Take on Georgie Santos

George Santos is recusing himself from all committee positions as he tries to sort of the mountain of lies he's been caught in. Of course this doesn't really matter much as I'm sure he'll be replaced with another despicable human but one this is for certain and that is that we are all going to see more of the same in the future.

Santos is a total lying snake and I'm guessing this is the first step to him having to resign all together but really knowing the GQP this could also catapult him into super stardom.

TaKe on the Kelce brother

Nothing will be more nauseating than having to spend the next two weeks hearing about the Kelce brothers. Yeah, they are both great and will undoubtedly both wear gold jackets at some point but the hype these two will get over the next week will be sickening.
We will have stories about their mom, their dad, their other brother who works at a Honda dealership and their gym teacher. We are going to see videos of the two hanging out and playing catch

And we will see them hug and shake hands and whatever and I will want to puke.

Take on fat Trump

At this point, the people around Trump have to be getting kind of tired of having to pretend that he still has any value to the Republican Party. Right? He's gotten so grotesquely obese in recent months, he just walks around looking like a giant bag of jello

He's got bigger boos than Melanie, a bigger ass than Ivanka, a more shriveled up penis than Don jr and less muscle tone than Erik.

Take on the trophy hunter

Some trophy hunter was killed the other day when the brother of the lion he killed, got his revenge. If there is one group of people I do not feel badly about getting eaten by a lion, it's a trophy hunter and by the sight of this dude, that lion had a big meal

we can only hope that the fate of a certain little Donnie Trump

Take in the video

You knew the video would be bad when they decided to release it at like 7pm on a Friday night. They were hoping for a muted response and gambled that sometime over the weekend another story would grab the headlines allowing this one to fade into the background

But when you see this level of brutality, this brutal behavior with such cruel motives, you wonder how much we as a nation will let this one go. I'm sure they feared the riots, although that would recast this entire episode and basically create new public enemies out of the people taking to the streets

It's all a well choreographed dance.

Take on Aaron Rodgers

I've been a Jets fan for long enough to know exactly how this will work out. Aaron Rodgers is on the wrong side of 40, starting to lose his fastball and…he's frigging crazy. Plus this is the Jets

The Jets defense is very good and next year the running game should be terrific. There are some weapons on offense as they receiver room is one of promise but this has Brett Favre Part II written all over it.

Take on the spinning of the Earth's inner core

I cannot believe this..we are finally feeling our way out of the pandemic, we seem to go from one psycho madman dictator threading nuclear meltdown to another, we are seeing the oceans rise and the storms get worse and now the earth's inner core may have stopped turning.
I have absolutely no idea what that actually means but unless this means we all go to some kind of Benjamin Button thing, this one doesn't sound good. l and I'm hoping it doesn't have anything to do with the time I tried to dig a hole to china when I was 6.

Take on Hello Fresh

Every time I hear about Hello Fresh delivery, somebody tells me that I can make a gourmet meal for half the price they charge at a restaurant and save so much time that I have time to clean the dishes.

But the actual experience is vastly different

Hello Fresh. "Prepare this smoky Spanish rice with shrimp and filet, in 18 minutes"


An hour later my kitchen looks like an absolute war zone. I've used more pans than I thought I owned.
There is a sad pile of half cut up vegetables somewhere in a lost corner. There is definitely some blood although I can't be sure if it came from me or the filet. The smoke alarm has gone off 3 times, the entire place smells like burned paella and there is still a bushel of parsley that I didn't even see as part of the recipe.

The good news is you can't tell because the food looks worse than the kitchen and everybody is crying while I frantically order pizza.

Take on Sean Payton

Sean Payton will get a $25Million contract and the team signing him will give up a first and maybe a third round pick. Top NFL coaches are difficult to find and Payton was certainly innovative over his decade or so run with the Saints but to think this guy will turn your entire franchise around in a second is a bit ludicrous unless that franchise comes with Drew Brees.

But what I'm more perplexed with is how weird this guy looks in a suit. His head is like a gigantic watermelon because it looks like he forgot to take the 1980's lady's shoulder pads out of his jacket

I hope Denver will be happy having David Byrne coach their team

Take on the latest inflation craze.

There is nothing more annoying than the knee jerk reaction to some random price increase on some random item. Today, we are discussing eggs and what it means for the economy. It may mean your egg McMuffin gets more expensive. It may mean you bake less cakes, it may mean your cholesterol drops or for some jackass it may mean you spent your weekend building a chicken coop. There were reports about Mexican drug smugglers now bribing over illegal eggs which is as likely a story as the ones about a bunch of suburban dads actually building said coops.
I'm all for hobbies but you know these are the same idiots who bought a Covid puppy or thought having a few kids would be really fun

Take on Buzz

Buzz Aldrin went where no man his age should be able to go.

We all think of his greatest accomplishment being his moon walk but truthfully the fact that this dude got married to a woman who is like half his age is more impressive. I mean, he likely has money and she's strategically written into that will but for at least a few days this dude can do the moonwalk T

Take on the George Santos (continuing) story

This George Santos story keeps getting more bizarre. Not only is his entire biography a lie, he's also being outed for letting a homeless veteran's dog die after stealing $3k from a GoFundMe campaign. Earlier this week it was also revealed that his mother wasn't even in the United States on 9/11 even after George claimed she was in the World Trade Center and of course there is the entire drag queen thing

A friend said to me today "you know what, he's actually ok looking in drag. like, it's not that unnatural looking on him Like most guys"

Fair point but I guess when uncle Vlad pays for the chin lift and the eyebrow threading, it makes it a bit easier

Take on the drag queen

The George Santos drag queen thing is getting a lot of press as if performing as one would somehow make him a bigger fraud than he already is. We know that the GOP having to defend this is cringeworthy but the democrats dragging this out as some kind of disgrace is lame.

The drag queen thing is the probably the only true thing we know about this dude.

Take on Vegas

Somewhere in the last three years Las Vegas has transformed. Gone are the Asians and in are more trashy Americans who now seem to be knee deep in every last part of the debauchery. But the most shocking thing is that somehow, without anybody noticing, the Death Star crash landed about 1/2 mile from the strip and is now awaiting some needed repairs. I hope Darth doesn't walk out and kick the crow out of everybody while I'm here

Take on the no Wi-Fi on board

Stepping onto a cross country coach flight at 8am sucks for a million reasons mostly because I am reminded of the misery that is flying.

My alarm went off at 5am, my cab took a wrong turn, we hit terrible traffic as we approached terminal 4 at JFK, the TSA line was endless, the options at the snack bar were limited to melon and boiled eggs and my seat in row 35 doesn't recline. But that is all part of the gig, the real horror came after we departed.

I always scan my plane for that Wi-Fi symbol as I get on which by now is standard on just about any plane and once I see it, I can relax. I don't worry about downloading a bunch of podcasts or movies and I've long stoped bringing a newspaper or magazine with me so the real horror of my day wasn't the airport experience but the announcement they made about 19 minutes after departure that the Wi-Fi system was down and they would try to reboot it. The rebooting part is apparently pulling out the plug and sticking it back in which they have tried 6 times with no success and now I'm stuck for 5 hours staring at my seat like some king of mental patient

Take on the kickers

It's amazing to me that an NFL kicker can show up in an NFL game, let alone a playoff game, and miss three extra point kicks. I get that it's stressful but they are playing in perfect weather, no wind and asking a guy who is making millions to kick extra points. After they moved the kickoffs up to basically the 50 yard line , these guys don't have anything else they need to do

Take on the MLK statue

I know it's been mocked mercilessly already and I'm sure seeing it person is going to be so much more impressive but from what I've seen the MLK statue is just…weird. I love MLK but showing he and his wife headless is a weird tribute especially as it looks like her hands are holding a giant squid.

I think we need a commission before putting one of these up on a city square

Take on the 5 additional pages of classified material found at president's Wilmington residence

You got to be kidding me!!

We love Biden but this is getting out of control. Every time I turn on the news another trove of documents is discovered and we all know this isn't the end of it. The Dems played this card really badly with going all in on Trump and now having to face these consequences. I get that it's not the same but any sting they had with Trump is totally gone and now we're left to defend what we said was indefensible

Take on the $1.6million fine for the Trump Org.

The Trump Organization was convinced of 17 felonies including tax fraud and their penalty…$1.6million. To a laymen this might be a big sun but for a billionaire this is pocket change and proves again that even if Trump does pay (likely won't pay the total as he'll appeal) it won't matter and it won't be anything more than a slap on the wrist. These people evade millions in taxes, this fine is just the cost of doing business for them and less than the taxes they should have paid.

Take on classified information

The Dems constantly make their own beds and are forced to lay down in them. This is the issue, they want to both hang Trump by his wrinkly balls but also want to have the moral superiority high ground when it comes to ethics which is great if you are mother Teresa but they are not. They are sleazy politicians so they keep sheeting caught with their pants down both literally and figuratively.

But screwing up is one thing, the issue is that when you want to be able to have the moral high ground you are going to have to have do something drastic and in this case drastic might mean Biden is forced to go the route of Al Franken

It's time for Biden to come to grips with the fact that he can't be more than a one term president, he needs to get out of the way because this second term is going to be a bloodbath without the protection he's been afforded

Take on the Park and Ride bus schedule

I'm convinced that there are people who either live on some weird Ted Turner schedule or are just looking to screw with me. I started going to a park and ride and looking at the bus schedule leaving Port Authority, the bus after the 6pm seems like an odd joke. The bus leaves on the 15 minutes from the beginning of the afternoon rush to the end except for a single ride that says it leaves the city not at 6:15 but instead at 6:17. As anybody who has been in Port Authority will tell you, on time departures are already a figment of their imagination, so even if this particular bus is always just a minute or two late, it wouldn't make any real impact

Take on classified info

We realize there is likely more than merely a nuisance difference between the classified papers that were found in Biden's office and the troves found in Trump's golf club but it proves again that the moral high ground we believe we have when it comes to Biden v s Trump is pretty limited. I know my ultra liberal friends won't like this but Hunter is a problem, whether Joe benefited from is or not is not as important as the fact Hunter peddled the relationship for personal gain. The classified documents are important if we think that they should never be found outside of official possessions like we said for Trump. The weekends in Delaware and the vacations to wherever shouldn't matter unless we made a big deal about Trump's weekly trips to Mar-a-Lago. It's time for a purity test for these Democrats or we have to accept that all politicians at their core are the same.

I'm all in for the democrats mostly because I think MAGA is dangerous but the moral high ground is a slippery slope

Take on the guy playing his iPhone without headphones on a bus

Is there anything more annoying than sitting on a bus or subway and some jackass is playing a TikTok or YouTube videos with the volume on? I'm not sure why this has become acceptable behavior but the fact that every website now has imbedded video is definitely part of the issue but the fact that people have no regard to the peace and quiet of the rest of the car seems to be more than a bit generational and the fact that they believe the entire bus wants to hear some TikTok video is audaciously arrogant.

Get a pair of headphones and plug them in, I don't really care what Cardi B is hawking at the end of a long day at work

And get off my lawn

Take on the border crisis

The Trump policy which most liberals have pointed to to show him to be a heartless xenophobe was his "build the wall" mantra. It was always silly with his "Mexico will pay for it"rhetoric but the idea of border security was right. The entire concept has been completely corrupted by them leaving the democrats in a weird spot. They were forced to try to flank the GOP so far to the left that they have basically put themselves in an untenable position.

We do need better border security, we can't ask border towns to absorb thousands of migrants daily and the idea of sanctuary cities sounds nice in theory but cities like New York and Boston don't want thousands of migrants coming in daily in practice. This is a crisis and to put the entire burden on cities like El Paso is terrible

This is a spot where Biden should actually come closer to the middle and maybe even over to the right because without a coherent policy and adequate policing, we actually can't sustain this

Take on the speaker of the house

Woke up this morning to find out there is finally a speaker of the house which happened faster a bunch go fat white dudes decided to have a jello wresting match on the floor. Matt Gaetz made himself the deciding vote once again showing that democracy very often is far from the true will of the people and too often dominated by the wackos.
But anyway, I'm sure they will call for McCarthy's head in the first few weeks and we can do this entire thing again

Take on the pervert priest with the white power symbol

We know George Santos is a total fraud but he also seems to be a bit confused and I'm not making about his sexuality. The openly gay, pseudo Jewish, Brazilian born incoming congressman dressed like a pervert priest today and decided to vote for Kevin McCarthy while flashing the white power QAnnon symbol. I don't quite know what we know about him but I do know that whatever he claims to be part of his history is basically pure fiction and the idiot voters in New York's 3rd district fell for it hook-line and sinker.

Take on the 12 votes to nowhere

Kevin McCarthy is a complete joke and it's time for somebody to tell this dude to not just give up this fight but that he should move aside and resign his seat not just his hope for a leadership role. Even if he somehow pulls together 218 votes, it will be on the back of so many concessions that basically every time he takes a leak, BoBo can grab the gavel and try to stick it up Matt Gaetz' ass. If we though the government was dysfunctional before, wait till we get a completely weakened speaker.

Take on the US Soccer blackmail

There is no more appropriate end to the United States' relatively early exit from the World Cup than the ness that emerges that Gregg Berhakter was being blackmailed by the parents of one of his players because they wanted their son to get into the starting lineup.
We can talk about soccer not being a national sport, about losing kids to football and basketball and about the cost of club soccer making it unaffordable for a large portion of our population but nothing explains our overall soccer failures more clearly than the over zealous nature of soccer parents. We never let the game breath, we constantly want more from every portion of it and we don't allow the kids to just be soccer playing kids And apparently the same thing goes for not so young kids on the national stage.

Take on the solution for McCarthy

Kevin McCarthy will never be speaker again mostly because he's a two faced lying weasel whose back stabbing and back tracking hs finally caught up with him. After three consecutive votes where he actually managed to lose voters along the way, it's become apparent that the crazies on the right will not concede

This is where the Democrats need to step up, they must offer up a handful of votes to secure McCarthy's leadership role in exchange for a few committee chairmanships. This will accomplish two things

- they get a few key committees
- it will further splinter the republicans party which -if it divides into two- will have a hard time staying all that viable.

Take on the NFL

When the NFL was confronted by possibly one of the most tragic events I it's history, it's first instinct was…..to give the teams five minutes to warmup to set again?? Roger Goodell is turning himself into Vince McMahon with his disregard for player safety and his general disdain for human life.

It took the two head coaches to intervene to avoid big advertisements moneys to get in the way of a human tragedy.

The NFL sucks

Take on the Jets.

Mike F'n White turned into F'n Mike White as the clock stuck midnight. Nobody really expected White to be the next Peyton Manning but for the Jets who have shuffled through Mark and Geno and Sam and Zack, he felt like a bit of hope. One thing the Jets should be sure of, they as an organization have no ability to draft and develop a quarterback. They don't have the acumen to spot talent, they don't have the sound planning to put them in the right situation and they are always too quick to anoint them the next Broadway Joe.
Time to realize that their best chance might be to go the Kirk Cousins route. Won't actually get you to anywhere near a Super Bowl but at least you can appear competent for the first 13-14 weeks of the season.