Take on the lucky seat

I've taken a lot of flights over my life, usually somewhere between 20
and 30 different legs per year. Multiply this by nearly 20 years of
work and I'd guess that I've been on nearly 500 individual flights.
I've been on 787 and A380's and puddle jumpers but never have I had a
worse seat than the one I have today on an MD88. I literally have
the last seat on the plane, the only way I'd be further back would be
if they got me a seatbelt on the john. It's not just the fact that
I'll likely miss my connection because it'll take a half hour to get
out but whenever you get planted next to the bathrooms, you are just
screwed. Between the smell of those urinal cakes, the inability for
my seat to recline even an inch, the noise of the engines and the fact
that my window seat doesn't actually have a window, this will be some
trip

The only positive might be that because I had six IPA's last night and
a gallon of coffee this morning, being near the bathroom might save me
a few seconds that could otherwise turn a crappy flight into a..well
crappy flight