Take on the Republican Debate

Well it took about 31 months but TOR is back to some Presidential Hopeful commentary.   I know that most of you have already logged out of TOR by the time they saw the headline but for those of you left this is our take on the first Republican Debate

first of all, we must confess that we didn't actually see the debate so none of our information is first hand or unfiltered but anyway here are our comments

- I get the whole Mitt Romney looks presidential thing but let's be serious this country just doesn't like him.  He's like the guy at the party who is married to the crazy friend of your moms who you are stuck talking to.  He seems like a decent guy but anybody who is that tanned scares me.   This dude lived in Utah and in Massachusetts, not Florida..   so either he's playing a ton of golf -which tells you all you need to know about how serious he is about getting serious- or he has a tanning bed which means that he's probably been exposed to way too much radiation for my blood.   I know that he's hoping for one of those Dallas Maverick moments where you show up to the dance enough times and finally when everybody around you either dies or has a political scandal you are the last team standing.    A guy this polished has to have more skeletons in his closet than wives and that scares me too.

- Tim Pawlenty.    I'd like to do Timmy boy a favor and just let him know right now that he will NEVER be president.  He seems like a nice enough guy and I'm sure he's plenty likable but lets be completely serious..  He looks like the president of the Chess Club and probably spent a lot of time tattling on his elementary school friends.   Honestly look at your boy Mitch Daniels and save yourself and your family the stress and just bow out now, you will never be taken seriously...seriously

- Michelle Bachmann.   I get it you are the anti-Palin sort of Palin Palin.   You are not as hot and not as dumb and not as chipper but you do have some serious backing from those Tea Partiers..  You might be president..of the congressional glee club but you will NOT be POTUS

-  Ron Paul.    I get it  you hate the FED..  not going to happened.. sorry Zed

-  Rick Santorum.   You couldn't win a reelection in your home state state.. please go away

- Newt.    a half a million in a revolving Tiffany's line of credit is hard for the American public to relate to.. although a bunch of debt and a ton of infidelity probably isn't.     It might be time for Newt to bow out before the busboy quits and he is sitting in an empty restaurant hoping to finish his apple-tart

- Herman Cain.   I swear to you that I've never heard of this guy.   He looks a bit like the old RNC chairman guy and I'm not saying that because they are both African Amer.. wait. maybe I am.     Anyway this guy is the CEO of Godfather Pizza..  are you kidding me, is this really a serious candidate for president, it seems like he should first be forced to move up in the restaurant business.   I have never heard of Herman Cain and I also have never heard of Godfather Pizza so until this dude takes over at Dominos and brings back the 30 minute or less delivery guarantee, I won't take notice..

- Jon Huntsman.   I'd be more excited if he changed the spelling of his last name so it started with a C
honestly I don't know anything about him except for the fact that like Romney he's from Utah which probably means he's competing with Newt in the race for most wives.


so that leaves us with a bunch of total retreads like Guiliani, Palin and Hucklebee.    I am not excited about any of them that even that dweeby Indian dude from Louisiana seems like an interesting option.