Take on the guy with the Porsche hat

Is there a douchier thing to do than wear a Porsche hat?? I was at
the park yesterday and saw this dude pull up in brand new Porsche,
park it in the handicap spot and stroll out looking like he just
walked out of a scene of Men in Black. But unlike Will Smith who
accessorizing his with floppy ears, this dude decided that to complete
the look he needed a Porsche hat instead.

There is no reason to wear the hat..everybody knows saw you pull in,
everybody heard you rev your engine, everybody saw you walk over to it
ten times to make sure there were no scratches and everybody noticed
when you pealed out when leaving but do you really also need the hat?
Every other dad at the field is wearing a T-shirt and jeans, you are
already the only one dressed like you are a maître de, so it's pretty
obvious who the Porsche belongs to but needing to advertise your level
of douchiness on your forehead is a new step.
I get that you hit your midlife crisis, you probably haven't gotten
laid in six months and are overcompensating for a little winkie but
come on man, have a little self respect. You come across like you are
a six year old girl coming into preschool wearing a Frozen t-shirt,
hoping to get attention from your playmates except less cute and way
more pathetic
Drive your car with the top down, get yourself a girl on the side who
is willing to take her top down, blow your life savings on a car you
will probably wrap around a pole but get a life...




and slow the F down on a local street you jerk