Take on the family photo

Tiffany got married today and all eyes were won the Trump family photo where Papa Trump stood with his doofy smile and the thumbs up thing. He looked a little less hair dyed but typically orange Beavis and Butthead looked like they were the castoffs from Dumb and Dumber and Ivanka looked bored. The star of the show was the youngest one, who stands like a full 6 inches above his dumpy dad and very obviously was actually gathered by Melania's gardener.

Oh yeah, Tiffany was going to be the savior till
She embraced the entire MAGA thing to stay in Trump's good graces, so she's dead to me.

Take on the GOP

With two senate seats still up for grabs, the democrats seems to be in a great position to hold the chamber. The issue is going to be House which seems like a long shot now but we are hoping that we finally have the chance to end this political theater and get on with our lives. I'm so sick of McCarthy and Lindsay and Hershel and the least with the three toes. We need a change of leadership like yesterday

Take on Rupert’s take on Donnie and Ronnie

Rupert has picked sides and the orange pumpkin has been replaced with the pale eggplant. I don't think this signifies anything more than what loyal TOR reader Zeke called "Rupert being a front runner" but it does show that the big money is now on Ronnie over Donnie.

This is going to be a battle that will rage for at least a year, I'm just hoping it doesn't dissolve into a Jello wrestling match.

Take on Donnie versus Ronnie

The battle between Donny T and Ronny D is about to get real and watching these two egotistical maniacs beat the crap out of each other sounds lovely. Trump has decided he hates DeSantis and Ronnie likely has no idea why and keeps asking him out on dates and wonders why he keeps getting stood up

Take on the election.

Election results are rolling in and the red wave we were dreading hasn't exactly happened. We're disappointment in Florida (again) which has proved to be the Lucy with the football state for democracy's forever.

Then I came across the NY races to see if that lunatic Zeplin or Zelpen or whatever was going to get the upset and then saw that Chuck Schumer won which surprised me mostly because I did not even know he was running.


It's crazy how some of these races get so much press while other ones are basically forgotten Anyway, let's hope the results for tonight keep the senate in play

Take on Ted Cruz attack

Ted Cruz is such a dork that people are literally throwing the worst alcohol they can find at him. He's standing on some float during the Astros parade to mark their cheating ways and out of the blue somebody hurled a White Claw at him. I'm against violence but in this case we may need to give this guy a break.

I don't think anybody under the influence of a White Claw can be expected to act responsibly, the sheer act of drinking that diluted piss tells you that there is a severe lack of judgment.
It's like trying to arrest a mentally handicapped person, at some point you have to realize what you are dealing with.

Take on crybaby Elon

Elon is such a baby. Any criticism he gets, is immediately met with Trump level frustration and retaliation and the more you think about it, the more obvious it is that the only reason he bought Twitter was to silence his critics.

So much for free speech

Take on Favre

Nobody was happier that Kyrie went antisemitic batshit crazy than the old gunslinger from Mississippi. It's not just that he probably believes everything Kyrie says but it's the fact that it got him off of the front pages. We all remember him fondly for the nerves of steel and his never say never mentality on the field but when you dig just a little deeper he's a drug abusing, Trump loving, welfare stealing, war loving jackass and shouldn't be loved but loathed

Plus he jacked the Jets

Take on Elon

Elon Musk spent $44billion with due diligence and has since decided to cut half the staff, charge the content creators for their work and made some adjustments to let readers add context. This might have been something that's been around a while but I haven't seen it often…until Elon's own tweets started getting vetted on his own platform. I'm guessing that he's going to run this entire enterprise into the ground within 2 years, I'm talking a MySpace of Friendster style meteoric collapse.

Maybe I'm wrong but it seems the worst thing for a Twitter type platform is somebody who will try to make it into something it isn't purely for a financial payout.

Take on Kyrie

Nothing is more clear to me than that Kyrie Irving has no interest in actually playing basketball. Last year he bailed because of the vaccine thing, this year he got himself suspended for being a jackass When he was in Boston he didn't play half the time and he got himself shipped out of Cleveland after winning a championship with LeBron. I don't want to hear about talent or him doing things that nobody can imagine, the guy has been a cancer since the day he stepped onto the NBA hardwood and the chances of him actually playing anywhere near 82 games in a year are about as close to the chances the earth is actually flat.

Take in the the $8 checkmark

The way to make Twitter really profitable apparently is by cutting half the staff, getting rid of all the executives and then charging their certified users $8 per month. I'm not sure how much money this will generate but if the ones creating the content that people are coming here for were to leave out of principal, it would leave the rest of us screaming at each other which sounds like even more awful
But he's the richest person the world, so maybe his $8 plan has been well thought out and thoroughly vetted.

Take on recycling

Nothing is sadder to me than when I see a news story from a legitimate source telling me recycling is a complete sham. I'm one of the most diligent recyclers I know, often sifting through garbage to make sure they are all separated but today the Washington Post told me that is all for not. I need to rethink my entire existence if this is true.

TaKe on the Spirit Halloween meme

My kids love Halloween but I'm just happy it's over as the amount of sugar that will be distributed would turn an entire state diabetic.
But mostly I'm happy those stupid spirit costume memes can be retired as they are so incredibly lame.
The first one was funny, the second clever and the three hundredth made me want to poke my eyeballs out.

Cause like any decent internet joke, you people killed it.

Take on Round Ronny

DeSantis and Trump are about to go at it and although we all assume they will bloody each other, we know how this goes already. Trump will go after Ron hard, will find a crack in the armor and exploit it. I am not hundred percent sure what it will be but likely something about his dumpy look, his lack of pizzazz or him just looking like a guy who works at Office Depot

The one thing I am looking forward to is the nickname. You know he's working on one right now and the question will be if it's going to attack him for his appearance, his intelligence or his policy. I'm guess the first one and my vote is Round Ronny

Take on The second biggest Twitter investor

The second biggest shareholder in Twitter behind Elon is some prince from the Saudi Kingdom. The Saudi's can invest in whatever they seem fit but if Elon is so concerned about freedom of speech, maybe going to bed with The Kingdom isn't the best decision after all.

Take on the Paul Pelosi attacker

Everybody got their panties in a bunch when a SCOTUS justice wasn't able to finish desert but now one of their own has decided to beat down Paul Pelosi with a hammer. Political discourse has seemingly not been this bad since the 1850's and when the speaker of the house is getting threatened at her own house, maybe we need to stop feeding the crazies

Time to own your problems here

Take on Musky Musk

Elon Musk took over Twitter and immediately fired everybody which I guess means he'll be taking over as CEO, CFO, COO, C3PO and janitor. This sounds like an awful idea when you consider he's also trying to build cars, rockets, AI, satellites and robots and unlike all of those things, people actually care about Twitter. I suspect Twitter will collapse like the Roman Empire leaving Musk standing with no clothes on.

Take on Russell Wilson

There really is no bigger jackoff in the NFL than Russell Wilson. He spent four hiurs on a flight to Europe doing running drills in the aisle which is insanely idiotic and so for Sam annoying I wouldn't have blamed anybody from opening the emergency exit door and tossing this schmuck to the wildebeests

He's a self absorbed lunatic who always seems to think he's the smartest in the room until of course he throws an INT on the goal line. That is his story, he gets close but always gets stopped right before the big prize and we are all rooting for more of the same

Take on the Fetterman-Oz debate

I don't have a chance to watch the debate but from all I heard, watching Fetterman talk was painful. Nobody thinks it's fair to judge a man based on a stroke but it likely explains why they've hidden him in the basement for six months. Dr Oz is a total slimeball and would be incredibly dangerous but I have to guess that today, assuming nothing changes, he's got a 50/50 shot at winning based on nothing but his celebrity.

Take on 2024

With the midterms around the corner, most Americans are probably looking forward for the TV ads and constant political squabble to end. But we know better. The second the midterms are over, we will be inundated with the race for the White House. I think Iowa's caucus is like in a week, then a week later we get New Hampshire and South Carolina followed by Nevada and before we know it, we will have Trump vs Biden 2 and nobody wants either one.