Take on Elon the heel

Elon Musk is the modern equivalent of a WWF wrestler. He goes from hero to villain to hero to heel so comfortably, irs hard to know when he's serious and when he's just trolling. His newest thing is to call out people who voted for the Big Bloated Bill and I'm here for it. Just can't wait for him to go directly after Trump again. We need to see the two of them in a cage match. Release the Epstein files.

Take on the injuries

All those Achilles injuries can't just be coincidence. I'm hearing them blamed on low top sneakers, year round basketball, differences in shooting motions, more jab steps and back steps etc. I'm not sure what the heck it is but obviously seeing what could be 3/5 of an all star team go down in three rounds was telling me it's something. I'm going with the fact that they guys are over training. They aren't running 5v5 simulated games enough but are all just weight training to get that slight advantage and at some point the human body is like "yeah....no".

Take on the parking meter

I pulled into a parking spot today and was meet with the following parking meter sign

"15 minutes for each dime, 30 minutes for each quarter"

We wonder why municipal governments go broke all the time
Please God make it make sense.

Take on horrible traffic

I don't know what it is but the traffic leaving NYC has been beyond awful the last week. Now we know it's never good but lately it's taking 30 minutes just to get out of Port Authority which even when things are good, has a 9th level of hell feel to it. It seems that the entire commuting world basically said F congestion pricing, I'm not going to suffer in this heat and I'm just going to get in and out I the comfort of my car. And now we are basically back to being Los Angeles .

Take on dark Cuomo

I'm not sure what we'd have to do but somebody needs to tell Cuomo that nobody is interested. He's on of the least likable people around and to stay in the race is a weird ego stroke

What in least shocked about is the national media's new obsession with Mamdani. This guy is like the male, Muslim version of AOC and the new largest villain to the GOP which in itself makes him more likable.

Take on Nobel Peace Prize

My first thought when then Iranian and Israeli ceasefire was announced was that if Trump gets a Nobel Peace prize he will be completely insufferable. Obviously, a ceasefire alone shouldn't get you near the Nobel Peace prize but the Trump machine is working in overdrive for exactly that. I'm just hoping we can end Middle Eastern wars for a change.

Take on the New York City Mayoral Primary Election Results

I've been watching the polls intently since they closed tonight at 9pm and have to say it has been amazing to see Mamdani's meteoric rise. What's more amazing is how every five minutes you could expect another 8% of the vote to come in like clockwork..this happened straight from 9:15 till about 10pm when all of a sudden it just kind of stopped at 90%. We've been waiting for 25 minutes to get the next drop and it just hasn't happened. You just know the democratic establishment is trying their best to figure out what the hell to do now cause you know Mamdani is their biggest nightmare

Take on the heat dome

We spend all winter hoping for spring, then the entire period from April through mid June is rains and then all of a sudden we are stuck in some heat dome. I can't stand the weather around here, it's absolutely awful and does nothing but make everybody irritable, cranky and annoyed which right now I am a complete subscriber to.

Take on the big tent MAGA

The MAGA movement has always been an uncomfortable collection of muppets. The tech bros hate the hardliners, the neocons hate the non interventionist, everybody hates Ted Cruz and Stephen Miller hates everybody including himself

It's like the big tent theory but instead of acrobats and elephants they are all just clowns.

Take on Iran

When you are afraid your president will embarrass the country every time he opens his mouth, you know we are not in a good place. Today's Iranian bombing was not unexpected but it certainly was not welcome for a country weary of endless wars. We know that the Iraqi's fought against Iran for like two decades and got nowhere just like we fought against Iraq and Afghanistan for decades. This is an awful day for America and our president just embarrasses us further

Take on the deal

Trump's attempt to get an Obama level nuclear deal with Iran is now on the two week trajectory..not that anybody believes it. We do think that we aren't going to get World War III but will get awfully close before some cooler heads will prevail. I know Trump is hoping for a Nobel Peace Price just like I'm hoping for a million dollars and award for blogging.

Take on Tucker a day after

The Tucker/Cruz interview continues to baffle me mostly because somehow the bigger fucker wasn't Tucker. I mean, it was obviously a total set up and a bunch of gotcha questions and had it happened to just about anybody else, I would be annoyed but the fact he embarrassed Rafael Cruz just makes it too good.

Take on Trump W Bush

Trump W Bush is going to lead us into another pointless Middle East war on the back of baseless WMD claims. I can't stand what we have become but I'm totally shocked that John Bolton isn't part of it. So let's just hope that we come to our senses and not get into this thing especially on the back of Netanyahu scamming Trump.

Take in the American dream

Trump's little parade didn't do it, the US Men's soccer team doesn't feel like they will do it and with nothing little Donnie has done gives me any faith that the USA is coming out of this.
But the second I heard the news that every American can rally around..Joe Chestnut is coming back and when he puts his mind to it, nobody represents us better.

Take on the Trump phone

Trump came out with his own phone which you are sure is just a cheaply repackaged Chinese piece of junk running Android. What bothers me less are the schmucks who will buy the phone but that the fact that these hicks think rich guys wouldn't buy these heinous things. They completely represent what a what a poor guy thinks a rich guy has.

But I'm just ready to turn the page on the corrupt taco. Not sure what it Weill take but I'm not resting until we do.

Take on Trump's comment

Trump was so sad about his impotent birthday party that he's decided to double down on being a piece of shit. His moment of the day was in reference to calling Tim Walz to speak to him after the horrific political assassinations by a Trump loving lunatic Instead of just being a normal human and showing compassion, he did what he always does in these situations which is show everybody what a horrible human his is.

Take on seat 11A

Getting on a flight today, I certainly looked to see what the seat 11A equivalent was. There it sat, occupied by a heavily tatted dude who looked like he could rip the door off the handle which was sort of encouraging. But the idea that this seat now has magical powers has got to be the most ridiculous concept, the reason I want it is because there is no seat in front of me to jam into my knees.

Take on seat 11A

Getting on a flight today, I certainly looked to see what the seat 11A equivalent was. There it sat, occupied by a heavily tatted dude who looked like he could rip the door off the handle which was sort of encouraging. But the idea that this seat now has magical powers has got to be the most ridiculous concept, the reason I want it is because there is no seat in front of me to jam into my knees.

Take on the Japanese subway.

The difference between the Japanese mass transit system and the hellhole that is what we have in and around NYC could not be more evident than a Friday night subway ride to Shinjuku station. The floors are clean, the exit is orderly, the car is quiet and there is no fear of getting shoved onto the tracks. I know the idea of criticism of our subways is unheard of by some but it's not as if our buses or commuter rails are any better, the entire concept of US mass transit is so miserable that you'd rather sleep next to a gigantic rat...which sometimes on the train you do.

Take on the catheter

There is a lot of chatter online that Trump is wearing a piss bag on his leg attached to a catheter. We know he's got weird hand bruises likely from IV injections, we know he seems to have lost mobility in his right side, we know when he stands he's got this weird crack-head forward lean, so to say he's a symbol of good health would be a stretch. What we are sure of though is that the job to have to change his piss bag and his diapers has to be one of the least sought after jobs around for any normal human while being the most desired one for a guy like Stephen Miller

Take on some smart public toilet etiquette

The Japanese really do it right when it comes to toilet etiquette. I walked into a place today and was met with a sign instructing dudes to sit in the bowl instead of trying to hit it while standing stationary. I have a decent enough aim but the little post piss shimmy means that we're all slipping afterwards.

Take on the military coming to Los Angeles.

We've been trying to detox off of Trump the last week and focusing on the good things in life like lovely toilet seats, slimy food and crappy flights but when our government starts bringing the military into our streets, we can't stand by. Obviously the scenes of burning cars isn't a good one but I don't think the Marines showing up and beating the hell out of protestors is going to be the win that Trump thinks it will be.
We know that this isn't the end and Gavin will likely get arrested in some staged scene which will vault his presidential aspirations. Here is to hoping we don't have a kid standing in front of a tank moment.

Take on Joann's

I read a headline that Michaels wa buying the Joann's private label and had a few questions. I knew that Joann's had gone bankrupt but
- did anybody realize that Michael's was not yet bankrupt?
- did anybody realize that Michael's and Joann's wasn't the exact same thing.
- is there any chance that anybody is following around the Joann label band who isn't already shopping at Michael's?

Take on slimy food

I have a friend who travels to Japan often and always describes the food as gross and slimy. Nine out of ten times I argue with him more but every once in a while I find something that even somebody as adventurous as me, wouldn't touch. My option today included sushi with horse meat, some kind of seared fowl and then the slimy looking crab brain. I will eat almost anything but there is no chance crab brain is something I'd actually spend money on.

Take on the Japanese bathroom

The Japanese do a lot of things well: food, politeness, efficiency but nothing is better than their hotel toilet situation. They have more bidet options than a high end spa has jets, when you sit down on the seat it's like sitting on a warm cloud of air and if you punch the right button combination you get a spicy tuna hand roll. I'm pretty sure the left jet uses Sapporo while the right one uses Asahi.

If spend half my life on the bowl if I lived here.

Take on the joy of flying

I work up for a flight to Asia this morning at 3:45. Was at the airport before 5am and ready to board my connecting flight when I got notification that although our first leg was on time, the connecting flight would be delayed by 4.5 hours. Delta suggests I reroute through Atlanta which I did. I spoke with the gate agent and they assured me that although the connection in Atlanta was 2 hours, id be fine. I wait around for the new flight but as I approached my gate, I see them making an announcement. My assumption is they are boarding active military members but instead we are told our 7am flight has been delayed to 9:20am meaning we will miss the connection. I frantically run to the other gate where a nearly full flight to Atlanta was taking off but couldn't get on. The agent gets me onto another flight saying that because of all the trouble, they can offer me a direct flight on United. I take the option which sounds lovely.

Till I show up at the gate and told that I'll be sitting in the back of the plane in the middle row.

Try to get back on a flight to Atlanta but that has already left and there are no seats to Detroit so I can't get there to catch that flight either.

14 hours like this is going to be absolute hell

Take on the Elon Musk battle

Is it ok to buy a Tesla again?? I don't know what it about Trump but as soon as you are his enemy, I like you slightly more. Like Rand Paul the guy who a cross between a pubic haired Brillo pad and Carrot Top who has gone from completely punchable to not totally awful purely due to the fact he isn't a MAGA sheep.

Anyway, I guess I'm rooting for Elon if for no other reason than he might be the one guy who can dethrone the big sloppy one.

Take on the blind leading the blind.

Americans continue to prove that they are imbeciles when it comes to understanding who will pay for things. These are the same people that max our credit card, drive nearly $100k pickup trucks and claim a billionaire is looking out for them.
Well Trump has convinced them that Mexico was going to pay for the wall and now that China will pay the tariffs.

Which is funny way of te explain it since I keep getting a bill.

Take on the Emailed newsletter

I know the entire concept for websites is engagements and finding people to click on links etc but there has never been a time when I've signed up for a newsletter and felt like it wasn't a regrettable act minutes later. I know we want passive information but any website that is asking me to sign up for more of their stuff will only wind up annoying me when my inbox is bombarded with junk.

Take on the flasher

Standing in a T-Mobile store the other day, I found myself waiting behind one dude. I had some time to kill, so it wasn't killing me but the note and more I waited, the further and further this dude's pants fell off. I'm not saying he was trying to channel some 90's rapper but he seemed completely unconcerned that his belt line as now even with his knees. I realize that it's not a Toys R Us but it's still supposed to be a family friendly establishment and this dude basically flashing his junk was maybe friendly but far from family friendly.

Take on white trash

I never got the guys who put the scrotum at the back of their trucks but those guys are sort of classy when compared to the guy driving the Soce Ram with the sign
Dodge the father
Ram the daughter

In this back window. Really class people.