take on the West Indian Parade

I read an article in the local papers yesterday about a bunch of cops grinding up against some scantily dressed women during the West Indian Parade and everybody is all up in arms because there were apparently a bunch of shootings along the parade route. 

Gawker pointed out that 'If only these officers had engaged with parade-goers in the traditional NYPD way—stopping and frisking all of them for no reason—those shootings would have been prevented!

 Maybe this the new NYPD method of frisking?  These chicks are wearing tiny bikini tops and small tops, the only place they could be hiding a gun is in the crack of their asses so maybe the cops were actually doing their jobs here.    And anyway have you ever seen this West Indian Parade it is basically an all-out-orgy, I'm surprised they had enough control to keep their pants on..Have you seen the way those girls dress,?? you can't expect anything less than a little round-girl-dry-hump when one of these chicks dressed like strippers starts bumping up against your pole. 

But really I'm wondering, what kind of West Indian parade would it be if there weren't at least a couple of shootings..  The Post in describing the nine shooting, two of whom were shot critical said the parade was 'especially violent' this year.   I'd like to know what kind of violence is more typical of the West-Indian parade, maybe only 3 people shot???    This is just one of these cases where like showing up to a Raider game wearing Broncos blue or a Dodgers game wearing SF colors is going to lead to bad things..  You know it's going to be bad, so maybe    just maybe they should think about canceling this thing..  yeah I know it's a crazy concept.

 

Take on the bench

Leave it to government to screw up the most simple task even when their intentions are good. A few months ago as part of a beautification program the city put up benches along third avenue giving some seating space for residents ad shop patron. But almost immediately I knew something wasn't quite right. It took me about three minutes of actually sitting in one of the new benches to realize the mistake. These clowns in their infinite wisdom set the benches about a foot off the curb keeping them comfortably out od the sidewalk path but then in a stroke of genius had them face towards the avenue. Basically it means that you will be staring at a parked car because as anybody in NYC will tell you, the chances of an empty parking spot on a busy commercial street is about 0.01%

Absolute idiots

Take on the metric system

Our disdain of Ikea is well documented from the endless lines, the Allen wrench, the terrible return policy and those filthy Icelandic meatballs. When I bought a few frames recently I thought I couldn't to wrong. But like most things Norwegian we were left out in the cold when we got home

Now I am not complaining about the terrible quality since I paid less than $5 but what I can bitch about is that these Finnish frames are 8.5x11 while American pictures are 8x11 which means all my pictures now have some idiotic white border.
So my advice to these Danes is if you want to sell me a frame again start making them in normal sizes

Take on hot coffee

I love coffee and 99% of the time will drink it black, the only exception being when I am forced to go to a few select spots which feel the need to play a cruel joke on their paying customers. This morning I got a cup if Joe along with a couple of bagels and before I made it the one block home, I felt like my hand was going to burn off. I felt like that woman who spilled coffee all over herself a that McDonalds drive-through a decade ago without being dumb enough to drop it in my crotch. I'm not saying I am going to sue the local bagel shop, although I am upset that they don't have fresh bagels at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. The issue is that there are many place who serve their coffee at blazing temperatures so that those of us who like our coffee to taste like coffee are forced to water it down with milk just to be able to not burn the roof of our mouths. I cannot imagine anybody has asked for this, it is like a sick joke on those of us who are caffeine addicts and I keep waiting for some producer to jump out of the bushes asking me to sign a release form.
And don't get me started about those stupid sleeves, you have to think when store owners see you doubling up on those while still feel it burn through your calluses, they'd turn down their burners just for a cost saving measure.

taking on the politicizing of a tragedy

On the eve of the ten year anniversary, NYC is in complete tribute mode even while there was a 'credible terrorist threat' warning yesterday.    I'm not anti 9/11 by any stretch but I am very much against how politicized the entire day has become.  Everything that this city has done since 9/12/11 has been done to make sure the elected officials have a platform, Silverstein got his money and the construction companies have work.    It's never really been about the victims or their families, it's never been about the first responders who were the real heroes of that day, it's never been about making sure the people who went into that hell-hole breathing those fumes after they were promised it wasn't fatal.   It's never been about the ordinary people who saw their lives change for ever.. it's always been about giving a platform for those who least need it.

I'm not saying that this is a GOP vs. Liberal issue as much as it's just another example of every politician in the country trying to prove their patriotism.     On Sunday morning there will be a ceremony and the guest list includes senators, congressmen, elected officials, past and present mayors, governors, state assembly men and women, commissioners and other elected people, sadly it will probably be thin on actual people.    If Mike Bloomberg had any guts he would have banned every person with any political motive –including himself- from the site and leave that day and that ceremony for the families of the nearly 3000 people who perished that horrific day.   

What the families of the victims have after 10 years is downright criminal.  I've driven past Ground Zero every single week for the last two years and I get a pit in my stomach every single time I drive by it and sadly it has less to do with the events on that clear Tuesday morning as I walked through Times Square and more to do with the fact that after 10 years it is still a gigantic open pit.     I know they threw together a small park but as anybody who has walked past you will tell you, there is no serenity or rest there.   It's a couple of trees set in the middle of a billion dollar construction site surrounded by foul mouthed construction workers, wall-street guys on a smoke break and tourists snapping pictures like they are cruising down the Walk of Fame.  After 10 years there has been nothing these politicians have done but stonewalled every sensible decision that could have been made.

take on the perfect pint.....of coffee

About once a week, I give myself a little gift..  I'm not talking about anything as detailed as a little self-love to XNXX but instead I treat myself to a decent lunch to offset the four days of dirty-gyros I consume.   For about 2 years I've been going to a great little dive called the Perfect Pint in midtown about a half-a-block off of Times Square.    The food is great, the beer is cold, the service is fantastic and the prices are ridiculous but the best thing about the entire experience has to be the coffee.  This little place –which has a twin restaurant on East Side of Manhattan- has a certain old Irish charm you don't find in your typical mid-town joint.   They have a daily special which for about $14 is usually a really interesting combination and they have about 100 beers on tap and their regular bartenders are friendly and always remember your name (even when you don't remember theirs).   Think the 50% of Marks brothers with 200% the personalities.   Keith looks like the Irish Brad Pitt if you morphed him with Sloth and Tommy looked like a cross between Mel Torme and Lee Corso.  What this place lacks in hot-young women they make up in with personality

But past the stellar service, the good food and the flat-screen TV's the best reason to come there is the fact they make the absolute best coffee this side of Columbia..   Somehow paying $6 for a Smithwicks is completely justified if you know you are going to be washing it down with the best cup of Java you'll probably ever have especially since it comes out of some gigantic machine which looks like it should be spitting out dollar-coins when the screen hits three coffee beans.     the secret to the success is apparently that Tommy cleans the machine every other day and Keith spikes the beans with JD.

Take on shipping and handling

When I got a long awaited package delivered today to say i some mixed emotions would be an understatement. I was happy the package did finally arrive after having anxiously awaited it for two weeks, I was not happy to see it sent via US Post. Now this is not a rant against the postal service (that one will come shortly) but instead about the shipping and handling charge I paid.
I had no issue paying $24.99 for the item I ordered although I was a bit disappointed when it came to check out and I find out that there is a $7.99 shipping and handling charge. After I did not get anything delivered for about a week, I go back to the confirmation email and check the website link and I realIze that they did not give me a tracking number which I think is the minimum you can expect when ordering something online. After a week and a half I finally get notification from the company that my package could not be delivered due to an 'unknown delivery address' which is crazy since I had it sent to my work.
After some further frustration and delay my package finally arrives and when I look at the envelope I see a $1.88 stamp on it. In other words I paid a $6.11 handling charge for them to put the paperwork on an envelope and drop it into a mailbox.

taking on facebook cravings

When I caught a friend's Facebook post that said "14 weeks and craving ice-cream" I was surprised but very happy for her.   I didn't realize she'd been trying and didn't know she had a serious guy but was happy for her especially since she embraced it so openly.   I wasn't quite sure how to congratulate her but figure that if she was going to come out on Facebook that in 2011 that was the right medium for this kind of news.  She responded with a weird emoticon wink and I left feeling a bit annoyed after I sent her a well thought out congratulatory message
Two days later a coworker posted "12 weeks and craving chocolate" and all of a sudden i notice this is just some stupid joke cause she already had a couple of kids and I believe is well over 40.  I mentioned this to my wife and she explained that it was some new Facebook thing where you write a crazy cryptic message to confuse your friends for some hidden meaning and says it is done to support breast cancer or something.
I guess I am too old or just don't get it but I don't see the value.   You imply that you are pregnant as some lame show of solidarity for cancer and this is supposed to make you some kind of saint??   This is the kind of typical empty gesture you get out of this generation and proves again how worthless Facebook is

First of all what support do you offer by posting some bizarre joke?   I am sure some woman who is going through chemo feels so much better because you tried to trick your friends and family.  It is like wearing one of those idiotic yellow bands or a ribbon.  There is nothing courageous about it
but even if you are too self-centered to realize that you are trying to support a woman's issue by minimizing another one       I have a friend whose wife has been trying to get pregnant for two years with no success and I am sure she's thrilled to see get Facebook wall cluttered by these self-centered c-words and their clever altruism.

Take on the hidden parking prices

Parking in NY is a total pain in the ass as there is hardly any street parking so you are often dependent on the various parking garages which although convenient require a sense of math specific only to them
First of all the prices posted never include taxes which for parking lots are ludicrously high so even when there is a big sign which says $12 you will easily pay $15 as apparent punishment to bringing your hard earned business and dollars to New York City. Now I understand trying to maximize a revenue stream but the fact those costs get buried in the fine print on the pricing sign already feels nasty. But when the garage blatantly ignores its own posted pricing to gauge you during a special event you feel that much more ripped off. This weekend I drive down to Brooklyn Bridge Park and as there is absolutely no street parking within a square mile, I bite the bullet and pull into the only garage. As I step out of my car the attendant informs me it'll be $20 which ensures that a day in a city park will cost $40 after you get a couple of drinks and a hot dog. I understand capitalism and the concept of supply and demand but i think that a city park should have more than 5 token parking spots or at least offer a municipal lot which if nothing else can help finance the park
But even past that issue what really bothered me was the fact the listed prices are drastically different than the one he quoted me

Righetti. It says $11.77 for two hours on your board

Attendant. That is only for weekdays

Righetti. It doesn't say anything about limitations on your sign

Attendant. The sign is wrong there is a board outside which shows the special

Righetti: so you should change it

Attendant: We have an all-day special for $20 on the weekends

Righetti: But it is 3pm, I won't be here all day so I don't need the special

Attendant: it's the only option

Righetti: a special sort of implies a deal, this is a rip-off

Attendant: do you want to park or not?

Righetti: I do but don't agree with this policy. It clearly states that 2 hours is $11.77 nowhere does it say that it is not valid on the weekends, I don't get why it should be more

Attendant: Talk to my boss

Righetti: ok. Can you get him

Attendant; He's not here

Righetti: great thanks



So I lay out $20 to park for a couple of hours and just feel like I have no other option. What is crazy is that this is not in any kind of high traffic spot, there are no office buildings, restaurants or stores so to have rates posted for a normal weekday is idiotic. I am sure they do 80% of their business on the weekend yet the posted rates are apparently there only for the random jerk who goes to deliver buns to the hot-dog stand on a Tuesday.

Take on the Starbucks welfare state

Maybe this is different in the suburbs but the one thing I notice when I walk into a city Starbucks is how little regard its patrons have for the store. The irony is that with its cushy chairs, open policy for bathrooms and free WiFi it's meant to feel like an office away from home but when you look around it feels like my college living situation. Forget a place where great minds can come together because of its liberal policy of allowing people to sit there all day means you have a bunch of near homeless people holding court

The bathrooms are some of the most disgusting in the city with a puddle of java colored piss separating every toilet-bowl from the door and the stink so strong it'll make your grande double vanilla latte taste like homeless ass. Their willingness to open their doors to anybody basically ensures it becomes the bathing spot for the filthy since you don't even have to buy a coffee to use the bathrooms. If you are a hobo it's a great deal but if you just spent $5 on a coffee, at some point feel like you are subsidizing the bladderly challenged. This is where those liberal northwesterners have it all wrong.
it goes deeper than just the free bathrooms, Starbucks is a prime example of what kind of ownership people feel they have in a welfare state. It starts with these filthy bathrooms which have left these stores looking and feeling so ratty that it's normal paying patrons start to treat it like their own personal garbage dump. Maybe people feel that because they spent $5 on a cup of coffee they think it should come with maid service or maybe they see that nobody else cares to keep it up either so why should they.

It is shocking how often you walk past one of its tables and see it covered with empty coffee cups, crumbs and dirty napkins. It is obvious that there isn't any table service so I don't see where exactly people get this belief that people should be cleaning up after them; people look around and see that everybody else gets away with it, so why should they bother. you don't see this is McDonalds or Wendy's but somehow Starbucks attracts a highly messy crowd.
The problem is that the eventually the image and brand gets killed because of this, who wants to spend the equivalent of the price for lunch for a coffee and then feel like you can't even make it into the bathroom without wearing waders.

Yeah for now you have enough rich guys willing to drop $25 per week to keep it running but when they wise up and start putting their money in Swiss coffee where does it leave those bathroom hanger-ons?

Take on the bathroom stink up

When I walk into a bathroom in a public spot I always check to make sure the air is clear. See when you are forced to follow some slob in the bathroom relay race after he dropped the kind of deuce which turns the air so you can literally taste there has to be some grounds for disqualification

Public restrooms generally have a major design flaw being they are always only four by six feet are always in some back corner of a restaurant and never have any proper ventilation let alone a window but my biggest issue isn't even my own suffocation.

My issue isn't even about the stink left by the slob but more what happens when you walk out of said stiinky bathroom. Now I can stink up a room with the best of them and have literally stopped a cop in his tracks when he was in the middle of throwing me out of a dorm room. But despite my own propensity of filth, I don't want somebody assuming that the stink left by some guy coming from an all-you-can eat Mexican Cantina is mine.
I never know how to properly deflect the stink so I wind up spending more time in one of those shitboxes hoping the stink will dissipate because there is just no way to avoid looking guilty. If you walk out causing a huge commotion like "holy cow if smells like something died in there" everybody thinks you are covering up and if you pretend nothing is wrong you look guilty. So I suggest that we add a new social rule of etiquette which says that if you stink up a can, it is your social responsibility to stay there for three additional people and take the blame for the damage you caused.

Take on the touch screen that touches back

What the hell was that???
It felt like somebody just stuck my tongue on a battery except instead of my tongue it was my finger and instead of a battery it was my IPhone
You know how you get that weird fly-zapper buzz when you touch the screen of a tube TV well that is what it feels like when I sometimes go to search for an app. Now this has always been some issue with a TV although I think it has not been as much of a problem with LCD screens although I don't routinely put my hands on my 42 incher reserving that for my 8 incher. But there are times when I use my IPhone and it feels like I have to penetrate some kind of forcefield and somehow it just doesn't feel 'right'
It doesn't happened all the time but when it does it seems like the electronic equivalent of getting zapped when bra ing a door handle after walking over a carpeted floor but every time it does happened I am left to wonder if I'm sucking in just a bit of finger cancer

Taking on the no smoking sign

I am not one to nitpick (well maybe I am) but isn't it about due time to remove those No Smoking lights in airplanes. Although I remember smoking being allowed on flights when I was a kid with those ridiculous partitions which worked about as well to keep smoke out of the nonsmoking cabin as wearing a sock over you winkie would to prevent you from getting the clap.

I am fairy certain that smoking was outlawed 20 years ago and was replaced with those announcements about dismantling a smoke alarm in the bathroom constituting a federal crime. Well in 20 years you would think that some airline would have had the sense to remove the electronic illuminated smoking sign being that smoking is never allowed and thus leaving it on constantly is just redundant. If you are going to have a permanent sign just affix stickers to the walls and use the lighted ones for something that actually be used by the pilot to communicate with the passengers like telling them when an approved electronic device could be used.
Replacing those panels can't be hard, is not even like the electronics have to be changed it would only mean replacing the glass panels with a picture of something other than the non smoking sign.
It just seems to me that if airlines can't be bothered to replace those little windows in 2 decades what care are they giving to other issues like my lost luggage

Take on 311 inefficiency

I think Flavor Flav said it best with 311 is a joke. Mayor Bloomberg set up the 311 service a few years ago as part of his run a city like a business initiative to help with efficiency. Now I have used it a number of times and it is pretty helpful when it comes to parking regulations and to report a minor problem but when I dealt with them recently it hit me how ridiculously inefficient it really is

Two weeks ago I call 311 to schedule a pickup of a couple of broken air-conditioners and was told to put them out on Tuesday night for tagging so they can be picked up on Thursday. A few days later I realize that I wouldn't be able to put them out as I'd be traveling so I called 311 to reschedule.

Righetti. I have an appointment for an AC tagging tomorrow but I won't be able to get it out on the sidewalk in time so need to reschedule

311 lady. We cannot reschedule appointments

Righetti. I am in California and can't put in out what should I do

311 operator. Our system doesn't allow for rescheduling You could cancel and set another appointment

Righetti sounds good, please cancel my appointment

311 operator Sorry but since it is within 24 hours of your appointment it cannot be cancelled

Righetti :confused: what should I do since I cannot out them out

311 operator You can't cancel but you can call back and set up a new appointment later this week after the initial appointment

Righetti. That's odd, it is all computerized and it's still 22 hours away.

311 operator. Our system doesn't allow for it

Righetti what happens to the appointment for tomorrow?

311 operator. They will come out and mark it down as 'no appliance left on sidewalk'

Righetti. Is there a penalty

311 operator. No

Righetti. Thank you but that seems crazy. You will still send somebody out to check on an item which I am guaranteeing won't be out there?

311 operator. Yep

Righetti. And I have to call back another time to set up an appointment?

311 operator. Yep




So in a time where every city is desperate for money we send people out to pick up recyclables that aren't there and will now ensure that I have to make another appointment which means another operator has to take another call which obviously has a cost

Well last week I finally put out the AC's on Tuesday night for tagging after I set a new appointment just as I was instructed. Problem is that they were gone before i woke up at 7AM the next morning. I figure they were probably taken by one of those crazies who walk the streets collecting cans or those roving bandits who collect scrap metal. In other words those tagging guys came out another day to find nothing on the stoop.

take on the Harlem lights

For a mayor who prides himself on efficiency and a city who trumpets energy saving all over the MTA billboards, we found it more than a bit ironic when we drove past the raised subway station at 125th and Broadway on Sunday night when all mass transit had been halted for at least 30 hours and saw the platform lit up like the tree at Rockefeller Center.   Obviously the city had announced days earlier that all mass transit would be stopped on Saturday at noon and even Sunday evening it was clear that it would not be running again till sometime Monday but still the subway station looked like it was fully operational.  So there is no train service and the city has spent millions on Hurricane preparedness, the MTA cries every year about not having enough money, there are thousands without power in Queens and Staten Island yet nobody could be bothered to turn off the light switch?

Take on the information black hole

On days when there is a crisis, I am always impressed with how well this city comes together but when it takes 2 hours to commute in, I want to scream. Now of course we realize that Irene knocked out service and getting back to normal will take a few days but it is the typical black hole of information that is the MTA.
The only announcement we keep hearing is a vague one about train traffic up ahead and I know only because I am on one that the D and N trains were rerouted onto the local tracks joining the miserably slow R. When there is no semblance of normalcy, the one thing you could ask is some clarity including where an express train might be available. I also have to ask why would you close the express tracks if there is no flooding and you are only causing congestion in the tunnels by routing three lines onto one set of tracks? There is no water on the tracks as they sit directly adjacent to the local one and the Q and B are running normally into Manhattan and the trains arrived on the express tracks from Coney Island only to stop at 36th where you force everybody onto the local and then have them get back onto the express at Dekalb.

take on the cell-phone cops

If there a job in this world where it is more acceptable to spend the entire 8 hours you are on the clock yapping on a cell phone than an NYPD officer, I've yet to find it.      I have to say that it is very discouraging when on a day when city services like subways are closed, streets are flooded, trees are down and people are trying to get back to their evacuated homes and to see a bunch of guys standing on a street corner yapping on their phones with absolutely no regard of the overall situation.  You just know these guys are all on time-and-a-half on a day like this and when I see guys huddled in a bagel shop or surfing the web, I really wonder if Ray Kelly has completely lost his troops..    When your job where your main objective is to be vigilant with your eyes and ears open, how is this acceptable behavior.  You don't see the toll collector at the GWB texting, you don't even see the pimpled faced kid working at Burger King have this kind of disregard for his responsibility and you sure as hell don't see the average guy who goes to work get away with spending their entire workday conversing on a phone.  Obviously everybody appreciates everything cops do for us everyday and this is in no way a knock on the heroes from 9/11 but it is becoming a complete epidemic; walk around NYC and every cop on the corner is either texting, standing in a circle shooting the shit or talking on a cell-phone.  

Take on mass hysteria

at I don't get is that cities and states do nothing but fan the flames of hysteria. Two decisions stand out:
-Bloomberg ordering the sensible evacuation of low lying properties by 5pm today
- The MTA shutting down train service by noon today

Does anybody see the issue here. The hurricane is not supposed to hit until late tonight yet we shut down mass transit a full 12 hours in advance. You are setting yourself up for a mass exodus using the main arteries out of the city. Cars will be backed up for a hundred miles on the BQE, the Henry Hudson and the thruway. It'll be like Woodstock without the free love and Jimi Hendrix.
Honestly I thought the idea was to avoid hysteria and then you tell 100,000 people to leave their homes and go into a shelter

take on the greatest storm of all time

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

take on the running injury

There are many reasons to run as a sport.   It's exhilarating, it allows you to work out in the great outdoors, it's great exercise and it can be done anywhere.  There are also some downfalls including the damage you do to your joints, the chafing of your fat thighs, calloused dry feet and the ankle sprains but as any runner knows this is all just part of the game…. Running, especially in New York City, is a contact sport with people rushing around the turns like they are giving out free ice-cream cones for the first 200 finishers so getting a bit beat up has always come with the territory so nobody can be surprised when you come back a bit bruised. 

When I removed my shoe after a 4 mile run last night, I had what many runners will know as a pretty common sight…my entire sock was blood red.  I took off my shoe and knew immediately what happened; I split a toe-nail and then sloshed around in this bloody sock for the a few more miles.  My toenails which are usually a nice shade of yellow were now deep red.   Obviously many seasoned runners know the pain of the bloody toe which although not as painful as the broody nipple is still any experienced runners does everything in his power to avoid.   I have run races where my nipples started bleeding from the constant chafing of shirt to nipple skin and I can be seen crossing the finish line with two streaks of red coming directly from my nips.  A bloody toe is similarly gruesome although definitely less painful but reminds you that unlike those idiots on those elliptical machines you are at least participating in real exercise.