Monday, September 13, 2010

This needs to be answered

TOR's defense of Gay Marriage is well documented and the editorial board has been mightily impressed with how the rest of the country is starting to come around to realize that human rights should be protected, not -stepped upon, by the Constitution. A marriage shouldn't be limited to some religious nut's interpretation but rather a commitment two people make to one another though we over at TOR headquarters have yet to have been invited to attend a gay-marriage ceremony. I gotta say we look forward to the first opportunity and not only because at age 34, there won't be that many more weddings to attend of my peers. People always say that couples in NYC marry later than those in the rest of the country but when I look at my own social circle, there are probably only 2 or 3 more weddings I'll ever go to.
Well this got me thinking, what exactly is the protocol for a gay weddings?

- Who drops to one knee to ask the other for their hand in marriage?
- Who stands on the left-side of the aisle?
- Who walks out last?
- Are the bridesmaids in both parties wearing the same dress or are their two competing wedding parties?

But most importantly what happens at the bachelor or bachelerotte party?

See a bachelor party is supposed to be the celebration of a guy's last night of freedom as an unmarried man, a night he shares with his closest guy friends away from his lady and her friends.
But if the couple is gay does that mean that both attend the same party which is complete nonsense and goes against all that is holy about the stag party. I have often said that lesbian relationships is like a straight relationship on 20 lines of coke mainly because there is no down-time. If you have a straight couple there are many natural times to be apart for an afternoon or an evening. The guy spends a sunday with his buddies watching football and drinking lite beers, the girl goes out for martinis for ladies night and follows it up with gossip over egg white omelets and a latte the next morning.
Not having this outlet to let the relationship settle it is one of the reasons you find gay couples to be so intense, the relationship is I overdrive.
Now take that concept and think of the stag night, where exactly is the line drawn when it comes to who's invited? A Jack and Jill is already one of the gayest things I've ever attended, now make it a Jack and Jack and your head may explode. How can your buddies get you get a $1000 worth of lap-dances with each one being progressively sloppier after groomsmen scour the place for a chick who looks least like your fiancé.

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2 comments:

  1. UnknownSeptember 16, 2010 at 1:29 AM

    Have you picked a song to dance to at a gay wedding? There's a good chance "Living On a Prayer" is not in the playlist. If you try busting out when of your '80s British techno favorites, it might go over a lot differently than your take on it (think of the white guys walking into the black bar to see Otis Day in "Animal House"). And don't even think about trying "It's Raining Men."

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  2. UnknownSeptember 16, 2010 at 1:34 AM

    Also, on a serious note, you say that "some religious nut" should not decide what defines a marriage, but we should let unelected and unaccountable judges decide these things for us? I'm not debating whether gay marriage should be legal... only the process of how it becomes legal. Cramming major social change through the courts has always been a recipe for societal discord. Convincing the masses and using the legislative branch creates much more permanency to whatever your pushing.

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