Take on the Sherwin Williams color palet

As part of our move to out first real house, we have decided to get it
painted which cannot be more painful than of I actually broke out a
paintbrush and roller myself. Not only is a professional paint-job
much like a professional blow-job...extremely expensive but like the
latter, you don't expect any spillage from the former by going with
professional over amateur help

But what is really a killer is trying to find a color. I asked the
contractor to paint the basement white and was told that I could go to
the local Sherwin Williams store and pick out my white. They have
more than 180 types of white, all of which with one more pretentious
name than the other. There are the standards like white, pure white,
extra white and super white which all look the same. But then you
have he ones with the clever names like Athena dream, pearl river,
plush pillow, ice-cream, linen closet, chrissy snow and a bunch of
others and THEY ALL LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME
So here I am, a guy who wears an oversized Jets jacket stuffed with
newspapers like a homeless man, trying to pick out the nuance of white

This will end well