license to print money

Traffic was a total mess in NYC yesterday and it wasn’t only because Obama was speaking in the Great Hall at Cooper Union. When I left work 6th avenue was blocked off since an even bigger event was being held at Radio City.


So as President Obama spent the morning chiding the banking industry for trying ruining the US financial markets while at the same time the NFL doing what they do best.. basically printing US Currency.

The NFL took their annual rookie draft and broadcast it in prime-time which basically meant every red-blooded American male (and some females too) said no to date-night and spent four hours glued to their televisions sets. The NFL draft was once held in some conference room at an airport Holiday-Inn to an all-out must-watch event broadcast live on two channels each dedicating 100’s of hours to its full coverage and analysis. After all the mock-drafts, the speculation, the combine, Gruden’s QB school and putting my daughter to bed it’s finally time..

I’m not a big enough nerd to give you an analysis on every pick and trade that happened but I can give you some of the blow-by-blow from watching the boob-tube.

TOR blogging the draft on ESPN

7:30 pm the draft starts as I crack open a cold seltzer water with my omelet.. It’s going to be a crazy night and I need to stay hydrated

7:40 pm. The Rams draft Mathew Stafford….. or maybe it was Sam Bradford, everybody yawns.. If you scramble their letters you can almost come up with “hard strap-on”

7:50 pm After Suh goes to the Lions, Gerald McCoy gets picked by the Bucs and nearly tackles commissioner Roger Goodell on the stage.

8:00pm Righetti takes a long leak

8:10pm how many players out of the state of Oklahoma will get taken in the first two hours???

8:20 PM first view of Jimmy Clausen’s war-room.. it looks like he needs to take a shit but at least he’s got Erin Andrews to clean up the mess.

8:30 PM some LB from Alabama named McClain gets picked by the Raiders, my buddy who is a Giant fan just had a coronary. I did notice that when they cut to his war-room out in Alabama somewhere that he was surrounded by hot young white-chicks. I don’t trust any player who doesn’t have the sense to sit there with his parents, you can’t be sitting there with only entourage, not in Goodell’s league Something tells me that although he wasn’t at the draft to be personally congratulated by Goodell, he’ll be having some conversations with him soon.

8:40PM The Bills take CJ Spiller which now means they have drafted a first-round RB every other year although somehow they haven’t been able to amass the next Jim Brown, Barry Sanders and Ladanian Tomlinson. Spiller’s fantasy value goes into the sh!tter.

8:50 PM.. they just cut to the Tim Tebow war-room, it looks like an outtake for Jersey Shore II.

9:00 PM.. First of all Steve Young looks like he should be part of a class-action suit against the NFL for how they ignored the after-effects of concussions on their former stars. Steve Young is about 9 yards short of a first down, he’s completely lost any sensibility or rational, it’s as if you are sitting in a room with your 90 year old grandfather who keeps yelling random comments out. It also doesn’t help that for some reason he needs to wear TWO ear-pieces. Fellow ESPN analyst Tom Jackson who kept getting interrupted by Young looked like he was going to stab Young in the throat with his BIC pen.

9:10pm .. there are a ton of trades and ESPN keeps screwing them up, either the Broncos are trading up or down but they are moving. It’s like Josh McDaniels and Bill Bellichick are playing a game of trading chicken. Neither guy may make a pick at all today.

9:15pm. Jimmy Clausen still looks like he is taking a shit. Goodell snickers as he reads some pick. John Gruden is the best guy on this set, I think there might be Weekend at Bernie’s situation going on with Mel Kiper.

9:30PM.. some RB from Fresno State goes to the Chargers and everybody's Fantasty Rookie drafts are thrown for a loop

9:40 PM  I make it over to the Pictures that May or MayNot Rule and somehow I lose myself for about an hour. I check the draft-board and there were a bunch of defensive players taken all of whom could suck

10:30PM.. Adam Schefter reports that if the Bengals draft Dez Bryant that Ochocinco has offered to live with him. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.. instead they take a Tight-End because taking a TE in the first round always works out so well.

10:40PM.. After the Cowboys draft WR Dez Bryant, Steve Young keeps referring to Miles Austin as Austin Miles. Tom Jackson starts applauding in the middle of it.

10:50PM. The Packers take some big white lineman from Iowa.. Nobody says it but everybody thinks it makes sense and I’m not talking about the need for a lineman.

11:00PM WOW.. "TIM TEBOW IS NO 1 MILE CLOSER TO GOD"…RaiderNation

11:10PM The Jets are about to draft.. I crack open another Seltzer water

11:20PM.. Righetti is excited about Kyle Wilson.. not exactly sure but I like the fact the Jets draft towards their strengths. Sexy Rexy is the man

11:30PM.. The Colts keep getting better ..and more boring

11:40PM.. how great would it be if Drew Brees turns over that card and it says “Jimmy Clausen”

11:50 PM Although Jimmy Clausen had a tough night, I hope he built a peep-hole into the guest bedroom

Midnight.. Post Game Live with Bill Daugherty has been superseded by a special edition of NY Football tonight on 1050.. I’m a happy camper.