Take on the walking duck

I can't stand feeling like I am stuck behind a semi as I try to get to
work. I can't stand people who waddle down the street but especially
when you burn my retinas with your choice in clothing.
Can somebody explain why a man would EVER wear purple pants,
especially when they look like they should be wearing a girdle. I
walk down the street last week and see this mass of humanity waddling
in front of me

I don't know why it bothers me but it is mainly because this blob of
humanity blocked me from getting to work on time with his yellow murse
and what looks like night be a brassier under that baloney skin
golf-shirt