Take on Ball vs Trump

If 2017 hasn't been weird enough, we finally h e hit the crescendo with a heavyweight battle- and I do mean heavyweight- between Donald J Trump and LaVar Ball, two of the most despicable human alive. This is like trying to route for McGregor or Floyd as they are both horrible people but somehow I think I'd take LaVar Ball's side of it, not because he's right (if anybody is right it's probably or cubby president) but because our president is a lunatic and unlike Ball, the worst thing he can do is to raise the price of his shitty sneakers
I hope Ball calls him out on Twitter for a week, trolling him for being a fat moron. A battle royal between Chubby Trump, Kim Jung Un and LaVar Ball would be fantastic

Take on the anti LGTB guy

Is there anything better than an anti LGBT politician getting caught Twinkie deep in his buddy.  It's got to be the most obvious cover for a guy who's living secret life and nothing makes it more obvious than the guy claiming to be some self righteous religious nut.  The saddest thing is that in this day and age, nobody cares.  The stigma is gone, the world has moved on.  It's why Kevin Spacey's lame "coming out" portion of his apology letter got no traction.  Nobody gives a crap where you stick your winkie , just don't preach about it. 

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Take on Kay Ivey

I wouldn't be able to pick Kay Ivey out of a lineuo that includes Michael Kay, Blue Ivy and that Jared guy from Kay Jewelers but I have now decided she is a disposable piece of dog poo. Why should I hate on poor Kay, because she said today that she's got no reason to not believe Roy Moore's accusers yet she will still vote for him purely because he's a Republican. I get this party over country thing if you are a selfish twit but when you are a person who represents a state maybe keeping your mouth shut is the best way to do that

Nobody believes that without this incident, there like be any chance of turning Alabama blue. You'd have a better chance of Blue Ivy coming into Tuscaloosa or Huntsville and convincing the average citizen there that her dad is the messiah and her mom is The Virgin Mary than them electing a democrat under normal circumstances

Have fun at the mall you inbred losers.

Take on Trump’s Franken comment

Al Franken has embarrassing himself and killed any aspirations he had for higher office. The SNLnator should resign and let us be purged of another one of these scumbags. The ultimate troll job happened when POTUS decided to weigh in, he called Franken out and asked the question what happened after the first tit-grab photo

This is the same guy who told Billy Bush "I'm automatically attracted to beautiful women — I just start kissing them, it's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything." and a man who has yet to call for Roy Moore to step down, so he doesn't exactly have a lot of credibility left

What the Dems will likely miss if Franken did step down is his intellect and savviness in these back and forth he's displayed over the last few years when shady people come in front of his committees but he has ruined it all

Roy Moore step aside
Al Franken resin
POTUS. Walk away and don't ever look back

Take on the new CNN poll.

I got an email from TeamTrump today asking me to rate his performance over the last year. The choices were a Trumpian voice between Good, Great, Okay and Other. This obviously only had one right answer and even that one felt a bit empty. Trump has given nobody confidence in his temperament, decision making, diplomacy, intellect, people skills, management style or statesmanship. The only things he has done well are post grammatically incorrect tweets and deflect attention away from his corruption

The best thing about the email was that it complained about the latest CNN poll which showed that a whopping 64% of people said they had less confidence in Trump than they did a year ago. Their complaint was that only 24% of the people polled were Republicans which -in their opinion- invalidated the poll

Two comments

- I don't think anybody in their right mind can think that he has actually done a great or good job, he's a walking disaster, so this would have to be a vote between Other and Okay

- I just looked it up and in 2016, only 26% of all Americans identified themselves as Republican, so the 24% included in this poll seems right and likely a bit high as many people see a fractured party divided between the McConnell tired turtle establishment and the Trump crazies

Anyway, I was asked to donate after answering "other" which I didn't do.

I'm guessing we'll never have this hard scientific poll see the light of day.

Take on Hannity

We wonder how the heartland of America was fooled by a twice divorced, morally corrupt, New York East Coast elitist. These are the salt of the earth type of people who represent all that is normal and decent, not asking for much, serving our country willingly and always anti coastal. I've thought about what appeals these people to Trump and I finally figured it out. It's that they are enamored by another fast talking slick New Yorker, Sean Hannity. Hannity blurred the lines just enough for these country hicks to believe he was one of them, even when he was pulling in millions on their stupidity. His lead in, Bill O'Reilly did him one better by dumbing down his program with those stupid text boxes next to his gigantic head but Hannity speaks to their soul.
These morons don't even realize that Hannity is playing them like a flute with his dark suits and pink ties. He's a complete lunatic or at least plays one on TV

Take on the Keurig thing.

Nothing pleases me more than seeing a bunch of morons smash their home appliances because they are mad that the company pulled advertising from something as dumb as Hannity!!

But that is why you have, hundreds of people beating their Keurig machines with hammers, tearing them down stairs and filling them with bleach and in the process, accomplishing very little.
The best part was that Nespresso sent out a big email blast today offering 35%off of all their machines

The best thing is that we will have a lot more people buying new appliances this Christmas season, which will be a nice boost to the retail economy

So smash away morons.

Take on Trump’s Miss Universe riffing

Now he's really gone too far, forget the mindful ignorance of Putin's role, forget his embrace of Duterte, forget his embarrassing name calling thing with The short and fat Rocket Man...the news that shook the world is that Trump rugged the Miss Universe contest in 2002 to give it to Putin's mistress. All is fair in love and war but when you start messing with sanctity of all that is holy, true and good, I'm pissed off. If the Miss Universe contest can't be counted on to be held fairly, then nothing is left to fight for.
Put everything else aside, call Mueller back from his little trip, we need a congressional investigation on this.

Take on Fat and Short

I've never agreed with Trump more than his "short and fat" description of Kim Jong-un. There really is no better description as Kim is a complete tub of lard. What is even better is that this Trump
outburst was prompted when Kim called him fat which is another great description because Trump looks like a Turkey day balloon

Anyway, I'm glad these two morons spent the day insulting each other, let's hope they don't annihilate each other while I'm alive

Take on the hooker pee

Trump's security chief testified earlier this week about many things including the infamous trip
To Moscow back in 2013. What was interesting was that he not only acknowledged that there was an offer for five hookers to be sent up to Trump's suite but that he remembered very clearly that no impropriety occurred while her was there. The emphasis is obviously on the legal CYA (cover your ass) portion of while he was present.

What is more interesting is how this story has evolved

We went from
- the Dossier is so preposterous that it's not worth discussing

to

- you are just covering for Clinton's huge loss

to

- the Dossier was paid for by Clinton, so it's contents are obviously compromised.

To

- ok there were hookers but we didn't indulge


At thus rate Adam Schildkraut will be up to his elbows in hooker pee by this time next week.

Take on that weird thumbs up photo

Trump tweeted out a weird photo the other night with the caption 

Congratulations to all of the 'DEPLORABLES' and the millions of people who gave us a MASSIVE (304-227) Electoral College landslide victory

It was sort of an odd photo considering the rest of the GOP was licking their wounds after getting their asses handed to them on Tuesday but Trump doesn't care about anybody but himself

But looking at this photo

Kushner looks like he's high

Stephen Miller looks like he's pulling a H.W. Bush on Hope Hicks

The fat guy on the bottom looks like he's taking a dump

And the media guy Dan Scavino looks like he forgot his hair brush at the hotel in Seoul 

And Trump, he looks like he just had passed gas and only he is in on the joke

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Take on Bo Dietl

If there was ever a walk-over victory it was last night when Bill De Blasio easily won a second term defeating Nicole Malliotakis by an overwhelming margin of 66% to 28%.   It's not that surprising being that NYC is a traditional liberal powerhouse although the one place the republicans have always done well is with the mayor race.  

But what is more odd is that throughout the campaign, the person we heard more about than anybody was Bo Dietl.  Dietl is a contributor to FoxNews and the Imus in the Morning program, so he has some name recognition.  So much recognition that there was a debate a week ago and he was on the stage with De Blasio and Malliotakis

How the hell did the election commission give him that platform?  This guy got 1% of the vote which is about the equivalent of getting a 400 on the SAT's.  The only person who got less votes than him is a guy who literally tried to hijack a plane (http://nypost.com/2017/10/25/this-mayoral-candidate-once-tried-to-hijack-an-airplane/).  The guy who finished above him is a movie producer who was doing this as a shtick. 

De Blasio got more votes in a combo of three or four buildings than Diedl got in total

Let's just hope Bo just goes away for good now

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Take on Huck

Sarah Sanders spent the day in Korea trying to explain the latest Presidential gaffe that could lead to a potential international crisis. But the only thing I could think of was she looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid who mated with a GI Joe. Most of the time you look at presidents snd see them age tremendously over their term, in this case it is the press secretary who looks like she's gone from 40 something to 60 something in a hot minute. It's weird because she's added these wrinkles which normally does give a woman a certain handsome eloquence but not for her. But she's somehow found a way to get fat in her wrinkles, her face kind of looks like a catcher's mitt if that catcher's mitt married a bulldog.
She's really a disgusting looking human both inside and outside

Take on the Carter Page testimony

This is the week that Mike Flynn gets indicted unless, of course, he has already flipped and this is he week Mueller starts to tighten his grip around the neck of the administration. Carter Page certainly did his part in his free wheedling, attorney-less afternoon in from of Adam Schiff last week and the twisted tangled Russian web just got a bit further exposed. For a campaign who claimed to have no Russian involvement, they certainly visited Russia
a lot, certainly met with a lot of Russian officials and certainly had a lot of hookers pee on sheets

How did we let this man become president?

The Saudi house cleaning

The last two days of the Kingdom of Saud hVe felt like the ending to Goodfellas. Basically the new crown prince decided to play Layla and within 24 hours he had arrested every one of his rivals and cousins. The most Saudi part of the arrests were that they threw all of these corrupt princes into the toughest prison know the world, the Ritz Carlton which cancelled all other hotel reservations through December 31st.
Today another prince died when his helicopter crashed. If I'm a Saudi Prince, I'm not sure I'm starting my car tomorrow

I'm sure Trump is watching and admiring the entire thing

Take on Pocahontas

Just this week Donald J Trump signed the following declaration.  

Native Americans are a testament to the deep importance of culture and vibrancy of traditions, passed down throughout generations. This month, I encourage all of our citizens to learn about the rich history and culture of the Native American people.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2017 as National Native American Heritage Month.

Elizabeth Warren must be so proud 

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Take on the 60 million fake Facebook accounts

Facebook now admits that up to 60,000,000 of its accounts are fake which likely means the number is 3x that. Just think about that, the most popular social media website with all this meteoric growth is just one army of bots, trolls and idiot cousins. They were the main platform for such atrocities as election interference, racist bots and kitten pictures


Years ago there was an article describing Facebook as a necessity, like electricity but somehow I've been able to stay off the grid and am no worse for the wear.
If this last election doesn't show you there cesspool that this place is, nothing will.

Take on Donna Brazile

Donna Brazile went after the DNC, the Clinton's and the democratic establishment in her new book which promised to be the biggest bombshell of the year and it will be available just in time for Christmas
I think that most of the world is ready for Hillary to just go away, she lost, she ran a terrible campaign and she is incredibly unlikeable but yet it feel like we are going to regurgitate the campaign a hundred times between now and 2020
But the thing that was more obvious -and frankly obnoxious- about the Brazile thing is that it just feels so self serving. The entire piece is about what she felt and noticed and how she knew Hillary was in trouble. Yet she did nothing about any of it at any point

Anyway, Donna Brazile and Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton and that weird VP guy she chose. Plead all of you guys go away

Take on the Facebook troll

3000 Facebook ads linked to Russia were released today and sadly each one is probably one that your  wife's idiot cousin posted.
I haven't been on Facebook in years, recognizing it for the cesspool it is, but from everything I hear, this last year+ has been particularly miserable. The old adage of not discussing religion or politics in public went to hell and you people all realized that you hate half of your Facebook friends.

The funny thing is thing is that everybody I know says the same thing about the vile rhetoric that was being spewed, they all say it was posted by either

- some nutty in-law
- some kind they went to high school with who likely works in a pizzeria or for the DPW

Sadly those morons represented half of this country and now we're stuck with Donald Duck

Take on only the best people

George Papadapolous has gone from a guy nobody (other than Seth Abramson) had ever heard of to a guy who everybody has heard of to a guy Trump claims to have barely heard of in about a two day period
I don't know much about the insights into situations like this but I do know that when a campaign announces that a 29 year old kid with no experience will serve as a member of a national security advisory team, that kid better have been born on February 29th.
Did Trump know he was trying to get a meeting with Putin, who the hell knows but there were plenty in the campaign orbit who did and now it's time for those chickens to come home to roost

Papadapolous flipped, Flynn likely flipped, Manafort has been indictees, Page is as crazy as ever, Bannon is living in a bunker, Kushner is solving the Middle East issue over a latte and Roger Stone is from perma-banned from Twitter. Somehow the Mooch got out just in time.

Take on Kevin Spacey

lost in today's wonderful Goodfellas ending is this Kevin Spacey story

Spacey, like most of powerful Hollywood apparently, has been sexually harassing anybody in their orbit but unlike the rest of them, Spacey tried to blame it all on a drunken stupor and then used the opportunity to reveal the biggest open secret in Hollywood.    Spacey is a private person and is only coming out now because he's trying to cover up for something that is actually a scandal.  

This entire thing is sickening, mostly because Spacey took no real responsibility for his act, tried to cover it up with a booze story and then tried to change the dialogue by using this platform to try to get sympathy by coming out.  Oh by the way, Anthony Rapp was 14 at the time.. 

   

- I hated his  'I chose to live myself as a gay man' this isn't helpful.

- the fact that he's gay and or drunk is no excuse for making an unwanted pass at somebody below him

- the fact that he's gay and or drunk is no excuse for him making a pass at a minor

screw Kevin Spacey and his house of cards

Take on the golfer in chief

As Donald Trump left the Trump National Golf Club in Virginia this Sunday, we wonder how may good golf weekends he has left. The weather should be getting colder although with this climate who the heck knows anymore. I'd feel bad for Trump but this won't mean the end of his golf season, it'll just mean he moves it down about 1000 miles to Mar-a-Lago. This will certainly impact him as it will mean less time with his wife and kid who are just adjusting to DC and will also mean that we're likely to get some more military plans drawn up on napkins in front of the help.
But maybe Mueller can move fast and go right for the jugular and allow Trump to go back to playing golf without all the stress of a nuclear catastrophe.

By the way, if tomorrow's indictment reveals it's Kushner, I really hope they let Christie prosecute him.

Take on the rumor

So the rumors about who the first to fall will be are all over the place
Many pin it on Flynn, who has been exposed as the one with the most blood on his hands including the photo of him dining with Putin
Manafort has been in the news a lot with secret ledgers and a history of deals with Russia
Carter Page is said to have delivered the message directly from Trump to Putin
Don jr. arranged the meeting with the Russian attorney
Roger Stone is a weasel who nobody would mind seeing fried

But the person who is now most likely to fall is the quiet one. Rumor is that Kushner will be the first to fall, because of his association with Cambridge Analytics. This will be the best one and will irk the president to no end and will mean that Mueller is inches away from the big Tuna.

It's always the quiet one.

Take on the timing of the Mueller news

We've waited for what feels like an eternity but finally the first of many shoes is going to drop. The first charges were filed by Robert Mueller and now the question is who is the first one to go down

Page, Flynn, Manafort, Papadapolous, Don Jr


Please god let it be Don jr.

But I guess we now know why Trump wanted to make sure the JFK stuff was released today.

take on the frozen iphone

Last night, as I was sitting guard outside my daughter's room to protect her against monsters and zombies, I had the most unfortunate thing happened to me.   My IPhone froze up.   I'm sitting in the dark with a busted IPhone and it was maddening.  

Maddening because there was nothing I could do.   When I pressed the side button and the home button it would eventually get to the screen where you had to swipe to power down the phone, but the screen wouldn't allow for the powder down.   So I was stuck, staring at a blank screen for hours

The only thing that worked was Siri, which allowed me to get my text messages dictated to me but nothing else.  
Without a hard reset option like taking the battery out, I was stuck with the unthinkable.   Let me iphone battery die for a reset, the issue was that the phone still had 20% battery and without any use, draining it was painful

It took 12 hours to finally die and rebooted thirty seconds later.

 

Sorry for the lack of TOR yesterday, without a phone it was near impossible, we'll make this a Friday Double...  so Trump isn't safe yet

Take on the standing ovation for Trump

I'm not sure if your heard but Trump got a standing ovation from the GOP leadership in some closed session of unity. He only tweeeted about it half a dozen time, nothing about specifics but just that the GOP lathered him with praise, we'll except for Flake, Corker, McCain and I guess maybe Graham. But the rest of those guys just love them some Donald J Trump. Well Cruz and Rubio both have have a bit of a hard history with El Trumpio and Mitch "his Bitch" McConnell is a bit of a wild card towards the all in for Trump thing unless he likes the role of whipping boy, which he might.
Then there is Ben Sasse who might not be a total spineless weasel. The Murkowski and Collins duo have had their wars with Trump, too as hey vote against the repeal thing. And then you have Rand who hates everybody and everybody hates him.

Jesus, who actually likes this guy?!?

I'm counting 11 our of 52 who have some bad history but I'm sure they all applauded loudly for him during their standing O

Take on Tom Perez

I often wonder what the qualifications for DNC chair are supposed to be and have figured out that you basically need a pulse -and not a very good one-, a weird set of vocal cords and the ability to be bought off and be completely corrupt. It's no surprise that they never seem to have trouble filling the position

There is no more tone deaf moron than Tom Perez who went out of his way to beat Jeff Flake on his retirement. This is he same Jeff Flake who committed political suicide by going after and breaking down the mighty Trump piece by piece on the senate floor today. This is the guy who is on your side when it comes to trying to make sure this is a one term president.

But no, Tom Perez decided to not follow logic but instead to follow the president's lead and pile on Flake. Forget if he believes that Flake is right or wrong, if there was ever a day to praise Flake, it was today.

But god forbid these idiot Democrats get out of their own way

Take on Huck’s math

Big Huck made a big announcement today that the average American would see a $4000 increase on average under Trump's new tax law. She implied that each family would be getting a check but since 80% of the cuts would come from the top, it basically means that most people will see no increase at all.

As half the world pointed out, that isn't exactly how statistics work. If Trump gets a Ten Million Dollar tax cut and 24,999 get no tax cut, the total tax cut would be $10,000,000 which divided by the 25,000 people would be $4000. This is great news for those 25,000 people, right? Time to all put that $4k in our kid's 529 funds or put more into our 401Ks or more likely buy four new IPhone X's. I hope they take TrumpCash over at Apple.

Oh America is already so great, this is just going to make it greater

Take on the 46%

Trump tweeted today that 46% of people believe major national news organizations fabricate stories about him which only tells me that 46% of the people in this country have lost all credibility. This is a country who needs their media to make sure our governmental branches are doing what they should be and keeping tabs on them, yet or president has worked to destroy them and our citizens seem to buy it. Trump has single handedly destroyed their credibility not because of falsehoods they've reported but because his followers are absolute sheep
Hey Donald, they don't need to make up stories about you, you create them yourselves with your gigantic ego, your lack of compassion, your inability to tell the truth, your complete drain of good will and your adolescent moral compass

You suck, your supporters are brainwashed lambs and our country and fellow citizens have never disappointed me more than this last year.

Take on Scrotum Face vs The Spin Zone

Tucker Carlson spent a week lambasting Hollywood for covering up for Hurricane Harvey Weinstein. This is a solid point if kept in this context but an odd one to make for a guy who draws his paycheck from one Rupert Murdock. This is the same Murdock who signed Big Bill O'Reilly to a huge new contract despite 5 sexual harassment cases having been paid out to be kept quiet. I'm not where the spin stops but it seems to be rolling around Tucker's five hole right now and Big Bill is about to take an unwanted pass.

But keep on nailing Scrotum Face Weinstein, every liberal I know hopes the guy fries while very conservative I know hopes O'Reilly rises from the deaf to take pack his throne

Take on Trump Headquarters

Maybe I accidentally bought a red hat, maybe it's just that I follow him on twitter but somehow Team Trump has my email address and now I'm getting bombarded with junk mail.
Today I got one from Trump Headquarters which I can only imagine is located somewhere in Moscow, asking me to donate $3 to have a chance at dinner with Trump, presumably at a Trump facility
As much as I'd love to have an over cooked steak with an undercooked human, I'm going to pass if for no reason that I don't need my $3 going to the Trump Russian defense fund.

Good luck with winning this one Ted Cruz

Take on Trump’s Take

Everybody tries to figure out what is wrong with Trump but the easiest answer is that he is...Trump

When Trump goes off script, he tends to exaggerate, inflate, extrapolate, felate and conflate the truth and it always gets him in trouble. His "shoot from the hip" works in business meetings and social settings because it's weirdly charming. As POTUS it's not charming, it's dangerous

Take on Trump’s “he knew what he signed up for” comment

Another day, another Trumpism

Trump supposedly told a grieving widow that the soldier "knew what he signed up for" and the world became outraged.
Then Trump - like he usually does- went after the world saying that he had proof that he didn't say that which makes this a classic game of He Said-She Said with the "He" being a pathological liar. There is nobody in the world who believes Trump and nobody expects him to show his "proof"

But here's where I am with it. Trump was likely not trying to be callous or mean, he's just a tone deaf moron who doesn't understand nuance. He tried to do the right thing -even if it was a week late- but in a way that only he can mess it up. This is the same guy who on 9-11 noted that he now had the biggest building in NYC. It might be a fact but it's not something you say. He is so self absorbed and has gotten away with saying the most ridiculous and often times heinous things for so long, that he has no concept of self awareness.
Great quality for a leader.

Good job America

Take on the Mooch

I love the Mooch but his ScaramucciPost went just a little too far today and by little too far I mean he flew out to Mars and took a dump
I wasn't surprised that he later sent around an explanation that his " how many Jews were really killed in the Holocaust" post wasn't sanctioned by him but posted by an over exuberant intern. I believe this about as much as I believe anything the Mooch says.

 I meant to vote but got distracted wanting to throw my phone into the nearest pot of spaghetti

Take on the Clinton loophole

I hate Trump with the intensity of a thousand horny goats and would have loved to have seen him beaten by Hillary. I'm hoping they impeach him or blow the dust off of the 25th amendment but even I have no interest in seeing Hillary take the helm. Lawrence Lessig laid out a plan to how Clinton could somehow end up in the Oval Office and my only thought is, please don't

She deserves it because the election was likely stolen from her, but really at this point, we need her to just go away. I think we're all Clintoned out at this point, we'd be happy to just be done with it all

The Democrats won't have a better candidate for 2020 or at least not one as recognizable but still, she needs to just go away.

Take on Larry Flynt

I kind of assumed Larry Flynt was dead but instead he seems to be alive and kicking and looking to impeach Trump. I don't agree with anything this guy does and find him a repulsive Harvey Weinstein esque monster but he finally did something noteworthy and at least he's putting his money where his mouth is in this case.
Although, I got to be honest with you, I would have assumed that Flynt walked around with one of this stupid red hats.

Take on Hurricane Harvey

The Academy threw out Harvey Weinstein today in one of the most chicken shit moves ever. It's not that throwing this disgusting slob out is a bad thing, it's that it took this entire thing to blow up publicity for anybody to do anything about this. From everything you read, his behavior was an open secret in Hollywood yet still they kept calling him, kept taking his movies and kept embracing him.

I'm not sure what is more shocking, the amount of women this guy harassed with virtually no repercussion or the fact that this absolute slob married a woman who is flat out stunning. He has to be one of the more disgusting looking people I have ever seen, he is so obese he has fat growing on his stubble.
How this guy convinced any woman to marry him is a miracle, the fact the one he found is stunning is like finding a four leaf clover...although finding a four leaf clover when it's being watered by millions of dollars is less shocking.

Take on Paulie Manafort

NBC unconcerned surprising news that Paulie Walnuts Manafort has stronger ties to Putin and his Olinarchs than previously known. This is surprising only in that it is not at all surprising, we all know that Manafort is a complete treasonous snake, with no morals or love for his country. But this is what you get when you put your campaign in the hands of a guy who worked as Putin's bitch for a decade, you want Putin's bitch, you better get ready to bend way over for Putin.
But Trump will claim he hardly knew him even if they err neighbors inside Trump Tower.

Take on the difference between HARVEY and Maria

Trump's response to Hurricane Harvey's destruction in Houston and Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico really couldn't have been much different. With Texas he promised to have the federal government stay into the bitter end to make sure the city would be restored, recovered and rebuilt. With PR he feels like it's time to bail already with his message of FEMA's time being limited.
That isn't the way this works Mr President, you can't pick which citizens you want to protect and which you want to send out to sea. But then again, this is who he is, he picks favorites and sends everybody down a deep dark hole

I just can't figure out why he would support one group and not the other. It's very perplexing

Take on the new XFL

Sean Comba is talking about starting a new football league to finally take on the gigantic ass suckers that are the NFL owners. There really is now worse group of people than NFL owners, they can somehow make Trump cabinet members seem down to earth.
Sissy promises harder hits, better pension plans (which they will need with the harder hits) and presumably a no fair-catch rule.
The issue is that we're tried all of this, the USFL, the XFL, the KittyBowl. We tried it all and it all kind of sucks. Watching second rate football players play footsie is about as interesting as BudBowl III.

But good luck Diddy. Now that Biggie is dead you need some source of income

Take on Liddle

English isn't my first language so maybe I'm missing something obvious but when Trump went off on Liddle' Bob Corker, I wasn't sure what he meant. What does Liddle mean? Is it just 'little' misspelled?

I looked it up and apparently Liddle it is a hereditary disease which involving increased activity of the epithelial sodium channel (ENaC) which causes the kidneys to excrete potassium. That is a pretty sick burn I guess if you are calling the guy a small banana.

Or maybe he was calling him Cory Lidle which is just sad
Or maybe he was referring to the UrbanDictionary definition which talks about mastrubating upside down.

Anyway, Bob Corker please realize guy helped create this monster, good luck getting him back into his cage.

Take on the Pence charade

For a month we have heard people asking athletes to
keep politics out of sports yet yesterday our Vice President flew across the country to interject politics into sports. Everybody saw this entire charade for what it was, which was comforting especially since the Trump White House had a full statement within minutes of Pence's departure. There was also some lame photo that Pence posted which was the same photo he had posted a few years ago hoping nobody would catch it. It was pretty obvious because Pence was wearing a suit to the game and a Colts jersey in the photo and since he was only at the stadium for a grand total of 15 minutes, him using time to change and then change back again seemed more than a little unlikely. The guy is no Axl Rose
Anyway, Pence proves again to be Trump's pathetic little lapdog with no self worth or morals but then again, what do you expect when you sign up to get a first class seat on the Trump Train.

Take on the two part tweet

The Washington Post analyzed the length it took Trump to complete a two part tweet and found it took in excess of 8 minutes which might be the best (or worst) thing about moving to 280 character tweets. It might be his natural instinct as a somebody who cut his teeth in entertainment, to try to keep us in suspense but there is something different between keeping me on the edge of our seat because Monica and Ross are going to kiss and making sure Kim Jong Un doesn't bomb Guam. Maybe having him put it all in one tweet is a good thing because he can spend less time typing with his little fingers and more time playing golf.

But anyway, his suckiness has been well discussed, we just have to hope he doesn't get us all killed. We just keep setting the bar lower and lower

Take on Trump’s approval ratings

Our president's approval ratings would be solid if they were a batting average but considering they are not, get suck
I think that Trump blames them on his FakeNews nemesis but we all know that he is an absolute psychopath intent on destroying all that is good and fair, at least 68% of us do. I'm so convinced that in a decade there I'll be more people who will claim to have been at Carlton Fisk's homerun game than will admit they voted for this treasonous dope

Take on the end of AIM

Is here anything Trump isn't going to ruin?!? American Online decided to retire it once popular AIM service which is surprising in two ways

- who knew that AOL still had a platform at all.
- did they really have to make an announcement for this, this would have been the perfect "if a tree falls in a forest" experiment

But I guess this is a sad day, and somehow it is probably Trump's fault. AOL was once great and was the gateway to the World Wide Web for many people. I can remember waiting anxiously for the stupid internet to beep and buzz just long enough to give me a glimpse into the seedy underbelly of the internet. It has also likely been one of the main contributors for the size of our landfills which are overflowing mainly because of all those crappy CDs they were giving out years ago

Anyway, good night AIM, I'm sure this is just the beginning of the end for AOL and hopefully we can all peacefully forget this dark chapter in our lives.

Take on Sarah Huckabee Sander's horrible eyebrows

Sarah Huckabee Sanders had one of her SNL type
Press conferences where she kept shoving her foot into her mouth like it was a Twinkie. We appreciate anytime she, or anybody else speaking for the administration, shows to be a complete shill for incompetence but today was worse
Somehow she decided to draw on her eyebrows with a sharpie because she looked like a Halloween costume gone all wrong. She is really a horrid human being with no conscience but at minimum she didn't look like my 90 year old grandmother, she has even ruined that now

Take on the sick seat mate

Is there anything worse than getting onto a flight and the lady next you tells you she's nauseous and will likely throw up? I'm not neurotic but the thought of being in a confined space with somebody likely suffering from Ebola is not my definition of fun.
Then again, she may have just had too much to drink or ate some bad soup but if she coughs my way, I may push her out the emergency exit, you know, for the safety of everybody

Take on Puerto Rico

Our president is so incredibly tone deaf, it is amazing. Today, while visiting victims in Puerto Rico he told the people that they should be proud that more haven't died. I guess that only 16 people have died is a big thing but not sure it's something to be proud of because there is very little you can actually do They might be lucky, they might be fortunate, they may have avoided bigger tragedy but they are far from something to be proud of because in the end there is little that can be done when the levees break.
Anyway, he's a tone deaf moron who threw paper towels at people which was the best thing he did.

Take on the million dollar trophy

Nothing tells 3.4 million people who have been devastated and their homes destroyed that you are thinking of them like dedicating some crappy golf trophy to them so of-course this is what Trump does. This guy spent the weekend playing golf and fighting with the mayor of San Juan, although fighting makes it sound like it was a two way thing. The mayor was busy trying to rescue her city while standing waist deep in sewage and Trump was eating a well done steak on his crappy golf course.

So, sorry Emanuel. Your house is gone, you family is missing and you won't have electricity for a month but here is a golf trophy dedicated to you. Don't think that you will actually see it or touch it or anything but know it is dedicated to you, sort of.

God he sucks

Take on ingrates

Nothing unites people like being called a bunch of ingrates by their president. I don't think anybody expected Trump to actually united people, but the disregard he seems to have for (black and brown) lives is astonishing. This is what you get when Trump tries to do anything other than golf and I implore somebody who loves our country to take him on a 3 1/2 year golf excursion which might be our only hope for survival