Take on Zelensky

When Zelensky went to Washington, he found himself in a miserable situation with a man who berated him in front of his boss for not bending the knee while facing an onslaught from Putin. I don't know what is the best course of action but don't think it's fair to say this is really salvageable. One man has seen war, the other threatens it. One man has battle scars, the other temper tantrums.

‘Take on the Epstein Files’

The first trove of the Epstein files were releases and although I haven't watched any TV or followed it, it seems people are pissed off. Not because people who they respect are on it but because there aren't enough people they hate on it. I'm sure Clinton deserves his spot, as fine Prince Andrew but nobody deserves his first class seat to that island then our current president.
Time to come clean, Tubby

Take on Jeff Bezos announcing 'significant shift’ coming to the Washington Post.

Jeff Bezos has announced significant shit to the editorial page with his lame attempt to become a mini Rupert Murdoch. I get his desire to control a media empire but instead of making sure democracy doesn't die in darkness, it's instead cuddling up with Donald Trump I'm at the point where I'm not sure which of these billionaire techno-bros has any guts left. We know Elon has old out, Zuck has been completely lame, Bezos is bending the knee and god knows who else has given away all of their personal fortitude.

Take on the Gold Card

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free

Or give us $5 million payable in Bitcoin or Doge coin or better yet Trump Coin.  I'm not sure what the best decision is but I'm sure it involves outraging this corrupt son of a b%#€^£ and moving on to somebody who doesn't see American liberty as something to sell on the free market.   

God help us.   

Sent from my iPhone

The on Toe licking Trump

When the TV's were hacked at the HUD today and they played a loop of Trump licking Elon's toes, we thought we'd seen it all. Obviously this was a DeepFake but even so, the thought was just so vile that even we could not find humor. We hope we are in a place where we can laugh again because so far this has been nothing short of an unmitigated disaster

Take on the Yanks

Everything we knew about the Yankees is no longer what we thought they were. Facial hair is now back and Sinatra is now out but I'm guessing they will likely not win a World Series. I'm not sure if I care because I haven't seen a baseball game in a decade. But I'm not going to bring me back to baseball because I like to not be totally bored.

Take on the Elon justification email

When he's not doing Nazi salutes, Elon is busy making babies and ruining countries. His latest salvo into his attempt to break our country was to tell all federal employees they had to justify their existence by email or be considered as having quit. We know this isn't going to end well other than our more fear into the minds of our federal workforce with no regard of how this will affect the service they provide.

Take on the Roman Salute

What the hell is going on with these Republicans all of a sudden embracing the Roman salute? I mean, nobody has ever heard of this particular salute of Italian lore but apparently we are supposed to all believe that they are all just doing exactly what we think they are doing.

We are living through absolutely the craziness of times.

Take on DOGE's $8 b/million

DOGE claimed to have saved $8billion but somehow they missed a few zeroes. We know that people sort of confused millions and billions but that's kind of like confusing four quarters in your pocket and a $1000 in a bank account.
$8,000,000
$8,000,000,000

Slightly different.

Somebody tell DOGE to investigate the waste every time Trump flies down to Florida to play golf.

Take on the end of congestion pricing.

Trump said he killed congestion pricing which made him the most popular man outside of the city. People hate congestion pricing, so this was easy issue for Trump since it has no impact on him but is yet another example of him doing something that will have huge negative consequences. For those of us who are in midtown Manhattan every day, the reduction of cars is one of the few positives we have ever gotten.

Traffic is less, air pollution is down and there has to be like a 99% decrease in people leaning on their horn.

But The King does what The King wants. So here we are.

Trump's take on the war

When our foreign policy resorts to believing whatever Putin whispered in Trump's fat little ear, you know are all screwed. Trump parroted the Russian lies that Ukraine started this war and the. Indicated that Ukraine has avoided elections to keep Zelensky in power. I'm so sick and tired of any defense of Russia on this matter but find it particularly repulsive to hear it from the US president.

Take on the plane crashes.

How long before Steve Bannon and Trump start blaming the Deep State for all these plans crashes? I'm sure they are convinced that these planes
falling out of the sky is directly related to some middle manager in the transportation department sabotaging air travel by jamming the radars.
Who knows what angle they officially take but I'm sure they will find a way to pin this on Deep State Biden past the lame DEI reasoning they tried a while ago.

Take on the bird flu

The bird flu is really starting to cramp my style. This morning, I tried to get an egg impossible burger thing and was told they didn't have any to sell. Yesterday the supermarket shelves were empty and the ones I did manage to get from some organic store looked like a thick curry sauce when I cracked them. Obviously this isn't Trump's fault but as we all know, when you are the boss the buck stops with you. And outside of importing a bunch of eggs from Turkey, I'd like to know what he's doing about my omelette.

The on Tequila Tom

I'm sure our secretary of defense wasn't drinking on the job because that's what we've been told. They explained it was water but the blue suit made it look brown, they told us the look on his face when the sweet flavor hits his lips is normal for water and they claim there isn't a long history of public drunkenness to point to.

Personally I think the guy is a total lush and can't help but drink all the time.

Take on the Trump Adams's secret love affair

I was asked today what New Yorkers reaction to Trump moving to dismiss corruption charges against Eric Adams. I thought for a minute and stated that I had heard almost nothing from rank and file's New Yorkers and commuters into the city. That doesn't mean there aren't neighborhoods and protestors etc but from the midtown perspective, it's eerily quiet. He's a horrible human and should be looking at jail time not a parachute but we can't ever get what we want and always just get what we deserve when we elect a mayor of NYC. The biggest issue is that people are very much of the opinion that corruption is just par for the course whether it's Trump or Adams, classic both sidesism.

Take on The City Destroyer

If I'm still alive in 2034, I could witness some asteroid hitting earth which would have the power of 500 Hiroshima's. I can't say in terribly excited about this although I was happy that my house in New Jersey wasn't in the predicted path. What I know is that if we do get this sucker hunkering down on us, you'd have to be able to get some pretty cheap property. And crypto would be totally screwed.

Take on the buyout and what it means for unemployment

With some federal judge allowing for the Trump buyout plan for federal works proceed, we are likely to see a number of people taking it. I'm sure this helps the Elon concept of cutting costs by cutting headcount but what they don't realize is that all of these resignations will lead to one thing for sure..higher unemployment. There is no employer as big as the US government and clever you feel about them, cutting jobs there will lead to a lot of people looking for work and don't think Trump will be that happy with employment stats rising under his watch.

Take on the gulf

The Gulf of America is going to the greatest gulf of all time. I'm not sure what the point is but if it distracts Trump long enough, maybe he'll get tired and take a nap. This to me is like getting angry about him folding all the time. Honestly let him waste his energy on this and not dismantling our democracy

Take on the penny

Even I have to agree with Trump when he's right about something. I've completely in agreement that it's due time to stop minting the penny which isn't worth its weight. I have no idea how much it costs us to make these things but I'm good to also immediately get rid of the nickel and start to phase out the dime in the next ten years.

It's time.

Take on the Super Bowl

I haven watched more than a few NFL games this year (Jet games don't count because they are the Jets). We are 52 minutes into this game and I don't think I've been this bored in a long time. I know people will talk about the Eagle defense and the timely ability of their offense to generate a push. The commercials haven't been great, Kendrick didn't move the needle at our Super Bowl party and even watching Mahomes look like Zack Wilson got kind of boring

But we have like 8 minutes left and the eagles just kicked another Field Goal, so maybe in-laws can be in bed in 30 minutes.

Take on Rod Blagojevich

Another day, another ludicrous move by the White House. At least today's rumor that Rod Blagojevich was being considered as ambassador to Serbia won't have any real impact but the sheer thought of having a guy who served eight years for corruption holding any position of any importance seems beyond comprehension. But I think this is just another example of flooding the zone because as soon as we riff on this, they send Elon and his cronies into our personal files.

The on the first few weeks.

They claimed they went going to follow the Project 2025 model. We believe them just like we believe that Trump would be better for Gaza than Kamala. We thought it was a good idea to give the entire government payment system to Elon to tinker with and we are fine with completely unqualified people leading major departments. We don't care about the price of eggs anymore which is odd because it was all we cared about before. We don't want any foreign wars but we are looking to take over Panama, Greenland, Gaza and Canada. It's just insane that it's only been a few weeks

Take on 100,000 eggs were stolen from a trailer

You know we have hit total inflation when robbers rob a trailer filled with eggs. We know that with the bird flu, eggs have become a hot commodity and prices have skyrocketed and many stores are totally sold out. But when I saw this trailer being hijacked I thought. How many of the Trumpers care about the price of eggs now

Take on Gaza

Trump's latest goal is to take over Gaza, adding it to Panama and Greenland and maybe Canada's as desired conquests. Obviously this is exactly what we've warned you about for years, that a second term would be more unhinged than the first. We will keep letting him do this as long as we don't call him out for the lunatic he is. We are actively supporting Apartheid, Genocide and
Ethic Cleansing

Take on the yoyo tariffs

For a couple of minutes, we had tariffs on our neighbors only to have them pulled back. I don't know how it perceived by the MAGA crazies but this seemed like an unnecessary fire drill for everybody involved. I'm not sure what we will do next but getting into a pissing match where you're really just peeing on your own shoe.

The on the Futures

Dow futures were down 650 points on Sunday night as the world awaits the opening of the markets Monday after Trump decided to burn the entire economy to the ground. Obviously tariffs are a ridiculous way to boost an economy and to believe that the exporting country pays for it is as dumb as it gets but somehow the orange conman has convinced himself and his minions that this is good policy.

God, he's dumb

Take on retaliation

As expected. Canada has already retaliated against the US and imposed its own 25% tariff on our goods. This is going to do wonders for our economy as now both goods from Canada will be more expensive and goods we try to sell to them will also be more expensive meaning they will look elsewhere and buy less of our goods.

Thanks Trump. The winning keeps getting better.