Take on the Cruz-Trump love fest

I liked it better when Trump would call him Lyin' Ted and make fun of his ugly wife and imply his dad killed JFK. Not because a normal person detained that treatment but because Ted Cruz is a spineless weasel who deserves everything coming to him

Now Trump is going to go to the biggest stadium he can find in Texas (hi Jerry!!) and likely use the opportunity to talk about himself for two hours and then maybe mention Cruz for a second.

Then hopefully Cruz loses to this Beto guy and Trump goes back to bashing Cruz like a belligerent drunk at a Yankee-Red Sox game.

Take on the National Enquirer thing

I know they got the John Edwards thing right but I always assumed that was the blind squirrel finding the nut scenario.
To me the biggest mistake for Trump was to ever use the National Enquirer for anything other than the grocery store rag it is. It seems to me the only reason that the trove of Trump stories that are going to leak now have any juice is because he legitimized them by trying to buy them all. If he had ignored them -like any normal person would- it would have gotten a day of press and he could have just said it was fake news and nobody would have shrugged. But now we're all dying to find out which prostitutes he had pee on him, which babies he has fathered with illegal immigrants and which aliens have visited him at Trump Tower

Take on Jeff Sessions

Trump gets Jeff Sessions for a lot of reasons but none more than the fact he has that Alabama accent and doesn't have an Ivy League pedigree This is obviously more than a bit ironic as Trump's base very much sounds like Sessions and none of them have an Ivy League anything. But this is the world we live in, Trump gets away with anything because his fanboys can see no wrong even when they are the ones being directly insulted by Trump

Take on Pear Harbor

Trumps told Prime Minister Abe today that he remembered Pearl Harbor and anybody with a calculator knew immediately that he was full of shit. Well we know he is old but for this particular situation his sack isn't wrinkled enough because Pearl Harbor happened like a decade before he could ever claim to have remembered it.

But this is where we get caught up with facts and facts aren't important.

First of all, what the Lame Stream Media is ignoring is how is bringing up Pearl Harbor a good idea with the Prime Minister of a country which is a fierce ally?? I know Trump is beyond reproach for a large portion of the population (which in a Venn diagram completely overlaps with those who call them Japs) so maybe this is fine, but for those who were not taught in West Virginia, it's kind of not cool.

But then I thought that he is not that bright and that maybe Trump remembers when Macho Man Pearl Harbored The Ultimate Warrior which is almost the same.

Then I think about that wrestling term and wonder how the hell that is acceptable. I know these wresting fans are meatheads (sorry Zed, Eid and Conway) but you couldn't imagine that getting 9/11'd would be acceptable.

So instead of hating on Trump, we hate on Vince McMahon and his fat wife.

Take on the Trump phone call

Trump tried to call the president of Mexico to take a few bows for the new don't-call-it-NAFTA NAFTA. Of course like anything touched by Trump, this turned to crap when he could get the guy on the phone while cameras rolled. I haven't seen anything on the new trade deal but the markets approved which is nice. Now we have to hope we avoid a crisis with these stupid Chinese based tariffs which are just going to be a tax on the American consumer and a drag on the economy

Take on Trump’s lack of empathy

Everybody is up in arms about the lack of empathy trump has show towards John McCain in his last days. Actually, this is the one thing I appreciate about Trump. He is not a phony. He hated Trump while he was alive, and still does. Trump always saw the senior senator from Arizona as a complete thorn in his side. He's often criticized - and frankly insulted- him and I'd find it more troubling if today he came out with some statement about the sacrifice McCain made for his county. Trump is about one thing and that is Donald J Trump which basically means it doesn't have any room in it for anybody else, ever.

Take on The Maverick

John McCain was one of the first politicians I ever respected. This was back in the late 90s and he would be a frequent guest on Imus and was often a foil to both his own party and to the Democrats. I loved him during his first campaign for president, the time he spent before that as a POW was well established. He deserved more as he had given so much to his country but politics is at its core a dirty game and what W Bush did to him in South Carolina was what soured me on politics. His campaign eight years later as less inspirational although his comment to the one supporter who asked about Obama's being a secret Muslim is still one of the most decent things any politician has ever done. That campaign ended in part because of the cards he was dealt with Obama being a transcendent candidate but also for the mistakes me made, non bigger than his decision (or lack of push back) to Sarah Palin. You can't read about John McCain and ignore this part of this legacy.

But now, a decade later he stood up again as the Maverick when he voted down the bill thing to kill Obamacare while fighting inoperable Brian cancer, giving his final moments on a national stage back to his country and proving agin the American hero he was

I have to think Lindsey Graham is inconsolable tonight, but his puppet master has a wicked smile on his face as he'll use McCain's passing as the last step towards complete transformation to the dark side

Take on Duncan.

Duncan Hunter is going to sleep on the couch tonight. After a few days of huddling, it was decided to blame all of Duncan's campaign improprieties on his wife like the overzealous husband who gets annoyed when his wife hits Macy's with the Amex.
But this is politics in 2018 but at least things have become more clear and that is the swamp is more toxic than ever. The chances of a politician being crooked are probably somewhere in the 55% range but if you have a red hat in your closet it's 100%.

Plus what kind of name is Duncan anyway? His mother should have to serve time for giving him such a stupid first name

Take on Kellyanne

There really is no more despicable human than Kellyanne Conway and watching her avoid, dance, evade and ignore questions is infuriating and serves no good purpose as far as I can tell. The Kellyanne dance is so frustratingly unproductive it begs the question as to why you would ever give her the air to breath. An interview with her never makes the network look good, her appearance is done by her only to frustrate the host yet still CNN goes out of their way time and time again to give her airtime. She a master manipulator who has perfected the art of deceit and evasion and although it is masterful to see, it's also a lot like watching a guy get hit the nards with a rake because she is just bating these hosts to say something that she can use to show she got under their skin or worse yet something that makes her look like a victim.

The thought of her burning in hell seems too kind

Take on the bylines

The NY Times has gotten rid of their bylines and it completely irks me. I often read an article depending on who wrote it, having followed certain reporters for years and denying me this will certainly have me read less. I get the idea about trying to sterilize the news or at minimum take the reporters view or apparent bias of of it. The issue is that not all reporters are equal, there are certain reporters who have better sources, a more comprehensive history with the subject or are just plan better story tellers, all of which are reasons you may choose to read one story over another. Writers with a Pulitzer should be commended and hard working reporters breaking stories should be given the opportunity to take a bow

Although I think this was a coup from within as all these reporters were passed that Maggie Haberman had five bylines per front page while the rest of them struggled for four combined



So I'd implore the Old Gray Lady to go back to bylines.

Take on the slow news day

I've been busy at work all day and haven't had a chance to check my twitter timeline or log onto NYTimes.com, so I figure today is as good a day as any to discuss the oddity that are the "only hand washing allowed in bathroom sink"'sign they have up at Pret A Manger

What the hell are the employees washing in the bathroom?  The cucumbers, their cucumbers or the egg salad?   I'm not sure I need to think about that as I'm about to chow down on an egg salad and cucumber sandwich which was rung up by a nice young cashier with a wicked smile on his face

Anyway, today is the kind of day we were all kind of expecting when 50 million Americans -and a few Russians- decided it was a good idea to elect a mob backed conman to run our country

Thanks America, you really know how to make something great again!!

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Rudy Bot

I have a working theory which is gaining some traction in my own head. Remember how in the 80's people like Cindy Adams would get calls from "John Barron" to give her updates on the triumphs of Donald Trump? The tapes always sounded an awful lot like the Queens businessman and were always complimentary about the money he had, the women he was needing and the lifestyle he was able to keep up.

Well the new John Barron might be Rudy Giuliani, Have you noticed how much Rudy's face has changed in the last few years, it's like he is wearing a Halloween mask. He's gotten so much fatter, his teeth look completely odd, his eyes are pulled back farther into his newly fat face, his mannerisms aren't even natural anymore. He has also got conspicuously orange and is saying more asinine things by the way and has gone complete scorched earth on his own reputation.

I honestly don't think anybody has seen Trump and Rudy in the same place in years.

Take on Married to the Mob

Trump keeps making mob references in regards to the Special Council and I think we are seating to figure out how this movie ends. See all the great Mob movies end with some tragedy and I have to think this one is going to take a stake right to the heart of the family. And you just know that Eric, the dumb one, is going to get whacked. Trump will eventually fall and likely spend his later years trying to convince the warden to put a tanning bed in his cell which Melania tries to sneak him a file in a birthday cake. Don Jr. will do something stupid again and will have the cleanest colon in New York and Jared will jump to his demise from 666 5th Avenue. Rudy will go fishing and become the bait, The Mooch will end up in a dumpster and Ivanka will try to carry on the Trump legacy but her business acumen will prove futile without the help of Russian money.

Take on Melania.

Trump replaced all of Melania's furniture with some of the draconian gold stuff he loves which is the kind of thing that only Trump would be able to get away with. Any normal husband knows full well that the decisions for furniture are not the thing you go to war over but we're not dealing with a normal husband. It also begs the question, why do we need a full fledged article featuring her? She does have a few moments where she seems to go against Trump, but it always seems very measured and usually when he's going to be out of town for a while but let's never forget that she enabled him including perpetuating the Obama born in Kenya thing.
The one thing I did appreciate was that apparently Trump would have her deported if she ever filed for divorce, that would turn the left on its head

enabled

take on Mitch's suit

Mitch McConnell showed up in congress today looking like a pale turtle in a mustard suit.  The pale turtle portion isn't any different but the tan suit really is atrocious..   I remember when Obama wore a tan suit once and the GOP lost their collective shits as it just wasn't presidential.   This is the same GOP who seems to look the other way with a president who calls former staffers dogs, is on tape making misogynistic comments embracing sexual assault and who somehow got through the GOP primary after calling Ted Cruz's wife a slob..

you keep rocking that suit Mitch, maybe try a seersucker suit next 

Take on that dumb parade

So that stupid parade isn't going to happen this year because after some careful consideration the Fepartment of Defense figures it would cost $100 million dollars which is about 10 times what Trump promised. So we won't have to watch our troops march done Pennsylvania Avenue to salute King Trump which is nice but what is especially great is that they placated old Don with the "sometime in 2019" which is shorthand for "never"

Take on Trump’s love of black people.

Don't worry everybody, the fact that Trump doesn't employ a single black person as a senior White House staff member isn't something to worry about because, believe me, Trump loves black people and they love him

Look at the black employment numbers, they blow away Obama's according to Big Huck. Look at the friends that Trump keeps (Don King, Kanye Kardashian, Dennis Rodman) all of whom are upstanding citizens. Look at the African American people who have endorsed him (Ben Carson and that funny Sheriff) and tell me that he doesn't love black people with a passion. Forget his "good people on both sides" thing, they was out of context. The Central Park 5 was just about keeping justice. The lawsuits against Fred and Don were just people trying to bring the men down. The comments about Omarosa are just unfortunate. He just said he likes Mike Jordan and Jordan agreed that he likes himself too.

Take on Click Bait

I'm a sucker for click-bait, I think we all are at some level.
"See the X rated photo the Kardashian's don't want you to see"
"The top 22 times a sporting event was interrupted by spontaneous nudity"
"The four greatest NBA stars to never win a championship in the NBA OR in college"
"You'll never believe what Rudy from the Cosby Show looks like now"

Most days I can muster the will power to avoid clicking or it but not to today.

Today's headline in the DailyNews stating that President Trump's "coke habit" was the cause of his metal and physical decline was such a doozy it had me totally pegged.

Of course like most ClickBait this thing left me disappointed (and with a bunch of weird pop up ads). Trump's coke habit is apparently Diet Coke which isn't news -and very Francesca-esque.
The big reveal was that Trump is a disgusting pig who drinks vast amounts of soda and tans daily, which again isn't news to anybody.

Next thing they will tell us is that he has hair plugs

Take on QAnon

I'm one who actually embraces conspiracy theories notnbecause I think they deserve serious airtime or political discussion but because it's the easiest way to determine which people we need to watch out for. People who are dumb enough to buy into 9/11 was an inside job, pizzagate, sandy hook being a set up or just about anything then it's like Alex Jones has ever said, should be vilified and made to wear a Scarlett letter AJ.
Now I find we have a new form of crazies, the ones who go with this QAnok thing which sounds like a fashion magazine about Steve Bannon which nobody wants to read. I know very little about them but they seem frightening in that these guys are a cross between Alex Jones and Flat Earthers.

Time to round up all the believers and ship them off to tinfoil Island.

Take on the Trump-Harley fued

I'm old enough to remember when Republicans decried Obama for picking favorites when it came to a little solar company out of California. Trump isn't picking favorites in his war with Harley Davidson, he's picking the losers. Nothing like the president of a country getting his hands dirty for a decision made by a company for the benefit of said company, especially since that decision was prompted by shortsighted trade war our president decided to start. But this is what Trump does, he picks losers instead of winners, he roots for failure not success and he has never met a camera he didn't want to make love to with his puny little hands.