Take on mixing drinks

I go weeks without as much as a beer but the entire month of December
has been one blood bath for my liver after the ther. My had the
unfortunate experience and further aftermath last week of a night when
I started with champagne, moved to a red wine, had a couple of beers,
did a glass of white as it was the only thing on the table and ended
it with a double espresso. Ten years ago this would have been
considered "Tuesday" but 10 years, 3 kids and a three inch drop of my
sack makes this a not very coming occurrence and like a guy coming out
of retirement, I had a lot of rust. Not only did I feel like hell
the next morning, I actually started feeling hung-over before I had
the white wine.

Next time somebody offers me a glass of champagne I'n going to decline
because honestly I'd prefer they had a hot chick piss in a glass and
offered me that.