Crazy Tattoos

I’ve had a buddy date a chick who had more ink than the NY Times and I never really got it. He would brag that it was a total turn-on but I couldn’t get past the fact that she couldn’t even look normal when going to work. Now I must admit that I’m too chicken-shit to get one myself which is probably a good thing because every tattoo I ever considered is one I would be regretting till this day.

The way I see it dudes look terrible with visible tattoos about 90% of the time while chicks look terrible 99% of the time.

Now it’s not that I’m anti-tattoo, I’m anti the visible ones especially the kind of thing where you can’t see where one starts and the other one ends. I know a hidden tattoo on a chick’s ankle might be cute or mysterious and one right above her five-hole might be sexy or skanky but for the life of me I don’t get the full out tattoo arm-sleeve thing.    If you are into the art-work you have cluttered it up so you can’t tell anything apart but I guess if you are into the shock value you can rest-assured your father is turning over in his grave.

There is not just a difference in the look but there is also a big difference between the girl who gets a tattoo on her ankle with her initials and the other one who decided to recreate the Sistine Chapel on her back. I look at one and think she might be a little crazy but she was smart enough to realize it could be covered up while I look at the other one and think that you’ll find her at the Meth clinic in a month. People say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but name me the person who has an arm-sleeve tattoo who has a legit, normal, respectable job; I’ll wait on the line till you get your answer.

I am not sure where the limit is but I kind of think the maximum amount of ink on any person can’t exceed one per body part and you have to be able to cover all of them up. You can have one on your ankle, one above your crotch and maybe one in the small of your back but that is the absolute max. Anybody who starts having multiple ones, especially visible ones becomes instantly repulsive to me. I do get that dudes seem to like to have affairs with chicks with crazy tattoos because the theory is probably that the more tattoos the crazier the chick will be in the sack, but somehow that can’t be worth it. A chick’s body is awesome to start off with, there is no way a picture of a unicorn or Charlie Manson is going to make that more attractive.

Now I’m not saying that I don’t get the skanky look because I do but there has to be a limit. A hot looking broad like Megan Fox might get a bit more leeway but if you are already a 6-7 on the scale, each visible tattoo pegs you down 2 points and you weren't starting from a very high branch to begin with.