Take on the pay kiosk thing in a takeout restaurant

I knew there was a reason I hated those stupid kiosks where you pay for pickup food. I assumed it was because there was this unneeded pressure to tip for somebody giving you a bagel or a ringing up a bottle of water but speaking to a guy working in a midtown takeout restaurant today, as I went to check out he quickly pushed the "no tip" for me as I was checking out. I was perplexed and told him I was going to add a dollar or so and he said "please don't, the boss takes that money and we don't get any of it". This greedy crap tells you again how corrupt the system is towards the worker.

So drop a single in the tip cup, don't ever tip on that rat kiosk.

Take on the salad bar

There really is nothing less appetizing than walking into a place that has a salad bar while doubling as a sauna. I love the variety but don't love the guaranteed diarrhea that come with the $14.99/pound price tag. We need Mamdani do start bashing some heads and force these places to turn on a fan.

Take on gas prices.

I spent $60 filling up this week and when I saw the total I almost had a heart attack. Obviously there was going to be an economic fallout from Iran but this one hit pretty damn quickly. It's not that $60 is unheard of but usually it sort of comes at you slowly while this one was like a drop kick to my groin. I guess we will be dealing with this for a while and it wouldn't shock me if we are at around $4 gallon soon.

Take on Liquid Dwath

I'm a huge fan of seltzer water, drinking easily 50 ounces per day but honestly I've found I'm just as happy with the store brand no name options as anything else. Pelegrino doesn't have enough carbonation, other ones think that there can't be enough while the Stop and Shop one is just right.

But what gets me is this new trend of artisanal seltzer which is just ludicrous, like dude it's water with carbonation, there is nothing to it and that's ok but somehow we are being swindled into paying $4 a can for water. But nothing is worse than the liquid diarrhea they market aa Liquid Death. Not only is it ungodly expensive but it's basically carbonated urine.

Take on the sad Starbucks experience.

Here is a shitty life hack that somebody is employing.

-#1. Get a very common first name
-#2. Walk into a Starbucks
- #3 grab any coffee with that name on it.

I know this isn't new but when you walk into a Starbucks and the drink you ordered and paid for on your app which they say should be ready is not on the counter, you lose all faith in humanity.

Give me back my grande oat milk latte no water cappuccino thing.

Take on the worst war


A week in and we've lost seven service members, we've bombed a girls school, we've caused generational trauma on a region, we've gone into deeper alliance with a war criminal and now we have the son of the Ayatollah taking over from the old Ayatollah. Did we not realize that the old guy was like an indeed years old and probably about to croak and the mantle would've passed to his son which is exactly what happened just on an adderall riddled time frame. But when your great leader is as morally corrupt as he's narcissistic, this is what you get.

Take on the War of Choice

Who old have guessed that starting a war in the Middle East with an OPEC country would have negative effects on the price of gas. When we as a country are rebooting against inflation, why would a war of choice sound like a well thought out strategy
When our young boys and girls are dying, we better have a coherent message to tell their parents because so far it sounds like a Trump decided it was a good idea defense.

Take on the latest plan

The goal in Iran keeps changing from having the people rise up, to finding somebody from the old guard that they could prop up to now and unconditional surrender. We know Trump doesn't plan and isn't detail oriented but I have a bad feeling this isn't going to end very well for anybody.

Take on the Bulletproof Vests and Rolex Watch wearing cosplaying secretary.

When Kristi Noem was fired via tweet, we were just glad she wasn't in the same place as Sexy Rex Tillerson was when he got canned. She's a horrid human and her firing couldn't come quickly enough. The fact she can kill a dog, bang Corey Lewandoswki and cosplay as an official act, makes he entirely unserious and unqualified. So the time for her to go was basically as quickly as it takes me needing to after a 20 ounce coffee.

Take on the lack of a bone

Senate republicans showed again they have no backbone, femur, hip bone or bone bone. They have had opportunities to establish themselves as a coequal branch of government but completely refuse and their impotence is leading to yet another war in the Middle East. Maybe someday they will stop being flaccid losers and start getting themselves up for a battle.

Take on the weird rash

Trump has some weird herpes growth on his neck and the entire world is praying it's fatal. We know we can't be that lucky but whatever this growth is, it's absolutely disgusting and you just know he's got these measles all over his palsy blotchy skin.

Take on shorts in a plane

I'll never understand why somebody decides that flying in shorts in the middle of winter makes sense. I get that you may be going to Florida but that doesn't mean you have to look like you park on the grass in front of your house. Have a little self respect and put on a pair on jeans and suffer like the rest of us when you get to Daytona Beach

Take on OpenAI's deal with the Pentagon

Here is a hot idea, let's turn a nascent technology which has unlimited power and capabilities loose to an unfettered department of war which has not proved to have any morality from the top. Lets then take any guardrails away and let them at it. Now let's guess how this can go wrong and wonder how long before our mechanical overlords take over with their imbedded Nvidia chips.

Take on the war room

When Osama Bin Laden was captured, the photo of Obama showed the gravity of the situation. When we bombed Iran earlier today, Trump hung cheap black plastic curtains while sneaking out for pancakes. I am not sure what the protocol was before Trump but the fact that this is happening in the dining room of a crappy Florida resort tells you how dangerously unserious they all are.

Take on a horrible market moment

The job market sucks, inflation is still very real for goods and services, th general feel of the economy is crap, tariffs are killing this country but somehow the stock market remains ridiculously resilient. I can't believe that we are in a place where we have yo-yo-yo's at the 50k mark for days now. Everyone it climbs, Trump takes credit, if it drops..he blames Biden.

Take o. 32.6 Million people watching the State of the Union

I always believe that the State of the Union ratings are sort of what Pig Vomit would tell Howard. People who love Trump watch for 30. Minutes, people who hate him watch for an hour. We know there is nothing substantive about the event but at this point we need to find ways to keep ourselves a little entertained and what better way than to watch an old man ramble on for nearly two hours.

Take on the TSA Global Entry Pause

Explain to me how pausing Global Entry makes any sense during a government shutdown. This is a service which - by design- is one where there is minimal interaction with an agent. Which is the one thing a shutdown would be least affected by yes you are telling me that with less money and presumably less staff we are going to take people from the kiosk system and instead put them in gigantic queues? Yeah, somebody is playing politics.

Take on the spam political text messages

The Trump speech is not something I'll watch mostly because I have to spend half the time typing End or Stop to hundreds of messages
Listen, I'll happily donate when I'm so inclined but this theory that bombarding me with these messages is only turning me off to your entire movement

Take on the NYC winter wonderland.

There is a certain serenity after a winter storm falls in the suburbs, the white snow covering the lawn, cars and roads while kids giggle as they sled down neighborhood hills. The NYC equivalent 24 hours after a snowstorm are piles of grey mush piled everywhere with lakes of nasty melted slush covering every inch of the street. Garbage bags are piled high and even the rats don't come out to play. I've never claim to have a theory of what they should o but leaving the entire thing unattended certainly is not the answer. Can't wait to be back tomorrow

Take on the killing of ‘El Mencho’

Seeing the cartel kingpin killed was obviously a welcome sign but it does beg the question...why do these honchos have such lame nicknames. We had El Capo a few years ago, now we have El Mencho. I would have thought those dudes would have been named Ratface or Pedro Broken Legs or something similarly sinister. Instead we get the equivalent of Joey Donuts.