Take on the MAGA face

Every time I see Susan Dell, it looks like her face is a deflated whoopee cushion and when somebody stomped on it, her tits popped out. She has that odd combination Kash Patel's eyes, Pinocchio's nose and Ronald McDonald's lips. Only Michael and Susan Dell dan donate $6billion and be made to feel stupid for it, mostly because they are Trump supporters. Plus their laptops suck

Take on the really boating meeting


Trump fell asleep during a cabinet meeting and nobody bothered to wake him which begs the question, are they deathly afraid of him or do they prefer him not interrupting them. The best thing about the clip was that at some point he wakes up and looks like he has no idea where the hell he is and you are sure he probably wet himself.

I'm guessing if he just dies one day while sitting in his chair they'd just keep taking around he for hours. Nobody would want to get up and end the meeting so as to not catch his wrath, so they'd pull a Cory Booker thing. Rubio would be pissing in a cup, Hegseth would be doing shots of tequila from his Stanley cup and Noem would be plucking her eyebrows while Scott Bessent just droned on about cutting financial regulations

Take on the boat strikes

As Pistol Pete and Dumpy Trump try to distance themselves from the merciless killing of people on those boats, we are reminded of the rats leaving the ship.

We know they see the boat has sprung a leak and they are desperate to distance themselves to this although we all know that Pete ordered it and Trump spooned it as he loves nothing more than to torture brown people. Absolute war criminals these two.

Take on the power couple

you always know when it's fake Melania when she's holding Donald Duck's hand as we saw today when "they" stepped off helicopter. Trump also looks like he's about to croak, he doesn't even have time to out his makeup on or do his hair, he just looks like he's a lump of doing flesh at this point

Take on Lane Kiffin

College sports have become so completely disgusting with the way they have monetized every step of not. The NIL, the transfer portal and all the meaningless bowls aside. Allowing a coach to leave mid season and strong arm his staff into doing the same is the epitome of a broken system. Lane Kiffen is an OK head coach, he hasn't won anything and seems to overachieve with lower level teams dnd under achieve with premier programs. So this move to LSU will likely be another crap drain on Kiffin's boxer shorts but since everybody is getting rich, nobody cares

The on the endless war

I'm sure we are going to war, I'm sure we will lose good men and women said war and I'm sure we will make lifelong enemies. I'm sure Trump doesn't care and I'm sure he's convinced that we will never get out of our own way if we continue this mentality to colonialism. The shining city upon the hill is a crumbling ghetto

Take on an economy of terror.

We've been worried about the fact our government is dealing in an economy of terror. We have decided it was ok to kill boaters without any due process. Pistol Pete Hegseth is the head of this organization who doesn't like the fact that he has to abide by rules of war but when the commander in chief says it's ok, and we know he has immunity, we have given up any sense of righteousness. This is our new America and I don't recognize it.

Take on Karoline Leavitt m

We know that Karoline Leavitt is a worthless human and reading about her nephew's mom being picked up by ICE tells you all you need to know about her. We have watched her be an unapologetic mouthpiece for this administration and has done nothing to help the most vulnerable. Now he own family is affected and in still not sure she gives a crap. May she fall into a pool of busted silicon, hairspray and Botox.

Take on the shark jump

I wanted to like the last season of stranger things but between the time lapse, the issue that the kids are all like 30 years old and little problem that they keep going back to the same the stories. All the kids are now winy tools, the lot interests are forced and even the nostalgia has run its course. I feel like every episode is just a rehash of another one, they even mention the deja vu thing in this episodes because we have all seen this before. It's like when in star wars they had to blow up the Death Star again.

Time to put this thing out of its misery.

Take on the old man

Trump seems to have gotten old overnight. We know he's likely had some kind of stroke as he can't seem to play golf anymore and has those weird makes on his hands but the way he looks lately, it's obvious he has just gotten to that place where he should spend the ref of his days looking at birds and eating jello. I think the entire thing seems like a great bide. Send grandpa to the old person home and let him yell at a few squirrels.

Take on the Mark Kelly moment

The attack on Mark Kelly tells you everything you need to know about this moment. This is Pistol Pete Hegseth doing what he does which is basically destroy any credibly his department has in order go kiss up to the orange jubilee. There has been no better patriot than Kelly and nobody who's gone through more who is presently sending in congress. I can't imagine the hell these aholes have signed themselves up for.

Take on the uproar about the mtg pension

I swear I don't understand why people are up in arms that MTG chose to resign on January 5th, ensuring she get her pension. First of all, it's a relatively small pension, not one that in the grand scheme will mean anything and not one she can collect till she's in her 60's. Secondly, any person could do exactly the same. Think about yourself in any situation where if you left your job today, you get nothing or leave in two months right after your Christmas break and you'd guarantee yourself a pension. Who in their right mind would to leave today??

Take on the Mamdani and Trump meetup

I wish anybody looked at me the way Trump looks at Mamdani. I watched part of their joint press conference and to say Trump was smitten would be an understatement. I have seen him sort of grovel to autocratic leaders before but this was different. This was him genuinely wanting to get his attention and it wasn't quite working.

Take on JD in a tuxedo shirt.





No one lookalike a bigger douche-bag than JD Vance in a tuxedo.  He looks like a modern Bruce Vilanch Not only does he have a brown stain on his shirt, the shirt is what you put a little kid in to dress him up.  And this thing looks like it's a size or two too small for his giant man boobs.   Can somebody please tell JD and his boss that a proper fitting suit shouldn't be this much of a challenge. 

Sent from my iPhone

Take on Piggy Leavitt

when Karoline Leavitt tried to justify Trump calling a reporter Piggy, we were struck with the irony of the fact that when you see her face on you can see her nostrils. She's not an attractive human, this is well known, but she's always had that Miss Piggy look!going for her which now doesn't seem nearly as endearing.

Take on the Bump suit

Trump's suit when he meet MBS this week tells you all you need to know about him. For a guy who claims to be a billionaire and who thrives on knocking others for their appearance shows up looking like he slept on a city bench for the night cracked out on Butterfingers and Mara bars. The guy is a complete embarrassment to our country.

The on the Epstein files

The sudden release of the Epstein files smells so rotten. These GOP has spent a year hiding from it but all of a sudden they all want it releases which I'm sure mean that he's been totally bleached. We know that Trump accused Hillary is this which is just another confession, we are find to get pages of retractions in the best case scenario.

The on dead man walking

I'm convinced that Trump won't make it through his second term. I thought maybe he'd be impeached but now I'm guessing he's going to just keel over. The guy looks absolutely horrible, he's obviously going through stages of dementia and he can't use one of his arms. You know when this jackass hasn't played golf in months, something is up

We will use TOR on the day he croaks to drop our last post. Ding Dong the Witch is dead

The on the tone of the Epstein emails

The one thing the Epstein trove tells me is that we've been told he's some really smart finance guy who was able to have relationships with many of the most influential people in the world but he wrote emails like a 14 year old middle
school girl. I can't tell you why half the stuff he said meant but it was like was confusing his Gmail account and his AOL messenger one. It's disturbingly stupid.

Take on Butt Champagne

There are some products out there that I don't need and there are some products out there I thought I didn't need. I'm putting butt champagne in the former category even if my local pharmacist is trying to get me to buy it every time I walk into the place. I'm not sure what it does but I don't see the words butt and champagne going well together.

Take on Trump lowering tariffs on coffee, beef and fruits

We know that Trump is not a serious student of economics which is actually us understating it. My middle school miss is not a serious student of global economics but she doesn't pretend she is and certainly doesn't act upon it that can affect millions. Trump on the other hand doesn't think things though, he just acts and we suffer. This is an awful time to be alive

Take on the presidential blowjob

The fact Trump blew Bill Clinton is a visual I will never get out of my head. We knew he was a sick bastard and we also knew Bubba is a kinky mothersucker but this was something I hadn't considered. Feel bad for Venezuela tonight.

Take on the pedophile cabal

We all knew that Trump as all over the Epstein files mostly because his entire sycophant posse is doing everything in their power to stop it. But what gets me is that for years these crazies at QAnon have been telling us about some pedophile cabal running out of the back of some pizza joint frequented by the Clintons. I've said they were nuts but the pre I think about it, they seem like they had it pegged pretty darn close.

Take on war pigs

Venezuela is getting ready for war and I'm staring to think that Trump isn't the no war president he claimed to be. We've indiscriminately bombed a bunch of fishermen who may or may not be smuggling drugs to the Caribbean. This is what happens when you change the name to the Department of War. You are looking for a fight.

Take on the interior decorator

Everybody seems to be caught up in strums recent redecorating which is admittedly awful but once again takes way from the fact he's taking health insurance and food stamps from people. This is the game, do something outrageous to cover up the last outrageous thing you did. It's a Ponzi scheme for corruption

Take on the end to the shutdown

What was the point of the shutdown? The democrats caved when the heat got too high in the kitchen and now we are back to cow towing to the GOP again. I don't know what prompted a bunch of these losers to support Trump after like 5 weeks of having a backbone but it's on their record and their conscious.

Take on the Trump Bump

Trump has proven himself to be a completely heartless pig but the fact he's coming off this terrible week is fitting. RFK Jr and Dr Oz called him out for being fat and lazy at least sort of. He has spent more time and money refurbishing the bathroom in the Lincoln bedroom than she has done anything for poor people. He blows donkey ducks

Take on the wizard of Oz

The Trump photo in the Oval Office while the dude was having a bear attack is one that will go down in infamy. We know he doesn't have a heart, we know he's a coward and we're pretty sure dementia is riddling his brain. We have a Oz and a grand wizard. Trump just just needs a blue dress and a little dog.

Take on a terrible job market.

The October job numbers should normally be released tomorrow but with the shutdown, they won't be and this is music to Trump's ears. Mostly because we all know the job market is awful and the economy is shedding jobs which lead him to fire the ones reporting on it. But this shutdown came at a perfect time for Trump as those abysmal numbers can be hidden and of things turn around, they can just claim it was a blip. Anyway, here's to millions of unemployed people who also aren't getting their SNAP benefits. Trump loves you like he loves that guy who had the heart attack today.

Take on the FAA shutdown

As if traveling doesn't suck enough already, the FAA will reduce traffic on Friday by 10% which will mean that there will miserable delays all over the place and cancellations which will affect hundreds of thousands. But the government you vote for is the one you get. What is amazing is how little oxygen this shutdown seems to have gotten, it's as if we as a country are collectively fine with the government no long we able to function and the millions of government employees going on food stamps...oh wait

Take on Former Vice President Dick Cheney dead at 84

When I saw Dick Cheney was dead my first thought was vindication off the hundred of thousand of dead people left in his wake. Of course the jokes write themselves when it comes to this level of war criminal but I will say he had two things late in his life which could be commended. He never embraced Trump and his daughter is a true patriot.

Take on the Trump endorsement

Nothing should make you want to run to the polls to vote for Mamdani than Trump giving his full endorsement to Andrew Cuomo. We know that he's got no sway in NYC but I guess he could pull some Sliwa voters to Cuomo with this. But anybody who ran read between the lines is able to see it's just one sexual predator protecting another.

Take on the frozen burrito

There aren't many days where you feel like a celebrity's death warrants a heartfelt condolence to their fans but when the guy who invented the dozen burrito died, we all mourn. I don't know what exactly is in one of that thing but I did know I've had dozens of them between the age of 21 and 21 and a half. Those things were deadly and I can still feel the aftershocks .

Take on No New Wars

Th no new wars president is sure likes to start new wars With all of the indiscriminate bombing you know this just isn't going to end well. If this is is the kind of thing that they were doing to our fishermen's we'd be sending the marines out to take care of business .
So much for the guy who claims to not want war and also renames the DoD to the Departmwnt of War.

Take on Kash

I'm at the point where I see a headline about some Trump appointee allegation, I immediately call BS. Kash Patel claimed to have thwarted a terrorist plot which likely only means that there was some left leaving protestors who he wants to take down with boots on the ground. This is where we are, I don't believe that these guys ever club their words or make honest mistake. What they say has meaning, the same way that changing the Department of Defense to the Department of War has meaning. Trump wants to stay in power and if his war department is engaged in a huge "war", he'll use FDR as an example as to precedent regardless of of what the amendment to constitution says.

Take on the Vance-Kirk "friendship"

JD Vance got a little touchy feely with Erika Kirk and there is no denying there is some major chemistry there. We know Kirk is feeling mourning as seen by the leather pants and passionate hug she gave old JD. I think this is that time that JD tells the world that he and his Indian wife have moved apart because of all the stress of the job and starts burning the midnight oil with super white Erika.

Take on the JFK parking lot maze

Boston had the Big Dig but it pales in comparison to the JFK Jumble. I've been coming to this airport for 40 years and it has been under construction for 40 of those years. The place is a complete hellhole, the terminals are old, the public transportation options are awful and it is completely impossible to get out of this place without feeling like you are stuck in some cruel corn maze. It's a total embarrassment that this is the way we "welcome" people into the USA

Take on Bill Gates

There's so much to like about Bill Gates in his post Microsoft career. His philanthropy, his ability to tackle difficult issues and his clarity on climate change. The problem with Gates isn't what he does and says in public but what he does behind closed doors and I think we all know he spent way too much time on a certain island.

Take on warm beer

Back home, whenever you think of enjoying a beer, the imagine the beee commercials will give you at those of ice cold bottles where the temperature almost falls off the page. But not in China as you can never find Tsingtao that isn't served at the temperature of human piss. It's not just an awful beer but when you are desperately trying to avoid Moutai this is a warm piss alternative.

Take on Moutai

On my 15th trip to China, I've had my share of Moutai which can honestly be best described as being forced to consume straight gasoline. The biggest issue is not just the taste or that burn down your throat but the fact that there is a tremendous amount of social pressure to drink it. As you sit around a large round table, each person at the table comes to visit the one idiot guest requesting to do a shot together. So here I am trying desperately to dump my shots into my soup when nobody is looking or spilling it onto the table Wish me luck, it's going to be a long night....and a longer morning.

Take on sea cucumber and Cornish hens.

Walk into a market in Asia and you never know what will find. Dead birds a hanging in the window by their necks is your first sign you aren't in Kansas anymore. But when you walk inside you see these delicacies which remind you mostly of why you may want to consider being a vegetarian or at least claiming you are one. These Cornish hen looking things that caught my eye looked like they'd been sitting in Trump's tanning bed though they did taste sort of good but we did very much enjoy the sea cucumber they served later.

Take on the crackhead fish

I've not kept track of every type of fish I have consumed in my life but I'm sure that whatever was on that list has increased by at least one type this week. When I was presented with what can only be described as a blowfish on fentanyl, I was certainly taken aback. It certainly looked appetizing in the same was as a roller coaster after back surgery looks like fun but the fact that three beers and a cognac into my night, staring into its face reminded me of the crackheads outside of port authority made for an interesting internal dilemma.

Take on thousand year old eggs

To this day I'm still not sure what this bowl of greenish eggs is supposed to be. I see it every time I'm here and it just seems that fermented thousand year old eggs is a delicacy which sounds more like it will be a roller coaster for my stomach in the best case and a real life Jurassic Park in the worst one

Take on sleepless in Asia.

Nothing is worse than being wide awake in Asia in the middle of the night. It's one thing to be on the can because of bad jellyfish but when your body just can't get settled, you feel totally helpless. It's been like 24 hours and I believe I'm on hour 4 of sleep and you 20 hour of being wide awake.

Take on the lounge food options

You'd think that they would want to show you their best side when you land but if you assumed so, you'd be sorely mistaken. I walk into the Shanghai lounge starving and looking for just about anything that looked half way edible. I walk over to the self serve section looked in the bowl and found what can only be described as a looking like a combination of overcooked chicken feet and mushy sea urchin.

It's not just that it looked completely unappetizing but the fact that even the locals mostly passed on it, tells you that this is likely a trap for a dumb tourist.

Take on terminal 1

For those people who have flown out of Terminal 1 in China, you know what a third world country experience it is. There are no decent shops, the lounges suck and ther lines are endless. The entire experience flies in the face of modern living but I guess since every flight here kind of goes to a country we're chaos rules. So it's good practice.

The on the fighter pilot poop video

Trump posted an AI video of himself dumping feces on crowds and as expected, the entire world is captivated by it. Democrats have their panties in bunch, republicans are putting panties on their heads. The issue of course is that we aren't talking about the Epstein files which is the way he wants it, well he gets it

take on Money man

Rutgers should throw in the towel. I've watched for three decades and they somehow have gotten worse. We are paying a fortune to coach who can't win the big 10. We are resigned to the fact that we can't get a competent loon to do this and are getting the lowest common . denominator .

The on Whiskey Pete


Whiskey Pete Hegseth wore a Russian themed tie to a meeting the Zelensky because he's a goal piece of crap. It's amazing how bad Trump's cabinet is at being human, it's as if he sees empathy and compassion as a character flaw. I hate all of them for their actions but their lack of any heart is shocking.

Take on the debate

Usually when there are multiple candidates on a stage there is some effort to coordinate to knock down one candidate. Usually it's the guy in second place taking down the guy on the top but in today's mayoral debate both the guy leading the polls or the guy at the back of the race used the opportunity to tell Cuomo he's a filthy and dirty slob