Take on the toe

Walking out of a six year olds birthday party today, I tripped over a paver stone which was set about a millimeter higher than the rest. I didn't hit the floor but the stinging on the top of my big toe was horrible. I get the kids together a look down and my entire flip flop is covered in blood. After some further inspection when wiping away most of the blood with a snot covered, ketchup stained paper towel I saw that a piece of skin, the size of a dime was dangling off the bottom of my toe and it was gushing like Old Geyser.
I cover it with a bandage which is meant for a shotgun wound and make my way over to my car leaving a trail of blood from the backyard down the driveway and into the street. I have to think some detective is going to think he just broke the case of his life if he pulls onto that street this afternoon.
I go home but my foot it throbbing and I'm losing pints of blood every 30 seconds. After a while my wife suggest I go to emergicare and have them look
The nice Asian Doctor basically pukes when he unwraps the gauze from around my toe, although I am not sure if it is because of the hanging chad or the fungus outbreak. He throws some antiseptic down on the toe which I imagine is just as much for his safety as mine and starts working in there. The last words I remember are "this shouldn't hurt too bad"
I wake up 6 hours later with my foot bandaged, my ego bruised and my five hole aching

What a day.