Take on seeing it First Hand

Trump sucks, this is a known fact by now but I actually see nothing wrong with a few of the things he's getting hit with as related to his reaction to Harvey

- he didn't meet with victims, I get that this makes for a nice photo-op and should be something that people do out of the goodness of their heart but it's not actually necessary. Whether Trump hugs a woman who lost her home or talks to a kid who lost his dog does not make a real difference in the big picture. We already know that Trump doesn't have any real compassion and as a germaphobe he's not actually going to touch these wet people. He sucks and is a horrid human but it's almost better that he doesn't try because he'd inevitable look disgusted which won't help.

- he said he saw it "first hand" when, in fact, he was nowhere near the devastation. Again, who cares? This is a figure of speech and for a guy like Trump who has a very limited vocabulary it's just another verbal crutch like "greatest", "believe me" or "beautiful".
I don't care that he wasn't standing in three foot water putting up sand bags, he has to be looking at the bigger picture and finding ways to get FEMA, the Army Corp of Engineers and local towns every resource they need.
What actually happened was about right, Jun standing on a fire truck 50 mikes away for a speech. If he'd gone closer he would have gotten people screaming that he's hindering the relief efforts, if he doesn't come at all he gets labeled as out-of-touch. This was fine and his version works for me

He still sucks

Take on the FoxNews poll.

When a FoxNews poll tells you that Trump is tearing the country apart, you know we're in trouble. His response to Harvey is probably the highlight of his tenure and even that has been lukewarm. Now he has set his sights on tax reform which, if it is anything like his repeal and replace promise, will fall flat. But this is Trump, his entire strategy is to talk out of his gigantic ass and hope that he gets press coverage. If he gets pressed for details he tells you to believe him and that it will be great and big and beautiful and then we'll all focus on another issue. But over time, it does take a toll on the American people even the ones who voted for this guy

I have neighbors who live up the street who this week replaced their gigantic Trump flag with an Alabama football flag. It's the only time I was happy to see somebody try to flaunt Nick Saban, who might have met his match in doucebaggary with Trump.

Take on Melania's 5 inch heels

Donald and Melania Trump headed to Texas today to tour the devastation and the TOR readership has to appreciate the fact that Melania got on a plane wearing 5 inch stilettos.    Nothing tells a city ravaged by a 500 year storm that you care like willing to get your Jimmy Choos wet and Melania proves again that she cares about the people of this country..

And thank god that she does, who wants their First Lady looking dumpy and droopy?  We want to exude confidence and strength and nothing makes a girl's body go BANG BANG like 5 inch heels..

Take on Obama

Whenever our president does something that embarrasses our country, it's important to realize that he follows a man who has show less respect for the office than just about anybody.
Trump may have colluded with Russians, he just pardoned a sheriff who stood in defiance of a judges order, he's refused to disclose his business interest, he tweets about his victory during a major storm on one of our country's largest cities

But remember Obummer. This guy wore a tan suit at a press conference, you really can't be a worse person to lead this country and the fact that he was likely not born here is just another sign of his disdain for the red white and blue
This guy also had a cup of coffee while saluting a soldier, he once even said he liked Jay-Z.
Then he had the audacity to try to give all our citizens health care, what a horrid human

This guy so constantly tried to move our country so far left it may as well have been France West.

He is a vile human and we can only be happy that he's gone.

Take on the flood commander

With one of our largest cities under siege by an unprecedented storm, our commander in chief took the opportunity to tweet about visiting a completely different - and completely flood free- state. The level of tone-deafness with this man is just unreal, Houston is under a Harvey barrage and Trump finds time to make sure he pushes a book by that crazy sherif, reminds us all that the Mexicans will be paying for a wall nobody wants and they won't pay for and wants to take yet another victory lap for November.
I get that his ego needs constant stroking but when we are facing a true national crisis, you'd hope he'd have a bit of class but this is Trump and class goes together with him about as well as it does summertime

Thanks America

Take on Lyin' Ted's inconsistency

It's amazing how awful a human Ted Cruz proves to be every. single. day. Not only does he look like the zodiac killer, he acts like a psychopath.

When Superstorm Sandy devastated the North East, Ted. Cruz was there with the big NO banner, but with his home state under threat of similar damage, he has already gone to congress for some kind of major relief bill. I get that he is doing what is right for his constituents, but the fact that he got on his soap box for political tea party theater five years ago tells yuh what he really cares about and it certainly isn't anything other than Ted Cruz's political career

This same Ted Cruz sat in some crappy badly lit no descript office building to ask voters to support a man who should have stood against everything Cruz claims to stand for and after Trump tried to tie Lyin' Ted's old man to the JKF assassination and called his wife Miss Piggy.

Take on the meteorologist in chief

Trump is like a child in that he feels the need to tell you whenever he is doing something right. My three year old tells me she finished her whole lunch, my five year old tells me she brushed her teeth and my president tells me he arrived at Camp David and has been briefed on the hurricane. A storm which is the biggest story in he country right now.

But in fine Trump tradition he screws up and calls it a Class 3 storm instead of a Category 3 but we know he's not one for details

Take on Roger Stone's Violent Erection

Roger Stone, one quarter of the Fab Four (Stone, Page, Flynn and Manafort) came out today and predicted a violent erection if Trump go impeached. I can't talk you what sounds scarier than that dude jacked up on a fistful of Cialis but I can't think of it. I'm also not sure why a violet erection is suppose to be but I guess he's likely trying to beat Yu with it like it's a hammer or something.
We know that the dude is a cursing, self described sycophant with a bad temper Now add his raging erection and the call girls in his area better watch out because he has a bad attitude a wad of twenties and he's ready to party.

Wait, what? He said violent insurrection? That's much less interesting although a much more pleasant visual.

Take on the Steele Dossier

Nobody really doubts that the Steele Dossier bombshell is basically true. Many of the actors, events and scandals have started to prove out but the only aspect anybody really cares about are the pee tapes.

I don't think anybody thinks that there isn't at least a decent chance that the pee tapes are real, honestly I don't think anybody would be really surprised if they were real and at this point the sting has to be gone including for the Russians.

So if this pee tape is real, the blackmail part has to be gone, so now we just want to see it to see little donald holding his little donald as some Russian prostitute pees in his mouth

Take on Sexy Rexy

The differences between Rex Ryan and Rex Tillerson are

- Rex Ryan looks like a party, Rex Tillerson looks like the guy who calls the cops on the party

-Rex Ryan knows defense, Rex Tillerson says that we won't won't but at least the Taliban will not win, either

- Rex Ryan palls around with his idiot brother and sometimes sits in his shadow, Rex Tillerson palls around with Trump's son in law and always sits in his shadow.

- Rex Ryan is loved by his players, Rex Tillerson has yet to have 90% of his staff filled

-Rex Ryan looks like he ate his lapband, Rex Tillerson looks like he could use one

- Rex Ryan has a huge ego, Rex Tillerson has to swallow his

- Rex Ryan was fired by Woody Johnson, Rex Tillerson just hired Woody to be the ambassador to Ireland

They both suck

Take on the Solar Presidential Eclipse

For weeks we've heard newscasters, teachers and mothers warn us to not look directly into the eclipse and of course today there were thousands of people starting directly into the sun in New York City.   I walked outside at about 2:30 and a woman says, "look north and you can see the reflection of the sun in the building"   Beyond my better judgment, I instinctively look up and immediately my eyeballs burn.   I've been seeing spots in front of my eyes for the last two hours, so if nothing else, Dr. Joseph Delarusa will find another customer out of this thing..   I did see a street vendor selling the glasses but he was also selling hot-dogs and they looked a bit flimsy, so decided to go back inside to soak my eyeballs in some vinegar. 

But I wasn't the only one dumb enough to look up without those stupid 3D glasses, our president, a man who has proclaimed himself to be one of the smartest people on earth, was standing on that little balcony of the White House staring directly into the sun.   This can only be a sign of brilliance or compete stupidity and I'm gambling on the latter. 

Take on the USS John McCain crash

Maybe Trump misheard the question, maybe he thought they were talking about John McCain's personal boat or maybe he is a horrible human but Trump's response of "that's too bad" when he was told about the USD John McCain crashing with a merchant vessel is a bit odd.
It's odd how there seem to be a lot more boat crashes with our Navy recently, it might be time for them to consider the triple option or something because they are crashing into other boats at an alarming pace the last few months

But you just know that if this was he USS Donald J Trump that he'd be sending over special forces right now.

Take on the heel

Trump was the white knight to many, sadly most of them belong to groups who probably have white knights in their name but still there must have been some (extremely gullible) good people who thought his message of swamp draining was powerful enough to pull the lever for somebody as unqualified and unprofessional as him. Anybody who consistently tells you how smart he is, is the level of self importance that you should fear if the guy was running for dog catcher.

But then when he does something like today when he meant to heal the world but instead told the world to heel, you wonder if it was a bit Freudian. We know what he thinks of the people in this country, he thinks they are all below him yet somehow they constantly come back to pray at the golden plated altar of Trump.

This is not your drunken uncle, this is the president of the United States. A guy who doesn't know the difference between heal and heel is he leader of the free world.


Thanks 'Merica

take on Trump's team of Rivals

Ding Dong the Fat Man is  dead.

As predicted in this exact newspaper, the end of Steve Bannon happened and it was as glorious as any of them.     The issue though is that he might actually do more for Trump as an unofficial surrogate from the outside than he was able to do on the inside but we'll take it..

 

Six months ago when all was well and good in TrumpLand, a great photo was taken of the major power players in the Trump White House.    From that photo we have lost Priebus, Bannon, Flynn and the Easter Bunny.    Only Pence and Trump remain and you know that isn't a happy marriage. 

But those aren't the only ones, we can add to that The Mooch, Mike "the anti-Mooch" Dubke,  Katie Walsh and some dude named Walter Shaub, too.  

Add to that Obama holdouts, Comey, Yates and Preet and you have a softball team.

So how would that softball team lineup look

Flynn  LCF

Mooch SS

Comey 1B

Spicer  RF

Walsh  3^rd

Yates  RCF

Priebus 2^nd

Bannon  DH

Dubke   C

Shaub  LF

 

Preet  the book

Take on the last days of Bannon

Today might very well mark the last day for Stephen Bannon, the divisive presidential advisor who seems to feed Trump's obsession with conspiracy and lunacy

Here is what is good about Bannon leaving
- he's a vile human,
- his level of vileness is not just his character but his physical appearance. He looks like a homeless guy slouched over on the platform at Union Square screaming 9-11 was an inside job
- his complexion looks the same as the complexion of a dude my aunt dated had, he was a fall down drunk.


Here is what is bad about Bannon leaving
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Take on Ivanka's out

Sorry Ivanka, it doesn't work that way. When you are a senior advisor to a president, you don't pick and choose which issues you will be held accountable for and when you have been a campaign surrogate that accountability actually runs deeper. Ivanka has to realize her father is a repulsive human and a horrid human being with no moral compass but still she hitches her wagon to the family crest and enjoys all that comes with it, if you do that and you defend his actions and his words then own all of it.
The idea of "except for him being a hateful, bigoted small minded man-child, he's actually a really good person at heart" doesn't play well with me

So sorry Ivanka, you use the name you take the game, or in your case the infamy

Take on unscripted Trump

Glad we got rid of the Mooch with a guy who could reign in Trump

As somebody just observed, our president takes one step forward on Monday to only step back 167 years on Tuesday. We really live in strange times, times when something as politically simple as denouncing a bunch of new-nazis and KKK members becomes a chore that our president cannot possibly undertake.

Trump said today that the Alt-Left was in part to blame for Charlottesville, which is exactly how he played the FakeNews thing. He takes something that he and his followers are accused of and turns in 180 degrees and tries to get it to stick to you. But I'm guessing it won't work because, well, those guys are literally Nazis.

But the best line of the Q&A was the following

Trump: "I looked the night before, if you look, there were people protesting very quietly the taking down of the statue of Robert E. Lee."

He was right with this, those guys carrying the torches were just trying to illuminate the statue for for one more night. Nothing sinister in their behavior at all.


I was happy to hear that Trump owns a winery right in Charlottesville, seems like he attracts a certain kind of harvest pest.

Take on Opiates

There is not much that Chris Christie and I have in common, he likes the Cowboys and I'm a Jets fan, he likes the Mets and I hate baseball, he is a loudmouth obese blowhard and, well I guess we do have a few things in common.
One thing Big Chris is dead right on is in addition to his love of Bruce is the opiate epidemic which he rightfully convinced Trump to call a national crisis. Big Chris knows a thing or two about addiction and he has been on this for some time, I always assumed it was more a rural America thing but lately it's right in my face. I've worked in New York City for 20 years and lived there for 14 and not until this summer have I seen such blatant depravity on the streets.
It started with the loosening of the marijuana laws, there isn't a day that goes by when I walk by and don't smell some fresh herb mixed with the aroma of the peanut vendor and the dirty dog guy.

But weed is basically harmless, what I'm seeing now is much worse. I have literally seen people camped out on old mattresses by my office shooting up in broad daylight. I had never in my 41 years of life seen heroin but two weeks ago at 8:45 in the morning I saw one guy inject another with a needle which looked like it came out of the Trainspotting bathroom. We're not talking about a dark alley or an abandoned park, this is 6th avenue in midtown Manhattan.
Today I saw a guy laid out on 36th street in the middle of sidewalk. Last week I saw a woman in her late twenties propped up and past out right by Port Authority.
This isn't some rural problem anymore and it's getting worse by the day.

Take on the Mooch's mother

You have to love The Mooch, the guy just keeps bringing it. He laid low for a week after getting axed by TeflonDon but now is coming back to cash in on 15 more minutes. But today he retweeted some guy who told him that he's the kind of guy any mother would be proud of and the only mother I could think of was the mother of the kid he just had. This sick bastard sent a 'congrats' text message when she cam out of labor which isn't even something you'd do for a coworker. The only mother that would love The Mooch is the type with the F epithet after the mother part.

Take on Trump's non statement statement

Our president has been called a brilliant politician by some but when he is given meatball to hit out of the park, he can't even give it a real effort. This is Donald Trump, a guy who was never afraid to speak his mind, cowering to the alt-right neon nazi faction of his party. You can't understand how he doesn't just knock the movement, it's the most benign political move you can make and still he can't.
But what was most troubling was the countless GOP members who I saw post today about there being no place for white supremacy in our country but hardly anybody actually took the president on. They all beat around the bush but nobody called him out for stroking the white supremacist fire and you know that none of them will actually do anything other than wait to see if the tides turn on Trump nationally to a point he is a sinking ship and that point they will all come out to feed off the carcass