take on the Olympics

I dutifully watch the Summer Olympics every four years in amazement as
you see the culmination of years of hard work for these athletes.
But honestly some of these events are absolutely ridiculous.  I am a
fan of the traditional events like swimming, diving, track and field
and gymnastics and much less for equestrian jumping or badminton which
seem like sports for the horse or something you do while having a case
of beer
But what is most amazing is that there are certain events which I look
at in awe because of how well the athletes do it knowing I could never
get close in time like the butterfly or the 100 meter dash and then
there are others which I look at in awe because I can't begin to
imagine myself even being able to do the task and they are mostly
gymnastic events

I watch the 200 meter dash and I know I could do it, I'd finish in 30
seconds but i could literally finish it  but then you see the balance
beam and I know that there are almost no moves I could accomplish on
that thing except possibly walking on it.

The 400 meter back-stroke. Check.
The uneven bars... No chance
Basketball... Check
The high-bar.. Forget it
PingPong.. Check
The Rings. .Nope
The 1500 meter run.. Sign me up today but
The Vault  would vault me into a coffin

Even some track and field sports I'd never do like the Pole Vault
where I'd probably impale myself and although i could do the triple
jump I'd definitely pull a nut.  I'd never be able to do the Triple
Lindy yet could shoot a bow and arrow even if I don't hit the target every time

although if you ask me to aim my stream into a toilet I hit it most of the time