Take on The Trump portrait

Trump is all pissed off about some portrait hanging in the state capitol in Colorado I can't imagine him having time to complain about something like this but when you are as vain as he is, it does make sense. I'm not sure what the best course of action would be but to think that this guy has spent significant time both complaining about this and negotiating a settlement between Ukraine and Russia is insane

Take on the south

When you get to the south they tell you that you should not use your cell phone within 25 feet of a gas station which sounds totally ludicrous. I'm all for curbing cell phone usage but this seems as arbitrary as having to turn your phone off on a plane. We need sensible laws and rules not Big Government breathing cos our backs

Take on George Foreman

George Foreman dying had me messed up on two levels. First of all, he was obviously an incredible boxes who I only saw the tail end of his career when he was fat. But even then, he seemed like he was sort of unstoppable. Not because he was fast or nimble but because when he did, he hit you like a freight train. But of course my biggest memory of him is the grill which turned this dude into John Madden II.

Take on the DOE

Trump signing another executive order, this one is to dismantle the department of education. In a country where we constantly feel like we are falling behind in education, this seems like a terrible move if only for the optics. Japan and China aren't cutting education, Europe isn't either. But here we are, the country that has already told the woke we are science skeptics, taking the next step and basically just saying screw it, we are what we are.

Take on the end of the metro cards

When MTA announced it had gotten rid of metro cards, it was clear to me that I didn't realize they still existed. I'm not purist but the metro card was never as cool as the token, I doubt there will be a nostalgia behind them and honestly doubt they will be missed. Although that reminds me that I think I still have like $6 on my card which is good for like a half a ride by now.

Take on the fall from grace

Nobody has fallen from grace faster than Elon Musk. It's not just that he's somehow flipped the script on himself going from a liberal darling to a full on Nazi, it's that he's done it with no regard to his own reputation. I guess when you have a couple of bucks in your pocket, you can feel that confidence. Sadly though this dude will never be happy, he can never find the right amount of money to buy any kind of joy.

Take on the World's most Famous vomitoriun

It must be nice to be Tracy Morgan. You just show up to a Knick game, pay a child's admission, act all crazy and then puke up your dinner. I can't imagine living g his life but there is no way some average Joe barfs on the court and they just clean it up and go on their way. Jim Dolan would have them expelled for life and probably would shove them down a flight of stairs for good measure.

Take on the commander in cheat

Trump won his own lame golf tournament today, with videos of him picking up puts and shanking balls into the woods. We don't honestly care and I'm totally fine with him blowing off some steam but the entire thing is so embarrassingly awful to think he wants to brag about this

Take on the not normal.

I'm not sure I can do another 3 years and 10 months of this. Trump has spent the first part of his second term, destroying the entire institution. I get that this was the Steve Bannon playbook and I also know that they have this thing mapped out to a t. What in shocked at is the impotence of both the democrats and the main steam republicans This isn't normal and these people will have to live with this for their political careers.

Take on the Starbucks settlement

Some dude in an F-150 is going to get $50,000,000 for spilling a Pike Place Roast on his groin and here I am slaving away daily with a 3 hour round rip commute I don't care what the damages are, getting $50M for an unsecured top is asinine. Please god, I hope this guy buys a gigantic cup after he collects his winnings and the barista makes sure his kid is once again not totally down.

Take on Chuck Buck Schumer

God. Chuck Schumer sucks. He's been back at his position of not doing anything of value but sounding like a total moron while doing it. He's a spineless loser and the fact he's got any support is shocking to me. I wish they'd send this clown out to pasture

The on the conservative green car

There wasn't a conservative who would have been caught dead in an electric car yet now they are all tripping over themselves to get closer to Elon. Hannity is the latest loser to fall into the trap after Trump make the Tesla cool for the lunatic crew. I don't like rooting against the Tesla stock because we all have a lot of our 401ks and investments tied into it but god, if it can drop just a bit more maybe the Tesla's board of directors has some guts and appoints a new leader

Take on Elon and Trump's infomercial

Trump and Elon did a joint infomercial for Tesla today which completely erases any hope for impartiality. Here is Trump picking winners in the global car race and getting everybody to listen to his reasoning. This is the kind of activity that would have gotten FoxNews into a panic a few years ago but now they are likely providing play by play. I'm so sick of all of this, can we just got back to the old guy who would forget where he was every now and then?

Take on the fresh crash

When your entire persona is about showing strength you better have the balls to show up when things aren't going well. The stock market is in a tailspin, the world is questioning the new world order and we are destroying our infrastructure from the inside. I get that this is what we apparently wanted but at what point do we start winning and not looking like a bunch of fools.

I'm 99% sure the stock market recovers as it alway does but maybe this is the exception because nobody likes instability.

take on the void

Kamala came out of hiding this weekend to start to poke fun at our chubby president. It wasn't innocent fun either, this was hard core political trolling by Kamala by using Trump's own words against him. We know the democrats can't seem to get their message out, they always just look defensive, meager or plain weak and I don't think they themselves know what they need to do I'm also not sure who is going to be able to deliver their message daily but right now that is an obvious void and it's time for somebody to step up.

Take on the Trump supporter who is now out of work.

Nothing seems more appropriate than a bunch of Trump supporters screwing around and finding out. I get that they aren't all that bright and we all saw this disaster coming like that giant boat and that iceberg but the fact that anybody is surprised that their messiah isn't exactly kosher, needs to repeat the class

Take on the little person

I always knew Mike Johnson was a small man but seeing him on that manjuice stained FoxNews couch convinced me the guy might a little person. I have nothing against little people but when he is trying to compensate for lack of stature by being a total jackass, I lose all respect for the man and the position. When the history of the US will be written, at one point they will turn to the page of our present speaker and everybody will wonder why he was wearing lifts.

Take on the exploded payload

Rooting for any aircraft to go down seems legitimately sick but when that SpaceX exploded, it almost felt therapeutic. What Musk has done to our country in the last two months will be something we deal with for years and he's not close to done. The cruelty is only matched by the incompetence of their accounting system which is still nothing compared toy Elon's personal impotence which is why he feels the need to swing around a fake dick. We know there won't be a future for all of this but do think we are in for a miserable ride.

Take on Trump's tariffs

Every day, another delay. Trump can't figure out what to do with tariffs which he thinks are the magic bullet but they keep killing his vibe when the stock market tanks. I can't tell you how idiotic this policy is but will guarantee that if he actually goes through with it, the pain we will all suffer is going to as big as Trump's gigantic ass.

Take on yo-yo economics

It sounds like Trump has had enough of the Mexican and Canadian tariffs and will be walking those back in the next few days. He will somehow try to paint it as a win but it will be a complete embarrassment as he did it and when the stock market crashed, he will have tried to present it didn't happen. I'm not sure what great "deal" he will claim but I'm quite sure it's not one that actually will make America greater.

Take on the Errors for DOGE

Doge keeps inflating numbers like men inflate the size of their peckers and nobody seems to bat an eye. We know Elon's rat pack was never going to actually do what they claimed they were set up to achieve but to see it fail so completely in such a public way, is hard to imagine. Good news is that somebody w to buy Twitter for like a few millions dollars which in the world of DOGE math might be worth a few billion

Take on the mJD Vance family ski trip to Vermont

Poor JD. He's is so unlikeable that he and his family basically got booed off the state at a ski mountain. We all knew it would be a disaster for him to come, but having spent 100s of days in Vermont skiing, it seems like a near impossible place to have a VP skiing. They are so many variable, trails, weather, moguls, lines etc.

Had he come to Killington, I'm sure I would know of at least one snowboarder who wouldn't totally stop if he was on a trail and JD crossed the trail at the same time .

Take on Andrew Cuomo

I don't understand how as the largest city in the country and one of the most important in the world, we always get these horrible mayors. With Andrew Cuomo entering the race, we are now assured to make the nest one a complete circus and having to choose between Adams and Cuomo is like having to choose between a root canal and a high ankle sprain

Take on Zelensky

When Zelensky went to Washington, he found himself in a miserable situation with a man who berated him in front of his boss for not bending the knee while facing an onslaught from Putin. I don't know what is the best course of action but don't think it's fair to say this is really salvageable. One man has seen war, the other threatens it. One man has battle scars, the other temper tantrums.

‘Take on the Epstein Files’

The first trove of the Epstein files were releases and although I haven't watched any TV or followed it, it seems people are pissed off. Not because people who they respect are on it but because there aren't enough people they hate on it. I'm sure Clinton deserves his spot, as fine Prince Andrew but nobody deserves his first class seat to that island then our current president.
Time to come clean, Tubby

Take on Jeff Bezos announcing 'significant shift’ coming to the Washington Post.

Jeff Bezos has announced significant shit to the editorial page with his lame attempt to become a mini Rupert Murdoch. I get his desire to control a media empire but instead of making sure democracy doesn't die in darkness, it's instead cuddling up with Donald Trump I'm at the point where I'm not sure which of these billionaire techno-bros has any guts left. We know Elon has old out, Zuck has been completely lame, Bezos is bending the knee and god knows who else has given away all of their personal fortitude.

Take on the Gold Card

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free

Or give us $5 million payable in Bitcoin or Doge coin or better yet Trump Coin.  I'm not sure what the best decision is but I'm sure it involves outraging this corrupt son of a b%#€^£ and moving on to somebody who doesn't see American liberty as something to sell on the free market.   

God help us.   

Sent from my iPhone

The on Toe licking Trump

When the TV's were hacked at the HUD today and they played a loop of Trump licking Elon's toes, we thought we'd seen it all. Obviously this was a DeepFake but even so, the thought was just so vile that even we could not find humor. We hope we are in a place where we can laugh again because so far this has been nothing short of an unmitigated disaster

Take on the Yanks

Everything we knew about the Yankees is no longer what we thought they were. Facial hair is now back and Sinatra is now out but I'm guessing they will likely not win a World Series. I'm not sure if I care because I haven't seen a baseball game in a decade. But I'm not going to bring me back to baseball because I like to not be totally bored.

Take on the Elon justification email

When he's not doing Nazi salutes, Elon is busy making babies and ruining countries. His latest salvo into his attempt to break our country was to tell all federal employees they had to justify their existence by email or be considered as having quit. We know this isn't going to end well other than our more fear into the minds of our federal workforce with no regard of how this will affect the service they provide.

Take on the Roman Salute

What the hell is going on with these Republicans all of a sudden embracing the Roman salute? I mean, nobody has ever heard of this particular salute of Italian lore but apparently we are supposed to all believe that they are all just doing exactly what we think they are doing.

We are living through absolutely the craziness of times.

Take on DOGE's $8 b/million

DOGE claimed to have saved $8billion but somehow they missed a few zeroes. We know that people sort of confused millions and billions but that's kind of like confusing four quarters in your pocket and a $1000 in a bank account.
$8,000,000
$8,000,000,000

Slightly different.

Somebody tell DOGE to investigate the waste every time Trump flies down to Florida to play golf.

Take on the end of congestion pricing.

Trump said he killed congestion pricing which made him the most popular man outside of the city. People hate congestion pricing, so this was easy issue for Trump since it has no impact on him but is yet another example of him doing something that will have huge negative consequences. For those of us who are in midtown Manhattan every day, the reduction of cars is one of the few positives we have ever gotten.

Traffic is less, air pollution is down and there has to be like a 99% decrease in people leaning on their horn.

But The King does what The King wants. So here we are.

Trump's take on the war

When our foreign policy resorts to believing whatever Putin whispered in Trump's fat little ear, you know are all screwed. Trump parroted the Russian lies that Ukraine started this war and the. Indicated that Ukraine has avoided elections to keep Zelensky in power. I'm so sick and tired of any defense of Russia on this matter but find it particularly repulsive to hear it from the US president.

Take on the plane crashes.

How long before Steve Bannon and Trump start blaming the Deep State for all these plans crashes? I'm sure they are convinced that these planes
falling out of the sky is directly related to some middle manager in the transportation department sabotaging air travel by jamming the radars.
Who knows what angle they officially take but I'm sure they will find a way to pin this on Deep State Biden past the lame DEI reasoning they tried a while ago.

Take on the bird flu

The bird flu is really starting to cramp my style. This morning, I tried to get an egg impossible burger thing and was told they didn't have any to sell. Yesterday the supermarket shelves were empty and the ones I did manage to get from some organic store looked like a thick curry sauce when I cracked them. Obviously this isn't Trump's fault but as we all know, when you are the boss the buck stops with you. And outside of importing a bunch of eggs from Turkey, I'd like to know what he's doing about my omelette.

The on Tequila Tom

I'm sure our secretary of defense wasn't drinking on the job because that's what we've been told. They explained it was water but the blue suit made it look brown, they told us the look on his face when the sweet flavor hits his lips is normal for water and they claim there isn't a long history of public drunkenness to point to.

Personally I think the guy is a total lush and can't help but drink all the time.

Take on the Trump Adams's secret love affair

I was asked today what New Yorkers reaction to Trump moving to dismiss corruption charges against Eric Adams. I thought for a minute and stated that I had heard almost nothing from rank and file's New Yorkers and commuters into the city. That doesn't mean there aren't neighborhoods and protestors etc but from the midtown perspective, it's eerily quiet. He's a horrible human and should be looking at jail time not a parachute but we can't ever get what we want and always just get what we deserve when we elect a mayor of NYC. The biggest issue is that people are very much of the opinion that corruption is just par for the course whether it's Trump or Adams, classic both sidesism.

Take on The City Destroyer

If I'm still alive in 2034, I could witness some asteroid hitting earth which would have the power of 500 Hiroshima's. I can't say in terribly excited about this although I was happy that my house in New Jersey wasn't in the predicted path. What I know is that if we do get this sucker hunkering down on us, you'd have to be able to get some pretty cheap property. And crypto would be totally screwed.

Take on the buyout and what it means for unemployment

With some federal judge allowing for the Trump buyout plan for federal works proceed, we are likely to see a number of people taking it. I'm sure this helps the Elon concept of cutting costs by cutting headcount but what they don't realize is that all of these resignations will lead to one thing for sure..higher unemployment. There is no employer as big as the US government and clever you feel about them, cutting jobs there will lead to a lot of people looking for work and don't think Trump will be that happy with employment stats rising under his watch.

Take on the gulf

The Gulf of America is going to the greatest gulf of all time. I'm not sure what the point is but if it distracts Trump long enough, maybe he'll get tired and take a nap. This to me is like getting angry about him folding all the time. Honestly let him waste his energy on this and not dismantling our democracy

Take on the penny

Even I have to agree with Trump when he's right about something. I've completely in agreement that it's due time to stop minting the penny which isn't worth its weight. I have no idea how much it costs us to make these things but I'm good to also immediately get rid of the nickel and start to phase out the dime in the next ten years.

It's time.

Take on the Super Bowl

I haven watched more than a few NFL games this year (Jet games don't count because they are the Jets). We are 52 minutes into this game and I don't think I've been this bored in a long time. I know people will talk about the Eagle defense and the timely ability of their offense to generate a push. The commercials haven't been great, Kendrick didn't move the needle at our Super Bowl party and even watching Mahomes look like Zack Wilson got kind of boring

But we have like 8 minutes left and the eagles just kicked another Field Goal, so maybe in-laws can be in bed in 30 minutes.

Take on Rod Blagojevich

Another day, another ludicrous move by the White House. At least today's rumor that Rod Blagojevich was being considered as ambassador to Serbia won't have any real impact but the sheer thought of having a guy who served eight years for corruption holding any position of any importance seems beyond comprehension. But I think this is just another example of flooding the zone because as soon as we riff on this, they send Elon and his cronies into our personal files.

The on the first few weeks.

They claimed they went going to follow the Project 2025 model. We believe them just like we believe that Trump would be better for Gaza than Kamala. We thought it was a good idea to give the entire government payment system to Elon to tinker with and we are fine with completely unqualified people leading major departments. We don't care about the price of eggs anymore which is odd because it was all we cared about before. We don't want any foreign wars but we are looking to take over Panama, Greenland, Gaza and Canada. It's just insane that it's only been a few weeks

Take on 100,000 eggs were stolen from a trailer

You know we have hit total inflation when robbers rob a trailer filled with eggs. We know that with the bird flu, eggs have become a hot commodity and prices have skyrocketed and many stores are totally sold out. But when I saw this trailer being hijacked I thought. How many of the Trumpers care about the price of eggs now

Take on Gaza

Trump's latest goal is to take over Gaza, adding it to Panama and Greenland and maybe Canada's as desired conquests. Obviously this is exactly what we've warned you about for years, that a second term would be more unhinged than the first. We will keep letting him do this as long as we don't call him out for the lunatic he is. We are actively supporting Apartheid, Genocide and
Ethic Cleansing

Take on the yoyo tariffs

For a couple of minutes, we had tariffs on our neighbors only to have them pulled back. I don't know how it perceived by the MAGA crazies but this seemed like an unnecessary fire drill for everybody involved. I'm not sure what we will do next but getting into a pissing match where you're really just peeing on your own shoe.

The on the Futures

Dow futures were down 650 points on Sunday night as the world awaits the opening of the markets Monday after Trump decided to burn the entire economy to the ground. Obviously tariffs are a ridiculous way to boost an economy and to believe that the exporting country pays for it is as dumb as it gets but somehow the orange conman has convinced himself and his minions that this is good policy.

God, he's dumb

Take on retaliation

As expected. Canada has already retaliated against the US and imposed its own 25% tariff on our goods. This is going to do wonders for our economy as now both goods from Canada will be more expensive and goods we try to sell to them will also be more expensive meaning they will look elsewhere and buy less of our goods.

Thanks Trump. The winning keeps getting better.