Take on the Olympic team

There is no dumber decision than leaving your biggest star off of the Olympic roster. When you are 12 deep, and you have a player of Caitlyn's caliber you don't overthink it and you make sure she's on the team and ride her all the way into a gold medal but as usually the US Olympic committee or the US/ Women's basketball makes decisions that have no rhyme or reason. This is akin to Jordan forcing Isiah off of the Dream Team.

Take on Bad Boys

I've never seen the Kardashian, I've never seen any of the Fast and Furious things and I've also never seen any of the Bay Boys franchise. I don't judge those who have (actually I do) but I'm just shocked what they are up to the fourth installment of the Bad Boys thing, I'm not sure I knew there was more than one

Take on Alex Jones

There is no bigger piece of trash than Alex Jones and I've often thought burning in hell while wearing kerosene underpants would be a fate too easy. When he was told to liquidate his assets to pay the Sandy Hook families, he cried like the little whiny baby he is.

Take on the 4 to 10 hour hotel

I'm no advertising guru but these leaflets hung up on graffiti covered lamp posts and electrical boxes offering a hotel for 4 hours or so isn't exactly catching my eye. Well it does catch my eye but I cannot possibly imagine spending even a dollar for whatever prostitute riddled fleabag place this is.

Take on the Yankee patch

The Yankees are advertising that you can get some insurance patch added to your jersey for a cost of $15. I can't imagine in what world I'd pay a company extra to advertises for them. Maybe I'm a baseball purist but the Yankee uniform should be pinstriped with an interlocking NY and a number of the back, that's it. Maybe a number on the sleeve to commemorate the passing of a Yankee great but that is absolutely it

No weird colors
No stupid insurance sticker on the sleeve
And definitely no name on the back

Take on the $500M swindle

Elon Musk sending Nvidia chips from Tesla to X is on brand for a guy who has no respect for boundaries. Not only is this likely highly illegal as he's using a public companies monies to send $500M worth of materials to a private company. But like most thing Musk, he doesn't seem to care

Take on the Berkshire Hathaway collapse

The world felt like it was going to collapse today when it appeared like Berkshire Hathaway lost like 99% of its value. It was an obvious glitch but it didc for a second, scare the entire world into thinking we were heading towards a huge meltdown.

Take on Rupert Murdoch fifth time

Rupert Murdoch got married for the fifth time which will mean he will get divorced for a fifth time within the next few months. I don't really care as he's a horrid human but the idea that this guy just keep ticking with his winkie juiced.

He's awful human

Take on the upside down flag

I'm old enough to remember when the right went nuts because a black quarterback kneeled for the flag. Today these same psycho hacks are turning the same flag upside down to show their everlasting love for a serial adulterer and liar. I'm so sick of this country and its hypocrisy.

The in the front page headlines

The Daily News, New York Times and Wall Street Journal all blasted their readers with some version of "guilty" in their front page. The New York Post on the other hand thought it was better to editorialize and cry about the conviction. It's not shocking out of a NewsCorp vehicle but still they'd even have to admit that covering this in any way other than straight news is troubling..then again they aren't anything close to news.

Take on the conviction

Donald Trump was convicted this afternoon and although it doesn't really matter, it sort of does. This guy has spent his entire life evading responsibility for his actions and today, for the first time, he was forced to face the music. He's going to appeal, we know that, and maybe he'll get off but for now we all know that he's a convicted criminal and nobody in their right mind should ever vote for this guy for anything.

Take on the verdict

The results won't matter, regardless if he's found guilty, not guilty or the entire thing is a hung jury, Trump will prevail. He'll either say it is a sham judgment or say he always said he did nothing wrong but either way he will fundraise the hell out of this thing. I don't think it matters anymore, nobody who has any sense will vote for him before or after and people who are under his spell will continue to be.

Take on the missing family members at the Trump trial.

Some of Trump's family have avoided the court while Agent Orange sat for judgment for this hush money trial. We know that Trump cannot ever hope to walk totally free as he will be facing trials for the rest of his miserable life. The biggest challenge is that if he beats any of them, or gets a split decisions, he will become even more intolerable than he is now.

Take on Florida priest biting woman who grabbed Holy Communion wafers

Most of the time the only thing we have to worry about with priests is them not trying to diddle underaged boys but in Florida they have a new issue. Apparently a priest bit a parishioner who tried to stick their hand in the communion wafer jar. I can't totally follow the story but the woman offender, apparently thought that the communion line was an all you could eat offering.

Take on the Libertarian convention

Trump was booed at the Libertarian convention as they realized he was neither a libertarian, a liberal or a librarian. We don't know why he would ever think this would be a natural fit for him as almost everything he speaks about his authoritarian but then again, we already mentioned that he wouldn't be confused for a librarian

Take on the upside down flag

If it was Sotamayor or Kagan who was flying an upside down flag, the right would go nuts and call her a traitor but the fact that it's Sam Alito and his wife allows the right to twist their expectations so as to make guy believe this is somehow patriotic. Absolute horse crap

Take on the ‘Super Size Me,’ guys Dies Al

When I heard the supersize me guy does at the age of 53x I wasn't shocked. Shoot I wasn't even slightly surprised. We know this dude had a bunch of issues but this experience of nothing but BigMacs is one I sort of did myself a few
years back when I ate nothing but Mexican cantina and FarCat for a semester and subsequently put in 50lvs.

Take on the McDonald's plan to get rid of soda machines and free refills

Nothing made me happier as a kid than walking to a McDonalds and refilling my fountain drink a dozen times. I remember being able to walk out with a drink, fried and Big Mac for like $5 which now seems totally surreal. I also put on 40 pounds from the day I graduated high school to the day I graduated college, so maybe these days weren't all that great.

Take on the classified documents case

Trump will get away with the classified documents case not because he's innocent but because it sounds like his counsel has convinced they judge that the entire case will be too complicated for a jury. I have no idea where this leads but I'm sure there is an angle that lets Trump off the hook….again.

Take on the Trump video referencing ‘unified Reich,’ but his Nazi allusions are long-standing CNN Politics

How can we possibly have the leading candidate for president post a video about a unified reich and it's almost. It mentioned. We know Trump is a bona fide Nazi but the fact he's so comfortable dabbling in nazi propaganda kind of goes back to the old adage that if it smells like a Nazi, looks like a Nazi and acts like a Nazi…probably a Nazi.

Take on Trump boasting about having sex with his friends’ wives

Michael Wolff's new book on Trump goes into the detaining him putting friend's wives on a secret call to listen in to Trump trying to convince their unsuspecting husbands to cheat on them, which was all a sinister plot for Trump to bag those married chicks.
Nobody in incident in that situation, not the husbands who apparently are all too excited to partake and definitely not the women who see their sleazy husbands do what they do and decided to get them back by sleeping with Trump.
But of course the king of filth shows himself to be just that again.

Take on Rudy Giuliani

As Rudy Giuliani was served papers for election fraud I once again wonder how he will be remembered. When his obituary is written, where does this Trump chapter fall? I mean he took on the mob, he stood tall during 9/11 and he helped heal a broken city. He also was a thug, had an overly aggressive police department and turned Times Square into Disneyland.
But the last few years have been his most tragic, where he took any credibility he has had and became Trump's little lackey, one who didn't even get paid.
So although the first line might be about the twin towers, the second line will be about the Four Seasons next to the porn shop.

Take on the next Trump presidency

I'm resigned to the fact we are going to get Trump again. All the Dark Brandon things aren't getting anybody excited and right now it feels like we are just getting set up again. The issue with Biden is that he's normal, he doesn't throw temper tantrums or pay porn stars hush money but this is apparently what makes a good Christian and that is all our country wants.

Take on Diddy


The P.Diddy video is Ray Rice level bad. I don't know how this guy survives this as that video is as bad as it gets. But the US loves to allow a guy to rehabilitate himself, nobody was more masterful at that than Kobe who went from pariah to darling.

Take on the King Charles official portrait

I can't seem to decide if the King Charles painting is more Homer dropping back into the bushes or Han Solo being encased carbonite. I am no art historian or even much of an art fan but this painting has to be one of the oddest ones somebody would have commissioned as their first official one. It looks like he's basically an unattached head in the bush of a grapefruit. But I guess long live the king

Take on the men’s room in Vienna

Nothing should shock you when you've spent as many hours as I have in airports around the world but I was sort of taken aback when I walked into the Vienna airport men's room and was confronted with a plethora of sex toy options in the vending machine. I mean, to each their own but I can't remember the last time I was coming out of taking a dump that I thought to myself, this might be an ideal time to get a mini vibrator. Not sure what it is but the stench of an airport men's room just doesn't bring that need to mind

Take on German beer mixers

Germany has so much offer in terms of culture, food and weather that sometimes for a split second you forget about the history.

But then while sitting in a beer garden you look at the menu and find out that the birthplace of beer offers it in pints mixed with Coca Cola. I'm done with these psychos

Take on the Fly more Sustainably scam

I booked a flight on Austrian Air last month and went to check in and they gave me an option to spend 2.88 Euro to "fly more sustainably". I'm not sure what this means but I feel like they are passing their Paris Accord upon us to pay for. I'm all for airlines paying for the use of carbon but come on, they will take credit for planting trees or whatnot while the actual cost was paid by us. This is like those "round up to the dollar" at the supermarket to fight hunger which basically means that they can make a big donation and get a bunch of accolades and make it look like they are some kind of hero when in fact it's all just our money.

Take on the year of our lord

Last year when the sky turned that eery orange, we thought we were seeing the apocalypse but the more youth j about it, it was just another example of the end of the earth. We've had a global pandemic, crazy tornadoes, nuclear plants going down, countless wars and now I'm hearing it's one of those stupid cicada years. So I'm pretty sure we are gong to get Trump II and I'm not sure anybody is ready for this complete nonsense.

Take on Seagram’s

I walked into a supermarket today one which I know tries to promote local produces. It's usually eggs or fish or something but today I noticed they had it on Seagram's. I have no idea where that's made but I have to say that although the "local" tag may be technically correct it does feel like a bit of a stretch for a multinational corporation to get that tag.

Take on A I

I'm already so bored of AI at this point I'm just going for it to go away. AI has been making its headway with ChapGPT etc but really after looking around I find the entire thing is painfully miserable. Time to go back to people picking up the phone from lol time to time to get some info .
l

Take on the Stormy tryst

Stormy spent the. Better part of a week explaining that Donald is hung like a small mushroom and that there was no part of her tryst that felt like anything but a power play. We know that Trump will get off because he always is able to but if this piece of trash can at least be made to sweat, it will have been worth it

Take on the brain eating worm

Can we please stop the RFK Jr madness already?? It's been a fun run, he's got some publicity, he's scared people into getting vaccinated and he's pissed of the entire kingdom of Camelot. He was completely unqualified to begin with but this last revaluation that a worm ate part of his brain is making me think he shouldn't just not be anywhere near the Oval Office, we may need to bar him from any office building or anything oval

Plus this ahole has made me hate Cheryl.

Take on the Stormy Daniels’ testimony

Stormy Daniels was on the stand yesterday with the world watching her every move. She described in detail how she and Trump had sex including spanking his flabby ass with a rolled up magazine article. She said he went bare back with her and has said in the past it was quick and sort of painless being that the ex president isn't all that endowed.
But it's all going to come down to the jury getting off on the ex president getting off.

But his vivid comparison of Stormy to Ivanka is what makes you really want to puke in your own mouth

Take on the Met Gala

I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have any idea what the Met Gala is. The outfits are outrageous, the rec carpet is a who's who and E! probably covers it for 24 hours straight but still, what is it??

Literally I have no idea what they are getting dressed up for.
I just hope it's for a good cause

Take on the hopefuls

Nobody is a bigger loser than the Trump VP hopefuls. It's a job where you know you're going to spend all your waking time kissing the bosses gigantic pimples ass and when it comes time to do the right thing, you won't be able to without pissing off pimple ass. And your political career at this point will be over because you will be asked to decide between decency and a big ass pimpled asswipe

Take on the Cybertruck

I caught my first Cybertruck in the wild today and it was somehow uglier than I expected. I know everybody is dubbing on Musk for this monstrosity but I could not have imagined how weirdly ugly it would be in person. I'm pretty sure this thing isn't going to save Tesla let alone save any dude's chances of meeting a woman.

Take on aviation safety

When your plane looks like somebody punched it in the nose, you kind of worry. I've flown a million miles but can't say I've ever been totally comfortable getting onto any flight, mostly the ones where it looks like the plane is being held together with duct tape and bubblegum. But maybe getting a glimpse before boarding isn't the best idea.

Take on Auntie Anne’s


I often walk by an Auntie Anne's and wonder if they exist only at airports. I'm not sure if you'd find them at a strip mall in Columbus but like a Cheetah, I've never actually seen one out in the wild. I have to think they'd appeal to a certain demographic, which I guess is the pajama wearing teenager at Detroit Metro at 8am.

Take on the political donation

The biggest regret I have for ever making a single political donation isn't the fact that even the goods ones aren't that good but when you make one donation they sell all your info to every political organization.   I now get dozens of text messages from randos asking for an urgent donation and I'm sick of it.    Please, for the love of God, leave me alone if you hope to ever get another dime out of me. 

Sent from my iPhone

Take on the Noem story

The Kristi Noem story is one of those which unites people. Forget politics but it brings people with heart and decency together which is hard to do. I'm sure she thought this would be endearing to those in the farm life but not only did that fall flat, it basically shows her to be heartless wench.
So maybe the perfect VP for Trump

Take on the assertion that Putin did not order dissident Alexei Navalny's death

The US intelligence report that said that Putin wasn't involved in Alexei Navalny's death is a bit hard to swallow. Not as bad as trying to swallow a nerve agent but still.. I don't believe anything happens at these levels without mother Russia knowing about and most likely ordering it but I guess if US intelligence claims it to be so…



they are probably hiding something

Take on the Smartfood glazed donut

I walked into a Walgreens and came face to face with some Smartfood called Chocolate glazed donut. I'm not sure what Smartfood proclaims to be but I can't imagine claiming to be healthy options is something they can credibly assert. Also quite sure this bad of donut will be horribly disgusting.

Take on Big Bill Barr

Nobody is a bigger hypocrite than Fat Bill Barr. He's never shown to have any spine when it really matters including his latest revelation that although he thinks Trump is completely unfit for office, he'd vote for him anyway. We know this man has no actual moral, so it's not shocking but I look at the way he carries himself and wonder how this far turd can look himself in the mirror. The saddest thing is that he has publicly turned on Trump so he's got no shot of working for him anyways so this support means he's not doing for moral, professional or personal reasons.
They probably have photos of him rolling around jello

Take on 18 weeks

We all know that the NFL's goal has always been to get to 18 regular season games, player safety be damned. The first part was this half measure to 17 games but yesterday Goodell went all in. I get the appeal for the NFL (another weekend of games) plus the fact the Super Bowl would now fall on President's weekend . but always thought they could accomplish this the same way with player safety in mind. They could add a second bye week which would still get you that extra weekend of games as obviously there are still games when some teams have byes, they still get you to play on President'a weekend with an extra week built into the schedule and players brains may not turn into as much mush. Everybody wins.

Take on the Harvey Weinstein sex crime overturned conviction

The fact that Harvey Weinstein may walk is one of the great injustices we have seen since OJ's trial. We obviously know that even if he gets off on this appeal trial, he'll be a social pariah but I'm not happy enough with this. The man's face looks like a wrinkled scrotum sack but his fame and power was the only thing that got him close to any woman…and then he took advantage of that. He's a complete utter pig

Take onReggie Bush getting his 2005 Heisman Trophy back

The idea that Reggie Bush was going to be a scapegoat for life never sat well. We know he did stuff he wasn't supposed to but we also know that basically every five star college athlete has had boosters putting envelopes in his or her pockets for decades. This is like denying Bonds and Clemens into the baseball Hall of Fame but letting that big slob Big Papi in. Screw that blowhard and screw boring ass baseball

Take on the Port Authority stabbing

Body who has to commute into the city by bus will tell you what an absolute hellhole Port Authority is. It's crowded, smells likes rotting flesh, has leaking ceilings and has no airflow. One thing it typically is though is relatively safe. But not for some poor construction worker
waiting for a bus. The poor guy is just minding his business buried in boom when he gets stabbed 9 times. I'm not one to hate on the city but this mental health crisis in public transportation is something we need to take care of. It seems somebody is getting thrown into a subway or stabbed at a bus stop like once per week

Take on the little Pecker

David Pecker will be the first witness in Trump's hush money trial and finally the world will get to meet one of the sleaziest humans alive. This guy has made his fortune in tabloid news including schemes where he'd pay for stories to just keep them under wraps. What I never understood is who actually takes anything from that rag seriously, why even bother to pay to dump it.

Take on Eric Adams

Why any lawmaker would extend Eric Adams' power bees to be recalled as this man deserves no such opportunity . I'm sure that after his tenure, we will two cycles of Republican mayors who will force us all to live in fear.

Thanks Eric!!