Thursday, April 17, 2014

Take on the MH370 conspiracy

I had dinner with a master conspiracy theorist a few nights ago. One 
thing lead to another and after a couple of IPA's he let loose on the 
state of the Malaysian flight 

With everything else going on in the works (Ukraine on the brink of 
civil war, horrible story of the Korean ferry, anniversary of the 
Boston bombing etc) the missing plane has gone under the radar...AND 
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT MY BUDDY THOUGHT WOULD HAPPENED. 


See he has this theory that US government is behind this entire thing 
and the other 'news' coming on CNN and the USA Today are all designed 
distractions from the real story. He says that his research shows 
that the pilot was forced from the cockpit by a couple of goatee 
having cell-phone on their belt wearing, polo shirt wearing, OfficeMax 
looking terrorists, who proceeded to take the flight at 5000 feet 
towards a secret American naval base on some remote island in the 
heart of the Indian Ocean by shadowing another 777 in the same 
airspace to avoid ground radar detection. The reason behind this 
goatee hijacking was that there were three guys on the plane who held 
a patent on some form of computer integration and the FBI wanted that 
technology. So, his theory states, they hijacked the flight and have 
been keeping it hidden on this naval base while the goatee assailants 
have been running around starting an all out proxy-war using 
Heartbleed to attack the cyber security of Russia through a complex of 
hacked websites in retaliation to the Crimea escalation. The FBI, 
working along Mossad have be running a counter intelligence through 
emissary Rodman to infiltrate the leadership of Korea who has been 
funding the uprising in the Ukraine using a combination of missiles 
bought from Pakistan, paid for by Iranians and smuggled through 
Kazakhstan by German special ops as they are hoping to destabilize the 
region to get the Eastern European countries out of NATO and 
eventually our of the EU. Meanwhile the Turks are secretly tunneling 
into the Gazprom gas lines and sending gas over the Black Sea under 
shortening oil labels to Singapore at an 45% discount off the market 
so that they can eventually take over the Malaysian Pennisula. This 
is done to begin the process of an Al Qaeda home-base in South East 
Asia for attacks on Chinese exports to bring the cost of raw materials 
up for the USA and make all Americans pay higher prices for LCD TV's. 
This will lead to domestic arguments, more divorce and infighting and 
the only thing that can bring peace back to earth is the long awaited 
Dream Theater reunion tour which will really be method of sending a 
new complex morse code using odd time-signatures to the Venezuelans 
that we are willing to broker a deal to curb communism in South and 
Central America by committing to the purchase of more from Venezuela under the guise of stopping Arctic exploration which will appease Obama's base 

By the way, I'm betting dollars to donuts that the North Koreans sunk that ferry 




Sent from my iPhone

3 comments:

  1. Getting all the hijackers to grow goatees would seem to be the least likely thing in this entire theory. Their leader? Yes. The rest of them? No.

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  2. North Korea is a righteous country built on a utopian ideal that unfortunately got infused with Confucian bullshit principles of patriarchy and primogeniture.

    North Korea just doesn't bootlick Western powers like the racial sellout pussies in Japan, Taiwan, Thailand, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, and India all do on a daily basis.

    The only true patriotic Asian countries are North Korea, Vietnam, and Cambodia. They stood up to Imperialist powers and shed blood for it.

    Don't swallow the xenophobic, shortsighted, racially tinged propaganda that the Western media force-feeds down your throat. North Korea didn't attack anyone. It is more likely that America attacked someone, and America didn't attack anyone.

    South Korean boat captains are drunken louts, just like 99% of Korean men. That's the simple and accurate explanation. Occam's Razor. Google it. Bing it. Know it.

    Signed,
    One of the 1%

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Philippines also sucks Western cock prodigiously. Hence, you cannot trust them.

    ReplyDelete