Take on the hotel card key

I am convinced that the biggest form of legal torture are hotels
giving out those room card keys. I swear that there is some
logarithm working behind the scenes which directly links the amount of
times it takes to swipe the card to how badly you have to take a leak.

I swear the last time I got back from a business dinner after six
beers and two cups of coffee and after ten tries had to find a potted
plant because I wasn't going to make it down to the lobby