Take on the umbrella swap

As New York embarks upon its first venture into a bike sharing program
(and the socialism it will inevitably breed), somebody asked me if I
thought it would work. I can't say I have any knowledge about the
effectiveness of bike sharing programs but I actively participate in
an umbrella sharing program which is very effective

It goes something like this:

I buy one of those crappy black umbrellas from some dude hawking them
on the street corner for $5 as I step out of the subway on a pouring
Monday morning. I walk into the office and throw my wet umbrella into
the receptacle by the door. When I walk out for lunch, I reach in and
play bobbing for apples and pull out a slightly bigger one than the one I
donated into the communal pot, this one has black one with a reddish handle.

I walk into a lunch spot and a half-hour later I walk out inevitably
forgetting the larger umbrella with reddish handle underneath my table
I walk a few steps and realize it is too wet to continue, I think
about the umbrella Ii left under my seat but don't worry at all since I belong
to a umbrella sharing program. I peek my head into the front door of
an Irish bar where I find one of those large nice corporate golf
umbrellas sitting by the door with 'Morgan Stanley' blazon across the
front. I figure that my tax dollars paid for part of that sucker and
really it is very wet. I walk back to work throw the Morgan Stanley
umbrella in the bin and upon leaving the office, I grab another
umbrella from the office umbrella receptacle, this time a nice red one
which opens automatically.   I go to a restaurant and put my wet
umbrella down by the door as I walk in. Two hours later as I leave
the restaurant I forget I ever had an umbrella and walk out to head to
a bar. There I have a bunch of drinks and when I am just toasty
enough, I walk out stopping by the door and see there are easily 10
umbrellas piled up, I wade through my options and find one of those
super compact Totes that practically collapsed into the size of a
peanut. This has to be one of the nicest umbrella I have owned
especially because it is engineered to be wind resistant so you don't
have it inverting on you as you walk down 6th avenue with a tornado
embarking  upon you. I make it to the station and walk into the subway
completely dry.

I pass out on the subway ride home waking up just before the announcer says
'77th street', scamper out the door an up the stairs out into the cold
wet night, my newest treasure still lying on the floor underneath my R train
seat