds like an incredible number until you realize we routinely sold them over $20billion before Trump started playing chicken. He flew half way across the globe to come back with a worse deal than we had before he came into office and still the sycophantic media will praise him for tying his shoes.

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Take on the Jaxson Dart billboards

Has anybody seen the Jaxson Dart billboards for Cure insurance? I can't believe those things, they look like somebody took a phone with their iPhone of him mid blink and they are posted up and down the turnpike. It must cost them a fortune to have him as a sponsor and the billboard space can't be cheap, yet they have some lame logo, some stupid phrase and then cheap out on the photo. Her Cure Insurance, let me help you burn $2M next time. Sent from my iPhone

Take on the sockless man.

Why would a man ever walk out of the house for something longer than to take the garbage out wearing shoes without socks? Not only is it a completely ridiculous look, there is no way this dude isn't coming home with his feet reeking to high heavens. It is the look that screams, not only am I most certainly a flaccid ape, you won't be able to sit in the same room with me after I take these off. A man's feet should never be sock-less in a close toed shoe, I will take no further questions.

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Take on the group tour.

Going on vacation with a bunch of fellow retirees from Columbus and then walking around the city with a stupid yellow hat has to be the equivalent of volunteering to be water boarded. I have worked in the city for almost 30 years and I'm still shocked by how these tourney are willing to be dressed up like a bunch of walking match sticks for like $100 a pop. These are adults and the fact they have to be color coordinated so one doesn't accidentally wander off into Central Park make me sad for the state of humanity

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Take on the luggage condom

For the life of me I can't figure out why people take Saran Wrap and invade their luggage. Maybe it proves that somebody hasn't gone through your bag and looked at your dirty underwear on a return flight. Maybe they use it to keep your bag from getting dirty or maybe it's just a giant condom.

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Take on the economy

Nobody has to tell Americans that the economy isn't good. Nobody cares that the stock market is booming when you spend $70 to fill up your tank and $250 doesn't get you a grocery cart full of food. The entire world seems upside down if the only thing we convince ourselves is good is the fact that dollar pizza is only $1.50

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Take on Iran

The rotting corpse is getting bored in Iran which men's he either finds a new shiny toy or he decides to blow up Castle Grayskull. It sounds more and more ore like we will have boots on the ground in Tehran which sounds like the kind of half baked plan that had us in Iraq for a decade. Glad we got the no forever wars president.

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take on the cruise from Hell

I haven't followed this that closely but letting anybody off of that cruise ship to mingle with masses seems like a terrible idea. I am not saying they should be stranded at sea but this seems like it's ripe for a true Lost show where they go to some remote island and live a Lord of the Flies show that CNN broadcast on TV. We'd all be glued to the sets and everybody would forget about the $5 gas, asymmetrical economy and miserable president.

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Take on shooing carry etiquette

Nothing shows rich upper middle class elitism than the way they treat the guys who have to collect rh shopping carts in the parking lot. Look around and these self centered pricks will leave carts in the middle of the parking lot, in the roads throughout that parking lot, upon the grass etc. They all believe that bribing that cart back 19 feet to the font of the store is below them. This is the downfall of humanity .

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The on the hantavirus

We aren't ready for another pandemic and I'm quite sure we wouldn't survive as a country. The only thing I'm happy about is that this Hantavirus isn't some respiratory thing like Covid where you were fearful if somebody so much sneeze in your direction. I'm not sure how serious to take this but I am certainly not going on a cruise

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Take on the never ending story

Is there a more boring national story than this Vrabel/Russini thing. I get that the are both scummy people and because they are national figures it's a pastor but this affair seems to have way longer lifeline. I'm honestly not sure why this is even a story at all anymore.

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Take on the Met Gala

I swear that after 50 years on this fine earth, I still have no idea what the Met Gala is. I mean I know what it's about and that a bunch of celebrities dress up like some fancy Halloween but I don't know what the actual goal is. I used do think it was to support the Mets which seems like a worthwhile cause and is be fine with Beyoncé dressing like a cat for the cause

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Take on the ballroom

We were told it wasn't going to touch the East Wing, we were told it would be gullly paid for by donations and we were told it would be tastefully done and because it's Trump none of that happened. We know the donations were a payoff. We knew saving the East Wing was a lie and we knew that this thing would be a hideous eyesore. And we have always been sure that this thing will be completely wire tapped by the Chinese, Russians, Israelis, Venezuelans and everybody else.

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